Have you ever found yourself overcompensating in the discipline department because other folks aren't disciplining their kids?
When we were in the airport waiting on our flight there was this "family"- I use the term loosely because the roles didn't appear to be very defined. There were two women who looked to be about the same age (35+), one man around 30 and SIX kids. Two older girls probably 11 and 13 and FOUR kids under the age of 8. . .three boys and one girl.
To say they were unruly is an understatement. I have never in all my years of traveling ever seen AIRPORT security have to come tell someone about their kids. And the thing that made it even more painful for me is that they were black. The only other black family in the waiting area with us. Sidebar- in addition to their behavior being out of line they looked a hot mess, very unkempt.
At one point both women disappeared, the two older girls were into their MP3 players and the other four kids were in the middle of the floor- as in the area where everyone is walking to get to their gates or get to baggage claim- playing with cars and making all kinds of noise. The "dad" (I heard one of them call him that) was just sitting there totally oblivious. I checked out the expressions of the other people around us and everyone seemed to be perturbed by their unruly behavior. They were just LOUD and rowdy. I know they were just kids but at that age they should know what behavior is unacceptable. . .then for the adults to just sit there and allow the behavior to continue.
The best thing that happened to us was getting bumped from that plane. I couldn't have even imagined being on a plane for 12 hours with all that madness. (I also found out later they were visiting someone at an airforce base in Okinawa and all three adults worked for the airline so they didn't have to pay for the tickets.) As a result of their behavior my husband and I kept giving my son stern reminders about being "good" and if he raised his voice to ask a question we both got all up in arms. Ridiculous, I know. . .but for some reason it was almost like we were trying to prove a point that not ALL of OUR children act that way. There are a few of us who have children who know better.
The thing that was hilarious (in retrospect) is that every time we would tell my son things that were unacceptable he would say, "I know" or "I don't do that" or "Why are you telling me that?". Although we had NO problems out of him (nor do we ever have problems when we are out in public) I just want to make sure we reinforce what's acceptable because being a black boy who will someday become a black man people will already have a preconceived notion about him- I just don't want him giving them any ammunition.
1 comment:
Great points made, and those which I think that if everyone took the same approach as you, it would really serve wonders for each and every community.
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