Slowly but Surely

As you can imagine things have been a little crazy ( or crazier than normal) in my world. We're finally trying to regain some sense of normalcy. . .our power came on Thursday evening around 6:30 and the way we found out was hilarious (in retrospect). My husband- bless his heart- had gotten the hook up with a 15,000 watt generator (yeah, he could have powered up the entire street) and he also had an AIR CONDITIONING WINDOW UNIT- I didn't even know they still made those. . .I have no idea where he got this stuff and while I was grateful I was somewhat leery.

I kept thinking something was going to blow up or we'd have carbon monoxide in the house. So, I was extremely paranoid. At one point I was sitting on the couch watching this monster in our backyard with all these cords coming out of it and all of a sudden I hear this grinding sound and I start screaming. . ."Oh, my GAWD it's gonna blow!" Turns out the grinding noise was our GARBAGE DISPOSAL. Someone had flipped the switch and when the power was restored that was the first thing that came on. After I nearly gave my husband a heart attack we started celebrating. We went outside to tell the neighbors who were all outside in their driveways. My son ran out and started yelling, "hey everybody we got lights!"

Although I am EXTREMELY grateful that the power has been restored at our house (we still have friends and family who are without power) and while I did miss it- things weren't that bad when the power was out. We learned to improvise. We stayed closer together. We went to sleep earlier. We talked more. We were still.

Now that the power has been restored we're back to our frenetic pace. Today was my son's first day back at school and he was feeling the pain. He's been on "hurrication" (vacation due to hurricane- heard that on the news last night) and it was hard for that young brother to get it together this morning. As for me, man oh man, I was already struggling to stay on track and now I have to kick it in to the highest gear possible to get caught up before my ridiculous travel schedule (for work) kicks in next month. Next month. . .do yall realize that' s NEXT week?!

AGH!!

Life and Death

After seeing snippets from Randy Pausch’s “last lecture” I started thinking (after I stopped crying) what would I do differently if I knew I only had six months to live?

I think people find it morbid to talk about death especially in the black community it’s almost a taboo subject, which is ridiculous because the fact is we are all going to die- someday. There have been instances within my extended family and even when my mother-in-law passed away- where the lack of a plan for “final arrangements” left the bereaved in a tough spot not only emotionally but also financially because there was no life insurance.

I think we need to not only open up a dialogue about death in our community but in our respective households. Your spouse or someone close to you (if you are not married) should be made of aware of all the life insurance policies you have and contact information for activating those policies upon your death, if you have a checking, savings, 401k or other financial accounts be sure to update your beneficiaries annually, be sure to designate a power of attorney in the event you are injured and cannot make medical or financial decisions for yourself and finally consider pre-arranged funeral options such as paying in advance for a burial plot or casket. Then once you have all that morbid business out of the way, start living your life to the FULLEST each day!

I thank God daily for my health both physical and mental but if I were given a fatal diagnosis with only six months to live I would:

1. Kiss my husband and son even more each day
2. Write my life story- that way when my son is telling his children about me they’ll get the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
3. Start a literacy program at a local inner city school with a plan for it’s continuation for years to come
4. Let my hair go natural
5. Take my son to the Bahamas (because he’s been asking to go)
6. Spend more time with my mother and sister
7. Try to finish at least one fiction story that I’ve started- I would compile the others on a disc (or USB drive) and leave them for my son.

The only thing I would regret is not seeing the wonderful man that I KNOW man son is going to become. But no matter what happens, I thank God for the opportunity of having him in my life now and getting the chance to be his mother for however long I am allowed.


NOTE: ALWAYS HAVE A SEPARATE PERSONAL LIFE INSURANCE POLICY FROM THE POLICY THROUGH YOUR PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT! IF YOU LEAVE THAT JOB UNLESS YOU CONVERT THE POLICY YOU NO LONGER HAVE THAT INSURANCE, I DON’T CARE HOW MANY PREMIUMS YOU HAVE PAID. IT IS DIRT CHEAP TO GET A POLICY IF YOU ARE IN GOOD HEALTH AND UNDER AGE 40!!!!!! (Yes, I am yelling!)

Really?

As the mother of a little boy who will be entering the public school system in about eighteen months I have mixed feelings about the “sexual harassment” policy that some schools have adopted.

I totally understand and support the idea that no child should be put in a position where they feel victimized in any way by another student (or teacher for that matter). I would personally come to the school and deliver a public ass whipping to my son if I thought he was intentionally hurting or harassing another child without provocation (or depending on the situation even with provocation). But I don’t know how I feel about labeling a CHILD (under the age of 10) as a sexual deviant or even insinuating that they have the capacity to harass someone sexually.

I mean do we really live in such a debauched society that our children are capable of sexually violating each other at SIX YEARS OLD?!?

I think early on when inappropriate behavior is identified it definitely needs to be corrected. Regardless to if you are a boy or girl, you should keep your hands to yourself and not “grope” each other. But sometimes in the innocence of childhood play especially with boys I have seen where they tend to do things that will spark a reaction. For example, last night my son kept acting as if he was going to spray me with water because I kept shrieking and telling him not to. . .he thought it was a game because Mommy had not put on her “serious” face yet.

I think in some part due to images they see (whether in person or on t.v.) no matter how innocent, a couple kissing in a commercial for example, they try to emulate those images to get a reaction from the intended. I refuse to believe that a male child in elementary school who swats a female classmate on the behind (which is dead WRONG) is doing it with the intention of trying to “cop a feel”. Again, they need to be pulled aside and told that the behavior is unacceptable because if it’s not corrected early on- then as they get older there will unequivocally be a problem. But I think that if punishment is going to be doled out it should be for “hitting” or even “touching” but when you say “sexual harassment” and essentially treat a child like an adult you are in many ways taking away that child’s innocence and potentially placing deviant thoughts where they never existed.

Here’s what started my rant. http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/AsSeenOnGMA/story?id=4585388