Sibling Revelry

Yesterday my son attended a new sibling course at the hospital in our neighborhood. I saw a description of the class online and thought it was a neat idea especially for children who have been the only child for a while. But I must admit once the time came to attend the class I was tempted to blow it off- if for no other reason than I am a lazy, tired, and overwhelmed pregnant woman who will be giving birth in less than three weeks!

But my son was beside himself with excitement so I pulled it together and off we went- with hubby in tow. I am very glad he had the opportunity to attend. They showed a video about how babies grow and what happens when the baby comes home (crying, eating, sleeping, pooping, crying, and it starts all over) and the important role of the older sibling.

The soon-to-be new siblings got to put a diaper on a fake newborn baby, my son totally mastered the diaper changing thing, which is very scary- note to self: hide the diapers. I think he’ll probably use them like he does the superhero band-aids. Put a new one on “just in case” the baby has an accident. They also got instructions on how to hold the baby and wrap the baby in a blanket. The instructor also talked about keeping toys off the floor and out of the baby’s reach so that she won’t choke on them. Finally, at the end of the class they received gift bags with books to read the baby, coloring books, stickers and a stuffed animal.

I thought the most interesting part of the class was when the instructor played therapist and started asking the kids if they thought things were going to change around their house and how they felt about it. When she asked my son what he thought was going to change he said he would have to start sharing. Apparently that was his only concern. I was actually shocked that he even said that- because from day one his mantra has been, “I’m the big brother so that means I’m the boss”. I’m sure there are times he will assert his “big brother” rights but I also know this little girl is going to have him wrapped around her finger.

(I’ll post pics from the class later.)

Forever and A Day

Oh, yeah I have a blog. . .

My BABY boy turned five on March 2nd. I am still in denial. Sometimes it feels like he's much older but most times it seems as if he just turned two the other day. The thing that's so weird to me is that he's always the age he is now. . .translated- my best and sharpest memories of him are when he was four. I remember little things he did at two and three (barely anything at one) but it's like he was born at his current age. I don't know if that's a deficiency on my part as a mother or if that's how it is for everyone.

I've promised myself to slow down a bit and enjoy the "precious moments" a lot more with Baby Girl (who by the way will be here in four and a half weeks!) especially since this is my LAST hurrah! No more babies for this old broad!

Life has been moving along. Work is totally kicking my ass and the psychology course I'm taking is proving to be a bit more challenging than I had originally anticipated. I had to talk myself out of jumping from the highest bridge when I made a 75 on an exam! Since returning to college as a grown ass woman I have never made any grade less than an 90. . .but then again I haven't been applying myself or preparing myself at all. I'm one of those sickening people who cram for a test a few hours before and usually get an A. Not so much this time. I think I might have to actually READ (gasp) and study the material if I plan on pulling out an A in this class!

What do you think it means if someone you work with is asking you a million questions about if you're going to start a baby registry and what is the theme of your nursery. . .someone who is not really a "baby person". Mmhmm. My presumptious nature smells a surprise baby shower in the works. I just hope it's not on one of my down days when I roll in with my "natural" hair and something I found in the back of my closet to stretch over my stomach! Looking a hot ass mess while everyone is yelling SURPRISE! Ha ha!

Anyhoo, I'm currently at work taking a break from the monotony of a huge project that I'm starting to lose focus on. I promised to have it completed before I left for maternity leave but now that I'm on the downhill, swollen ankle, Braxton Hicks contractions side of things- my focus is leaving me. I am doubting this project will be complete. I guess I might need to tell somebody. Part of me thinks maybe leaving something undone might give me a little job security. . .I would hate to have them come to the conclusion- in my absence- that they can do without me! I just sincerely wish I could totally do without them!

Here's my sweet prince on his special day!

My Life.

Okay, one day before I totally decide to shut down this blog I promise to post a video of my son and one of our stimulating conversations. I want to do this just to prove that I am NOT making up some of the stuff this kid says! Last night he left me speechless during two conversations in the span of thirty minutes. I literally did not know what to say to him and I think it's because he always shocks me. It's never anything I expect.

