Life's A Beach

I’m back from my weekend getaway in California. My husband and I took my son to the Golden State to get away from the Southern heat, humidity and RAIN this past weekend. We mainly visited beaches on our short journey (Manhattan, Santa Monica & Venice) but we also did the tourist thing and headed to Hollywood Blvd. to check out the stars on the Walk of Fame, took pictures at the Hollywood Vista point (good spot to photograph the Hollywood sign although the drive up Mulholland is treacherous!), and we drove down Rodeo Drive (didn’t see any celebs though). A highlight of the trip was eating at Sizzler! Ha ha! Don’t laugh! That was a big deal in H-Town when I was 16 but the buffets ran them out of town so, it was a bit of a nostalgic trip to get the steak and endless shrimp with the all you can eat salad bar. Reason number 4,576 why I need to go on a diet right now!!!

Anyway, even though the trip was brief it was nice and relaxing and helped me focus even more on what’s important in life. God, family and love. Nothing more, nothing less. I am so grateful for so many things and as I stared out at the majesty of the Pacific ocean I started to compile a list in my head of what I’m most grateful for:

1. Being in God’s favor
2. A husband who adores me
3. The unconditional love of my son
4. My sister (for incessant laughter)
5. Sight
6. Mental health (some days ;-)
7. Physical health
8. Freedom
9. Books
10. Chocolate

Gone Fishin'

I'll be back!! Needed to get "Far Away" for a few days. . .

Book Spotlight: Ruby and The Booker Boys

Eight year old Ruby Marigold Booker uses her style, charisma, talent, and all out girl power to make it in a household full of boys. But these aren’t just any boys; her brothers (Tyner, Ro, and Marcellus) are Hope Road Academy’s and Chill Brook Avenue’s famous Booker Boys. She’ll do whatever it takes to get out of their shadows and make a name for her self.This colorful and rhythmic new series in children’s lit is all about the love and support of family and community. Ruby finds the strength and confidence to overcome any obstacle and accomplish everything she sets her mind to.New Ruby books are scheduled to be released every three months!
(Excerpt from derrickbarnes.com)

These books are from the creative mind of Derrick Barnes and illustrated by Vanessa Brantley Newton. This series is sure to follow in the footsteps of the Willimena series by Valerie Wilson Wesley. There aren't many books marketed to young black children especially with illustrations that look like them. Be sure to support this series and Mr. Barnes.

Inviting Images

Looking for stationery, labels, invites and more that are designed especially for US by US? Check out My Mimi Pie. Too key-ute!!I

Get Moving

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about making some life changes. The number one thing I need to do is commit to getting healthy for life instead of just losing weight and going on diets every time I have an event to attend or a vacation coming up. I need to start eating healthier and exercising daily. I feel so much more energized when I exercise on the regular and it seems the older I get my ability to drop 7 to 10 pounds within a couple of weeks is starting to diminish. My metabolism is almost at a screeching halt.

Not to mention I want to be around and healthy for a long time to come- my son is only four, I can’t afford to be falling a part. I’ve got to be around to cheer him on at his college graduation! I think I’m going to meet with a nutritionist and set up a plan for healthy eating, I’m also going to start walking in the downtown tunnels at lunch coupled with working out two days a week at the Y, and 15 minutes of yoga in the mornings.

Adopting a healthy lifestyle is a great thing that parents should do not only for themselves but for their kids. In this high tech/computer and video game era we live in childhood obesity is at an all time high. But parents have the power to help change their children’s sedentary routine and dependency on snacks high in fat and sugar. When children grow practicing healthy eating habits and getting regular exercise they are more likely to continue these habits into adulthood. I’m fortunate because although I definitely need to step up my game when it comes to physical fitness, I am married to a runner and exercise enthusiast. My son is definitely influenced by his marathon running father and he participated in his first kid’s race a couple of weekends ago. He loves to run, play all kinds of sports and he gets daily exercise at school each morning, so I would say he’s off to a fairly good start. Now, if I could only get him to eat his broccoli and understand that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches do not constitute a well balanced meal!

H-Town Review: The Woodlands

The Woodlands is a suburb/city North of Houston. Many of the residents of this 55,000+ populated city have no reason to leave their hometown unless they are unfortunate enough to work outside the city limits.

The Woodlands has a plethora of retail shops (Wal-Mart to Pottery Barn to Anthropologie), restaurants (McDonald's to Grotto), a two story mall (with a Children's Museum inside), Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion (which showcases concerts featuring some of the hottest acts in the country), a waterway (you can hop a water taxi for a scenic view of the area), a hospital, hotels (designed especially for conferences), and top corporations like Anadarko, Hughes Christensen, & Hewitt Associates.

