Mama's Boy

It's no secret that I love the fact that my son is a mama's boy. He told me the other day that I was his one true love! Of course this was after he asked me what that meant because Bruce Banner said it to Betty Ross on the Incredible Hulk. But I digress, despite our "love affair" I do realize there are times when I need to "turn him over" to his father for some tougher love and discipline. Being the little Pisces that he is, my son, is always looking for rationale. It's not enough to say to him, "because I said so," he wants to know WHY are you saying so and why is it not up for negotiation. He tries to play that game with me all day long but something in his father's tone let's him know that perhaps he should not have all the answers to life's questions at FOUR so, he backs down and does what he's told.

Now when it comes to him not feeling well is where I draw a line in the sand with my husband. It incenses me sometimes when he tells him to "shake it off" or tries to make me feel bad for "mothering" him when he feels bad. He says I take it too far and I MAKE him act like a baby. . .AH! The nerve!! For example, last week my son had an allergic reaction to soap that contained perfume and dye (don't ask) - his entire body broke out into a rash and he was miserable. He was itching ALL OVER. We gave him Benadryl and lathered him in Cortisone and Calamine but the relief was not instant. So, there were times- not even that often- that he would take his nubby little fingers and start a scratch fest (he has NO NAILS because he's starting to bite them again). My husband would chastise him saying he was going to make it worse and not to scratch. The little Pisces says to him, "Daddy, if it itches I have to scratch." OK!

So, me being the mother that I am, hating to see him suffer through any discomfort no matter how small, I had the bright idea to take a sponge that was for the most part soft but it had just enough texture to provide relief if you rubbed it over your itching body. I took off his shirt and proceeded to give him a rub down with the sponge. My husband came UNGLUED! He actually said what I was doing was GAY and that I was going to turn my son into a marshmallow.

If I wasn't so pissed when he said it I probably would have laughed because he sounded so damned stupid. I proceeded to yell, "HE IS FOUR AND HE IS ITCHING!" Gimme a break, I'm nine times his age and if I was itching I'd want to scratch too! I never pegged my husband as homophobic and I happen to know for a fact he had a sappy relationship with his mom, God rest her soul, so I don't know why he's trippin'! I think that my son needs and deserves equal parts NURTURING and discipline. I don't want him growing up to be some cold, heartless, MAN because of the idiotic notions that his dad is unconsciously planting in his head. Hubby and I need to have a serious heart to heart because this morning my son told me, "Men don't cry,". I proceeded to tell him he's NOT a man yet and that REAL men do cry if they are hurt. I want him to be a strong, righteous, noble, man who is not afraid to be in touch with his feelings because of some bullshit societal rules that are imposed on him.

Besides as much as I love him and want to protect and nurture him I KNOW when it's time to put the hammer down and get tough and trust me my son, knows when he's pushed THAT button. But for the most part I just love him, nurture him, teach him, hug him, kiss, show him right from wrong and just try to enjoy each day with him DRAMA FREE. Because ten years from now if he's getting into all kinds of trouble he will NEVER be able to say he didn't get enough love or hugs from his mama!