Case in point, his father was going over results from a comprehensive physical that he (my husband) takes every year. So, my husband is at the table in the breakfast room and my son and I are listening to him from the family room. My husband is going on and on acting as if his over production of creatine is a death sentence when my son out of the blue asked me, "Mama have you ever had leprosy," I stared at him extremely puzzled because I'm thinking there is no way he just asked me if I had leprosy. I barely know what leprosy is surely a 4 year old has no clue what that means. "What?!" I asked. He repeated the question- slowly, for my benefit obviously. "Where did you hear that? Do you even know what that means? Why did you ask me that?" I hit him with a barrage of questions.

He grabbed my hands like he's trying to soothe me and he said, "Leprosy is when you have a bunch of sores or scales on your body, like on your skin. We learned about that in a Bible story at school. But don't worry because Jesus can heal you if you get that," My super parental reply? I started coughing and had to go and get some water. By the way, I've never had leprosy unless Jesus cured me before I realized I had it.

Less than ten minutes later I am in my bedroom, while my husband is STILL reviewing the results of his physical, when my son comes in and says he wants to talk to me. Oh, no more conversations about leprosy! This time he tells me he would like to share a secret with me. I TOTALLY encourage the sharing of secrets because while sometimes they are innocent and ridiculous they could eventually be something totally serious and life threatening so, I always want him to be able to share secrets with me. . .actually I try to discourage having secrets from mama in the first place.

Anyway, he tells me this little girl- who he talks about constantly as he's blushing and grinning from ear to ear- this little girl in his class (who is also FOUR) told him that she is falling in love with him. My mind was still reeling from the leprosy thing so I asked him if we could share his secret with daddy. He hesitated but shook his head, "yes". So I go back to the kitchen and tell my husband a little girl is falling in love with your son, please handle.

His head snapped up from the report and this idiot- I mean wonderful man that I married- started grinning and asking "who"? UH, not helping daddy. I do not want my son to be labeled as the pre-school sexual deviant because he ends up kissing this girl or holding her hand. We are living in a totally different society and while on one hand it makes you cover your heart and go," AWW," on the other hand all it takes is for one little innocent action by him to totally turn this into a suddenly serious situation.

So, his father proceeded to tell him that this girl probably just really likes him because he's smart and handsome but they are just friends and that he doesn't want him trying to kiss or hug her. He goes on to say they are too young to be talking about love and just be her friend and play together like he does with everyone else. I thought that was a good answer until my husband started talking about all the little girls who adored him in school when he was growing up too. If I weren't pregnant I probably would have taken a Valium (or two) and went to bed!

Pray for me!!

Enough Already

Okay, there is one downfall to having a child that's so smart. Sometimes they are too smart. I mean smart as in shut-your-mouth-before-I-have-to-slap-you-in-it smart.

I subscribe to the 65-35 method of parenting. 65% old school and 35% new school. I realize that we are living in a totally different time than when I was a child but at the same time there are some things that will never change:

1. Children have no business in grown folks business!
2. Children should not talk back and/or disrespect their parents.
3. No negotiating with children. It makes them think they have the upper hand.
4. No telling children to do something 3 and 4 times.
5. Spankings help children see their options a lot more clearly.

I incorporate these old stand-by's into my daily parenting routine because of the simple fact that I have a FOUR YEAR OLD asking me questions like, "Why do we have to always do everything you want?" "Why can't I get to choose when I go to bed?"

I have NO patience for stuff like that!! I suppose I could get down on his level and say something like "because Mommy knows what's best for you" or "because Mommy wants you to get your rest". But I prefer that old adage "BECAUSE I SAID SO". You give these kids an inch they want to take a mile! I don't want to set a precedent that everything is up for discussion!

I don't know if it's hormones or what but me and my little MISTER have been bumping heads a lot lately. I've got to nip this in the bud with the quickness before Baby Girl's arrival. So I have been known to walk around the house with a belt over my shoulder to let him know I mean business however I never get to use it ;-( because all it takes is one word from his father and he's scrambling and tripping over himself to straighten up his act!

I think that he will probably end up being a lawyer because not only does he ask questions- and I'm not talking about typical inquisitive kiddie questions- he ask questions directly related to him getting what he wants and he has already developed this ability to make you second guess your answers so that he can prove his point which is- THERE IS NO REASON I SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO GET MY WAY. I pray for him daily that he does not become a victim of a back hand from his hormonal mother. If he's starting this mess at FOUR. . .I'm thinking he better have a back up plan like where he can go and live by the time he's TEN because I ain't having it!

