Another Baby. . .Maybe. . .NOT

As my biological clock starts to wind down- I swear from time to time I feel this tingling almost buzzing like feeling in lower region almost like my ovaries are going into shock. When I have these sensations at first I think: maybe I should make a gyno appointment but I also think about the window of opportunity closing on Baby Number Two.

The thing I fear most is that after I have TOTALLY convinced myself that another child is out of the question I will have one of those "late in life" babies in my forties! AGH! Where is the tallest bridge located again??

I think about another baby from time to time (mostly at Christmas, what a cool gift that would be) but for the most part I am totally and completely happy and satisfied being a mother to ONE sweet, smart, super, silly, impish, lovable, adorable, little four year old boy! No matter how long I am allowed to be in his life or have him in mine, I am eternally grateful for this experience but I seriously cannot say that I want to do it again.

I have my reasons. Some of them are a bit selfish some of them not so much. . . but I tell you one thing contrary to all the REASONS people are throwing at me as to WHY I should have another baby I think these are the worse reasons ever:

1. So your child will have a play mate. (He has twelve play mates in his class that he sees every day and he has TEN first cousins plus a step sister who visits every other weekend.)

2. If- God forbid- your child dies then you would at least have another child. (Seriously, someone said this- first of all NO ONE could EVER replace my first born-EVER. Period. But what if- God forbid- BOTH my children died? I mean that has got to be the DUMBEST reason EVER!!!!)

3. When you get older it would be good if your child had a sibling that could help with the responsibility of caring for you. (First of all that is NOT why I gave birth to him- so that I’d have a caregiver in my old age. Second of all, who’s to say I’m even going to need a caregiver. But since that omen has been put out in the universe, I’m going to start saving for my spot on the cruise ship right away!)

4. If you and your husband die together he won’t be left alone. (No worries because we will probably all die together since people are so determined that someone is going die!!!! Seriously, if this were to happen he would be very well provided for and very well loved- NO ONE will ever be able to replace his parents just like no one could ever replace him.)

5. So he won’t suffer from only child syndrome and be so spoiled. (First of all, I refute the notion that he is spoiled. He is four and attached to stuff that belongs to him. I’m 37 and attached to stuff that belongs to me. He is in an environment where he HAS to share and is a part of a social community that involves taking turns and helping out. I have watched his behavior from a far and I am very impressed with this little person who used me as a vessel to get to this world- he is very considerate and kind and if he’s exhibiting those traits at four then I think he might be all right.)

Bottom line, parenting is a lot of HARD WORK and I admire women and families who are able to provide an abundance of love, time and attention to more than one child. I thank my mother for having more than one and I love my sister immensely but I just don't feel the need or desire to expand my own family. And it's not that I doubt my ability to be able to love or handle another child but right now my focus is on trying to equip my son with the tools he needs to navigate this world without me one day. Besides I don’t think I’m depriving him by not having another child, that just means there's more of me to go around.