We spent Sunday afternoon in The Woodlands and let my son run through the water fountains at Market Square after having lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. Our trip to the Woodlands was about 50 minutes one-way but a great way to spend the afternoon. I highly recommend this excursion for visitors and hometown residents as well.

Pay it Forward

I've talked about my passion for reading and how my son is following in my footsteps not to mention how we both get giddy about trips to the library. Well, in addition to checking out books from the library I also buy a lot of books. So you can imagine that our bookshelves are little over run from time to time.

We have some books that are like old friends, they contain a favorite passage or they were a special gift or perhaps they were signed by the author- those books we will cherish and keep forever. Other books that we enjoyed but have no interest in reading again are finding new life at the local library.

We donate our used books to the library and even if the library has those titles already they have programs that give the books to needy children or children in hospitals or they will sell them for a $1 at their annual book sale to raise money for library programs.

So, I encourage you to gather up all those books you don't read and have forgotten about and take them to the library! I think it teaches children a good lesson too when they feel they are doing a good deed for someone who may be less fortunate or like my son says, "a little kid who is learning to read will like these books,"

Whatever the case it's a great thing to do and your local library will be extremely grateful.

Heavy Heart

I had another post prepared but right before I was about to publish it I changed my mind and decided to compose this post instead.

A very dear friend of mine lost her baby yesterday. She had two previous miscarriages and after carrying a baby full term -40 weeks and 2 days- she went into the hospital for an emergency C-section and the umbilical cord had strangled the baby in utero.

I have never known anyone including myself who wanted a baby as bad as she did and I am beyond devastated and heartbroken for her and her husband. She is the kindest, generous and most genuine person I know and to say she would have been a good mother is an understatement. I don't know if they are planning to try again or not. . .but if I could ask God one question it would be why does something like this happen to someone like her and there are other people I know that have babies and abortions like it's nothing and then they don't provide the right environment for the child when they get here and . . .I know you can't question God. . .maybe he has bigger plans for my friend that may not include motherhood.

I pray for my friend, her husband and her family that they are able to get through this tough time. In the meantime I implore all readers who stop by (I have site meter so I know you're looking you're just not commenting) if you have children- hold them tight, love them right and thank God for the blessing daily. I know I take for granted sometimes that my son is healthy, he's smart, he's well adjusted, and that he's even alive. But I want to take this opportunity to throw praises up to God for making it all so, in Jesus name, Amen!

Movie Review: Kung Fu Panda

Okay, so I broke down last weekend and bought my son a Happy Meal (something I had been really good abut NOT buying because after spending $1million on Happy Meals I finally wised up and realized all he wanted was the toy) and he gets this Kung Fu Panda toy and he starts saying he saw the “commercial” on t.v. and he wants to see the movie.

So, we go as a family last night (in shock and awe that my husband agreed to attend) and almost $50 later we were seated to watch the feature presentation of Kung Fu Panda. It started off interestingly enough like a flat cartoon (like I used to watch as a kid- without all the 3-D wizardry) but it was just the main character, Po having a dream.

I found the movie to be funny and very clever. Dustin Hoffman is awesome as Master Shifu, he sounds like an ancient Asian sage. As a fan of martial arts movies I thought the creators did a good job of representing the genre. However I was shocked that some parts were so dark, serious and real. I realized that maybe it was a bit much for our son, who has only been 4 for a little over three months, when my husband and I both look down at him in the middle seat and he looked a little. . .um…petrified. His eyes were twice the size and he had suddenly gone mute. We asked if he was scared and he shook his head, “no” but he admitted later that he was a little scared.

The fighting scene when Tai Lung breaks out of prison is very cool but also pretty violent and it kinda came out of nowhere so, I think it totally took my son off guard. Although he likes to “play” karate, jump off the stairs, wrestle, and run into walls he’s really a softy at heart and he doesn’t like it when people (or animals) get hurt for real. So, I had to assure him repeatedly that it was all just pretend. I thought he was going to have nightmares for days but it turns he wasn’t as traumatized as I thought because he fell into a deep coma like sleep and didn’t wake up at all throughout the night.

So, a word of caution to anyone making plans to see it, beware that there are some parts that might startle or frighten young kids.