Momversation

I found this clip over at dooce.com (one of my guilty pleasures). I thought it was very interesting and although most of my experiences are from the perspective of a black woman I found myself wholeheartedly agreeing with these women on many different levels. I guess the one truism in life is, regardless to your race, motherhood and marriage ain't no joke!!

(Sorry about the Christina Aguilera commercial be patient it's worth the wait.)

The Greatest

My son and I have been left to our own devices since Thursday because my husband was out of town. We had a great weekend that consisted of "movie night" (we rented DVD's because my son confessed he doesn't like going to the movies, he's so strange), library day, shopping, pizza and games @ Gattitown, sleeping late and lounging in our pajamas all day Sunday.

I think I fell in love with him all over again this weekend. I simply cherish these days because he is such a sweet, smart, funny and just wonderful little human being. Everyday when I pray to God, one of the things I ask is that my son maintains some of those endearing qualities throughout his lifetime. And I pray that I remain strong and healthy enough to be positive influence to keep him on the right path.

Here are some of the priceless highlights from this weekend:

Me: (tickling him mercilessly) Now what are you gonna do, huh?
Him: (screaming in between fits of laughter) Stop, stop! No tickling!
Me: (I stop because I'm out of breath) Whatever, Egghead!
Him: (scrambling away from me) You said exactly what you are
Me: What?!
Him: What did you call me?
Me: Egghead.
Him: (laughing) That's exactly what you are (runs from room laughing)
Me: (mouth hanging open and thinking to myself- man, I'm gonna have to use that one!)
______________

Me: (giving him a vitamin) You've gotta take your vitamins so you can be big and strong
Him: (chewing it without complaint) So nobody will try to be a bully to me
Me: That's right, you let them know you are not the one!
Him: That's right, if somebody comes up to me and pushes me I'm gonna push them back and say, 'Not today, brother,' (but it totally sounded like BRUDDA).
Me: (laughing so hard I almost choked).

_____________

Me: So when your new baby brother or sister comes along, you are going to have to be in charge and show them how things work around here.
Him: Like the t.v.
Me: (laughing) Yes, but I'm mostly talking about the house rules.
Him: Like what?
Me: Like who's in charge, where things go, no whining, picking up after yourself, -
Him: Helping me clean up my room

Oh yeah, he is so ready to be a big brother! Ha ha!
_____________

Daddy will be back today and he was missed. He ran the Philadelphia Marathon in 32 degree weather in 4 hours 22 minutes. That is truly amazing to me! Twenty six miles?! Are you kidding me?! I couldn't have walked twenty six blocks! Hell, after two or three blocks in 32 degree weather I would have been dying!!

I'm really proud of him and can't wait to see him this evening. See, how absence makes the heart grow fonder. Now, if I could only get him to be gone for a week every month, I am more than certain we'd make it to ten years! :-)

Boo to You!!

Happy Halloween!!! I've posted a preview of the tonight's costume. . .what else would TheGenius be but a POWER RANGER?! He woke up at the crack of dawn this morning all excited because today is "pajama party" day at his school and he got to wear his "cool" Batman pajamas- two superheroes in one day?! Life doesn't get any better than that!

We sat together this morning and watched the sunrise since he woke up so early. I was late to work but who cares? That was a priceless, special moment. I know people say this and then go on love their other children just as much BUT as I was sitting watching the sunrise with my son, witnessing the wonder on his face and hearing the excitement in his voice as he talked about his upcoming party, I started thinking to myself, "there is no way this second child will be nearly as special and awesome as this one," I KNOW, I KNOW. . .that's horrible, right? But this new baby seriously has a tough act to follow so far.

I just hope and pray that baby number 2 arrives (God willing) healthy first and foremost but I also hope that we at least have another laid back, go with the flow kinda kid that just meshes with the family dynamic we've established. The last thing I need is a high maintenance, drama prince or princess. I seriously don't know if I'd be able to deal. My husband is super laid back and unflappable (for the most part) and I am about the most low-to no maintenance chick around. And usually when you give my son a choice to do something, go somewhere or wear something he says, "whatever you want me to do Mom," LOVE IT!! I just get this feeling that this baby is gonna come along and shake us up and mess up our little cocoon of comfort! Ha ha!

Anyway, enough of my baby bashing- already giving this unborn kid a complex! I hope all of you have a SAFE and Happy Halloween!!!

