Confused

I am confused about something. Why is it when some people decide life is not worth living anymore they also make that decision for others? I seriously don’t understand the murder-suicide phenomenon. I hate my life so much that not only am I going to kill myself but I don’t want you to live either so, I guess I hate your life too???

I mean if a person is so determined to end their life then DO IT and claim that one way ticket to hell. But by all means don’t take other folks with you! I was shocked to hear about the man in L.A. who killed his family and then himself. How in the hell do you kill FIVE little children, your wife and then yourself? Because he got laid off (I think his wife also lost her job). Sorry if this sounds crass but if he really wanted to turn a selfish act into a selfless act he should have found away to terminate his life that would appear to be an “accident” and then perhaps his family could have collected some type of insurance policy. I’m just sayin’. . .

The other thing that shocked me is that this was a BLACK man. Surely he was aware there were other options. Was he that proud or just an idiot? I’m thinking the latter. I have had some low points in my life, which when you really think about it is what makes life well. . .life. You have peaks and valleys. It’s never perfect and there are ALWAYS tests of strength, will and faith that you have to get through and I guess it’s true that only the strongest survive. The weak apparently take their lives (and the lives of others) because they figure it’s easier. Like I said, I’ve had some low points but NEVER, EVER, NEVER would I ever kill myself.

In all honesty I can say that I’ve thought about what “life” would be without me. Would I be missed? But those thoughts always had to do with me either never having been born or dying of some natural cause. I can barely swallow those big ass prenatal vitamins so I know I couldn’t take any pills. I would never try to shoot myself because what if my aim is slightly off and I become paralyzed instead? And why in the world would someone stick a knife in their chest over and over? I like to think I have a high tolerance for pain but come on. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

Life is already short enough and regardless to how much we dread it or even fight it the fact is we will ALL die someday anyway- why hurry along the process. Find the light, the love and the goodness in life and enjoy it while you can. Sorrow don't last always. . .