Daydreams

I’ve been daydreaming a lot lately. At random times about random things. Usually I’m thinking about the next thing I have to do instead of focusing on what I’m doing but mainly it’s been pretty random. For example:

In a meeting the other day: We’re having a conference call and I’ve totally zoned out and I’m staring out the window and noticing how close the buildings are (from the 20th floor) and I’m thinking to myself I wonder if I could JUMP from building to building.

On the bus: I take my car to a lot and park it and ride the bus into town (gotta save on gas so I can have cash to buy all that stuff my son doesn't need!) and it always amazes me how people have no bus etiquette. They put their bags in the seats or they are having a full blown telephone conversation on the bus. Talking loudly. There was a guy in front of me who I imagined myself tapping on the shoulder and saying, “Who are you talking to? Can I talk to them? Can you ask them what they think about global warming or when the war in Iraq will come to an end? I mean since your conversation is obviously so important you are sharing it with everyone on the bus!”

At my desk: I am surrounded by pictures of my son and I start thinking about taking him to see Kung Fu Panda (we’re going this evening) and then I start thinking about Angelina Jolie and all of her kids and think it’s just not fair that she gets to have all those babies, a nanny (or two) to help her out, a boatload of money AND Brad Pitt.

In the car on my way home: I start daydreaming while simultaneously riding the bumper of the car in front of me and refusing to let in those people who get in the lane that is ending and want to cut in front of you after you patiently waited your turn in line-anyway I daydream about a story I’m writing about a married couple who met in high school. I think about Common and Nia Long playing the characters on the big screen but then I think they kinda look like they could be related.

At the library with my son: We are the only black people in the library except for two girls on the computer who are logged into myspace. I wonder what other parents I know are doing with their kids. I think about my sister, her kids are probably locked out of the house while she’s getting some sleep. Just kidding, that only happened once. (maybe it did. . .maybe it didn't. .)

At this moment: I should totally be working instead of chronicling my latest daydreams because I am already imagining my supervisor trying to get an update from me at 5:00 and me looking at her like she has six eyes.

Yawn. All this daydreaming is making me sleepy. Speaking of daydreaming. . I love this song. . .had no idea who the heck Lupe Fiasco was/is but I'm a huge fan of the incomparable Miss Jill Scott!

My Son the Teacher

The other day my son and I were coloring pages in his coloring book and I flipped to the cover to see how the characters looked to make sure I colored them just right. My son asked, "What are you doing?" I replied, "Looking to see what color Tyrone's shirt is supposed to be," He stopped coloring looked at me and said, "Mama, use your imagination it can be any color you want it to be. You don't have to do it like everybody else,"

My mouth hung open. It hung open even wider when I asked, "Who told you that," his reply: "You did,"

Wow. Not only does he listen to me but apparently I am a hypocrite who doles out advice but doesn't follow it. Several people have been quoted in various languages I'm sure about the importance of walking the talk and action speaking louder than words. I wonder then how often I send my son mixed messages. I'm always telling him to try his best meanwhile I complain that I'm not getting anything accomplished. Am I trying my best?

A simple activity like coloring served as the wake up call I desperately needed. I can't expect my son to take anything I say seriously if I'm not following my own rules and advice. Starting today I pledge to arm him with information to help him on his journey and to also practice what I preach so, that I can have positive examples to SHOW him when he questions whether or not mama know what she's talking about.

Happy Father's Day

Often the contributions father’s make to their children’s lives go unnoticed and uncelebrated. Instead of receiving accolades they receive criticisms. We hear stories about “dead beat” dads all the time who fail to pay child support or father’s who choose not to have any contact with their children. Even worse are stories about father’s abusing and in some extreme cases killing their children. But I am willing to bet the moon (if I owned it) that the number of active, involved, loving, caring father’s far exceed the number of bad father’s we hear about so often.

Studies have shown when children grow up with a father who plays an active role in their lives, they are more confident and have better relationships with their peers. No matter what type of relationship the parents have it should never affect how either interacts with their children because children need the love, affection and attention of both parents.

As someone who grew up in a single parent household raised by a single mother and little contact with my father, I am ECSTATIC that my son has the benefit of his father being active in his life daily. My husband is a wonderful father and this Father’s Day I want to let him know how much he is loved and appreciated. What I love most about his relationship with my son is:

**He can be gentle or stern when he is doling out discipline, depending on what our son needs
**He’s teaching our son to respect and protect me
**He plays with our son and is genuinely engaged
**He reads to our son and changes character voices
**He is able to laugh at himself and it’s okay if our son is amused too
**He’s is always encouraging our son to try his best
**He loves our son unconditionally

And as a result of this dynamic relationship my son thinks his Dad is cooler than Superman. Happy Father’s Day MO!!!