Mama's Boy

It's no secret that I love the fact that my son is a mama's boy. He told me the other day that I was his one true love! Of course this was after he asked me what that meant because Bruce Banner said it to Betty Ross on the Incredible Hulk. But I digress, despite our "love affair" I do realize there are times when I need to "turn him over" to his father for some tougher love and discipline. Being the little Pisces that he is, my son, is always looking for rationale. It's not enough to say to him, "because I said so," he wants to know WHY are you saying so and why is it not up for negotiation. He tries to play that game with me all day long but something in his father's tone let's him know that perhaps he should not have all the answers to life's questions at FOUR so, he backs down and does what he's told.

Now when it comes to him not feeling well is where I draw a line in the sand with my husband. It incenses me sometimes when he tells him to "shake it off" or tries to make me feel bad for "mothering" him when he feels bad. He says I take it too far and I MAKE him act like a baby. . .AH! The nerve!! For example, last week my son had an allergic reaction to soap that contained perfume and dye (don't ask) - his entire body broke out into a rash and he was miserable. He was itching ALL OVER. We gave him Benadryl and lathered him in Cortisone and Calamine but the relief was not instant. So, there were times- not even that often- that he would take his nubby little fingers and start a scratch fest (he has NO NAILS because he's starting to bite them again). My husband would chastise him saying he was going to make it worse and not to scratch. The little Pisces says to him, "Daddy, if it itches I have to scratch." OK!

So, me being the mother that I am, hating to see him suffer through any discomfort no matter how small, I had the bright idea to take a sponge that was for the most part soft but it had just enough texture to provide relief if you rubbed it over your itching body. I took off his shirt and proceeded to give him a rub down with the sponge. My husband came UNGLUED! He actually said what I was doing was GAY and that I was going to turn my son into a marshmallow.

If I wasn't so pissed when he said it I probably would have laughed because he sounded so damned stupid. I proceeded to yell, "HE IS FOUR AND HE IS ITCHING!" Gimme a break, I'm nine times his age and if I was itching I'd want to scratch too! I never pegged my husband as homophobic and I happen to know for a fact he had a sappy relationship with his mom, God rest her soul, so I don't know why he's trippin'! I think that my son needs and deserves equal parts NURTURING and discipline. I don't want him growing up to be some cold, heartless, MAN because of the idiotic notions that his dad is unconsciously planting in his head. Hubby and I need to have a serious heart to heart because this morning my son told me, "Men don't cry,". I proceeded to tell him he's NOT a man yet and that REAL men do cry if they are hurt. I want him to be a strong, righteous, noble, man who is not afraid to be in touch with his feelings because of some bullshit societal rules that are imposed on him.

Besides as much as I love him and want to protect and nurture him I KNOW when it's time to put the hammer down and get tough and trust me my son, knows when he's pushed THAT button. But for the most part I just love him, nurture him, teach him, hug him, kiss, show him right from wrong and just try to enjoy each day with him DRAMA FREE. Because ten years from now if he's getting into all kinds of trouble he will NEVER be able to say he didn't get enough love or hugs from his mama!

Eight is Enough

My new guilty pleasure is watching the show Jon & Kate plus 8 on TLC. OMG! Have you seen this show? There’s this couple, Jon & Kate, who started off with twin girls and they wanted one more baby and ended up having SEXTUPLETS! Yep, that’s SIX kids, three girls and three boys. So, now they have EIGHT kids! The twins are 8 and the ‘tuplets are 4. Straight madness!!!

But the thing that intrigues me is how freaking “calm” Kate seems to be despite the fact that she has EIGHT kids under the age of ten!!! She appears to be a typical mom, cooking, cleaning, playing around, teaching, loving and disciplining her kids. But did I mention she has EIGHT kids. I refuse to believe she is not on drugs. Valium, Paxil, marijuana. . .SOMETHING! I have ONE child and from time to time I just want to turn up the Nyquil bottle.

I know there’s probably some extra’s on hand helping out or something- there has to be. But typically when they show Jon and Kate going somewhere alone (which is hella rare) her sister, Jodi takes care of all EIGHT kids plus Jodi (I think that’s her name) takes care of her own four kids. That’s a total of TWELVE kids!!! AGH!!! My sister would be like, “Um, I gotta wash my hair, I’m not gonna be able to watch them-ever!”.