The Answer is the Question

My reason for creating this blog was two-fold: to share my parenting/life experiences and to try and hone my writing skills. I do not purport to know everything or anything for that matter about life or parenting. These are simply my experiences and observations.

However I have made other wildly random observations that led me to write today’s post. Because sometimes you don’t have any answers just all the questions:

1. Why is it when you really don’t want to be bothered with someone they suddenly want to talk to you and ask you all sorts of random things that you could careless about?
2. Why is it in 2008 there are black people who still appear to think being “light skinned” automatically makes someone attractive?
3. Why do men always get caught in lies?
4. Why do people who are abrasive and rude always get their feelings hurt so easily?
5. Why does food that is the unhealthiest for you taste so good?
6. Why do children instantly mock your bad behavior?
7. Why isn’t the rest of the world like children under five who see no “race” (when they are playing everyone is their friend)?
8. Why did Michael Jackson go crazy?
9. Why did Tupac, Biggie, Aaliyah and Left Eye have to die?
10. Why are so-called “Christians” the biggest hypocrites on Earth?
11. Why does your elderly relative still treat you like you’re ten when you’re almost forty with kids of your own?
12. Why does America cater to non-English speaking folks?
13. Why isn’t educating children a top priority in this country?
14. Why do some people buy their children name brand clothing before they can even read?
15. Why do mothers carry around so much guilt?
16. Why do we waste our time, energy and LIFE doing things we really don’t want to do?
17. Why do we set bad examples for our chilren but expect better behavior from them?

I am serioulsy at a loss. . .

Site to See

I am a personalization freak!! I love things that you can get your name, logo or picture printed on. I truly believe that's how my son learned to spell his name at such a young age (around his 2nd birthday) because he saw it everyday all over his room!

Here is a new site that specializes in personalized books, posters, & placemats. I love the coloring book idea and the zoo book with your child's name hidden in the background is a must-have! Enjoy and happy shopping!

http://www.frecklebox.com/

New Friend

I know quite a few parents who have made the pilgrimage to the Build A Bear Workshop and spent a grip on stuffed animals and accessories. I thought I'd managed to avoid that pitfall since my son is four and totally into all things car related. The last thing I thought he would be interested in is a stuffed animal.

As usual I was WRONG! We were in the mall the other day- the same mall he's been in a dozen times- and suddenly he noticed the big huge bear in the window and asked, "What's that place?" I shrugged and replied, "Some place to make stuffed animals," He literally yanked my arm and pulled me into the store.

$35 later we brought to life a Triceratops complete with the team uniform of his favorite home town team. Then we had to come home and register the Triceratops online and play an interactive computer game. He's been attached to that thing like it's his new little brother. Well, that may be as close as he's gonna get so, more power to him!

And as for me, I really need to start making trips to the store by myself!

Delicious Trick

My son LOVES spaghetti! He would eat spaghetti and pizza everyday if I let him. Unfortunately the only vegetable I can get him to eat consistently is green beans. So, I finally tried the old vegetable in the spaghetti sauce trick and it worked!! He ate THREE small bowls of spaghetti, which was full of SPINACH and he at every bite!

I must toot my own horn- beep beep- and say it was quite delicious. You can make your own sauce (courtesy of Patti Labelle):

• 1 pound ground beef (or ground turkey)
• 1 large onion
• 2 tbs. olive oil
• 3 garlic cloves
• One 28 ounce can crushed tomatoes
• Two 6 ounce cans tomato paste
• 2 1/2 cups water
• 2 tbsp chopped basil
• 2 tbsp chopped oregano
• 1/2 tsp crush red pepper flakes

If you are time challenged or just don't want to do the work PREGO works just fine! Just be sure to season your ground meat with garlic salt and ground pepper before browning and adding it to the sauce. The final ingredient to your sauce is the vegetable of your choice! Dice or grind the vegetables really fine to avoid the little ones catching on and picking out pieces. Let the sauce simmer for at least 20 to 3 minutes for ultimate flavor. Pour over your favorite pasta (I prefer angel hair) and enjoy!

Warm garlic bread and a side salad complete the meal. Delish!

Majesty

I know this is not even in the realm of parenting but I would be remiss if I didn't wish a HAPPY 50th BIRTHDAY to His Royal Purple Badness! Prince is 50!!! I can't even tell you how in denial I am about that. . .if he's getting older I guess that means so am I. I praise God because we all know the alternative to life but I can't help become more aware of my own mortality when I see people I grew up watching start to age. . .although Prince still looks pretty flawless and his music remains timeless!

The first picture is from 2007 and the second one is circa 1983. Wow!

Mama 24/7/365

The other day someone complimented me on my book and said my son was lucky to have me as a mother. Someone else made a similar comment when I shared a Spiderman morphed picture of my son that we made on the computer.

While I appreciate the compliments and I do think I'm a phenomenal mama (ha ha!) I have to admit I was a bit puzzled. I thought ALL mother's did similar things for their children. Okay maybe not writing a book but surely I'm not the only mother who plays games that involve pretending to be a superhero, or draws pictures that are not complete until they are decorated with paint, glitter and toothpicks. Am I the only one who reads books that require using four different character voices? Does anyone else run through the house screaming like a banshee as you try to beat your child to the imaginary "finish line"? How about sitting down on the couch to engage in a quiet conversation about their day. I seriously doubt I am the only mother that does these things.

I actually look forward to doing these things and most of them are MY idea! I'm trying to provide balance in my son's life. His father shows him how to hit a baseball, hold his breath underwater, do things in the yard and sometimes he helps wash the cars and take out the trash. But I think it is important that he not only use his muscle but also his mind.

I also force him to play by himself because he is an only child and I think it will not only help him strengthen his imagination but also allow him to get used to his own company. I don't know if I could handle a high maintenance child that needed constant attention and entertainment. Bottom line he will only have one childhood and I want him to enjoy every aspect of it. I want him to have amazing experiences as well as a strong foundation that will guide him from adolescence to adulthood.

Oh Boy, Oh Boy, Obama

I have intentionally avoided talking about politics on this blog. I felt that my personal political views were not necessarily relative to parenting issues. . . that is until Barack Obama won the Democratic presidential nomination.

This historical feat is very relative for this particular forum because while I am a firm believer of "reaching for the stars" and "never giving up hope" I must admit there is a pessimist who lives within that is always pointing out the reasons why things will never work.

But now as this black man who was a public servant but virtually unknown to most of America until the 2004 Democratic Convention is thisclose to becoming President of the United States of America the pessimist in me has died.

Now when I tell my son that he can be ANYTHING in the world that he wants to be including President of the United States and he looks at me with those beautiful brown eyes full of wonder and asks, "for real?" I can proclaim without a doubt, "For real!"

Get ready people because A Change Is Gonna Come!!

And the Winner Is. . .

My son has developed a serious competitive streak at the age of four. I don't know if it's "hereditary" (his father is ridiculously competitive) or if it's a boy thing. But he ALWAYS wants to win. And when he wins he gloats about it, "Oh, yeah I won, I won," and when he loses it's more like, "No fair, I wasn't ready, you cheated,"

So we have stopped letting him win at games to help him cope with reality and the fact that there will always be someone bigger, stronger or better but you never give up and always try your best. Now, when he loses we make him shake the winner's hand and say, "Good job," and he adds, "But I'm going to win next time," Baby steps.

He received a trophy at the end of T-Ball season and he was beyond ecstatic to get his first trophy and although everyone on the team got a trophy he said, "Look what I won," Geesh.

I want to make sure he strives for excellence throughout his life but I don't want him to think life is over if he doesn't come in first and I'm not just talking about sports or games. I'm talking life in general- school, work, relationships, etc. When you give 100% and never give up then that automatically makes you a winner regardless to whether or not you take home the trophy. (Yeah, I know but it sure does feel good ;-)

Ow!

Can you believe June is here already?! Happy Birthday to K.B.! Dare I say it, Christmas will be here before you know it! Why did time seem to move at a snail's pace when I was a kid and now it's a total blur?!

I often want to just get off the merry go round and sit on the sidelines and watch my life as it stays on a perpetual loop of chaos! (But I guess then I wouldn't be living. . .only existing.) Oh, but be careful what I wish for! I was actually sidelined this weekend as my injury resurfaced! My elbow is pretty much locked and if I try to move my arm out of the ONE position it feels "okay" in, I find myself in serious pain. The orthopedist told me if I was back in a couple of weeks I would have to get a Cortisone shot. I'm okay with that. But he said if the shot doesn't work then SURGERY is the third option. That, I'm NOT okay with. . .

It sure ain't easy being cheesy especially when you're old and decrepit!