But what I love most about the show is the REAL relationship between Jon and Kate. There is no pretense. She told him the other day, I love you but sometimes I can’t stand you. And he smiled and said, “The feeling is mutual”. Ha ha! I mean I think I’d be pretty bitter too if I didn’t leave well enough alone with TWO kids and then to have SIX more! I swear if my son would have been a twin I would have been like, “Okay, tie up my tubes right now!” She’s also prone to giving him “love taps” across the head every time he makes a sarcastic comment, which he does quite often.

Another endearing thing about the show is the close relationship between the kids. One episode had Jon taking the boys on a “boys only’ excursion and the little sisters all came over and hugged them and gave them kisses and told them to have fun. It was the cutest thing! I was sure they probably staged it but they all seem to be very affectionate towards each other that is when they’re not throwing toys and antagonizing each other. Even the older girls, Cara and Maddy seem to be taking all the chaos in stride.

Jon and Kate did this thing that I thought was pretty cool but I wonder how often they will be able to do this- each kid had their own special day where they were they got to spend time wherever they wanted with their parents ALONE. So, it was like they were an only child for a few hours and Jon and Kate got to imagine how life would be if they only had one kid.

I guess the reason I really like the show so much is because it takes parenting to a whole new level and it helps me to put things in perspective. My house is a calm, peaceful, RETREAT in comparison to the daily pandemonium that household!

Swimming Pool Safety

So far this year, 24 children have drowned in the Houston area. The majority of these children were minorities. Statistics show that six out of ten black children cannot swim and 56% of Hispanics cannot swim.

If you own a pool, live near a pool or your children come in contact with a pool it is extremely important that you teach them pool safety and never leave them unattended. It is also a common misconception that just because a child can swim they are not in danger of drowning. In addition to having skill in the water they need to also follow safety tips such as no horseplay around the pool where they are likely to slip and hit their heads, no horseplay in the water especially as it involves actions that could cause them to take in a lot of water into their nose and no diving into the pool from the shallow end.

As a parent if your child spends a lot of time in or around a pool you should consider becoming certified in CPR and make sure to always keep rescue equipment (such as lifesavers) nearby. Also, remove any toys from around the pool or in the water that might lure young children. The best pools to frequent are those that have a certified lifeguard on duty.

USA Swimming has started a program called Make a Splash to help children, specifically minority children learn to swim. One of the programs biggest supporters is a young black man named Cullen Jones. The 24 year old professional swimmer will be competing in the Beijing Olympics this year. At the 2008 Olympic swimming trials, Jones broke the American record in the 50 meter freestyle with a time of 21.59.

Learning to swim is definitely a plus when it comes to pool safety however it does not guarantee that a child will not drown if they are not careful in the water. Make sure your children are smart and safe while they enjoy cooling off this summer!

The Red Table

The Red Table is where children who don't pay attention in my son's preschool class have to sit and think about their transgressions. My son has been a frequent resident of The Red Table lately. We want him to know it's not acceptable but at the same time it's almost inevitable when you have a preschool class full of 4 year old boys who are constantly playing Power Rangers, karate and Incredible Hulk vs. Spiderman; they will get side tracked from time to time. Especially now that it is summer time and they aren't following a strict school curriculum and everyday is a themed fun day like bubble day, swim day, pajama day, etc.

But regardless to the lack of structure over the summer he still needs listen to his teacher so, my husband and I have resorted to threatening him with no toys or television if he goes to The Red Table. But I get the feeling he's past the point of dreading his fate because he already knows staying away from The Red Table will be a struggle. In the mornings if you ask him if he's going to The Red Table he says, "I'm going to try not to," The other day while he was in the bathtub we had the following conversation:

ME: If you hurry up and wash up you can catch the last Oswald show before bed.

HIM: Is it a new show I never saw before?

ME: I don't know.

HIM: (seriously thinking) Hmm. . .well, Daddy told me if I go to The Red Table I can't watch my shows on t.v. so, maybe next time.

My mouth was hanging open (as it usually does when I'm dealing with Mr. Four going on Forty) because I didn't know he had gone to The Red Table but I think mainly because he was being so "compliant".

Another "punishment" for going to The Red Table was to write I will not go to the red table (actually the word "the" was left off by dad) on a full sheet of paper. When I got home from work he was all excited because he was writing "I will not got to red table" and he was making such perfect letters.

So, bottom line he tries his best (according to him) not to go to The Red Table but the wicked forces at work in his preschool class are often against him so he just accepts his fate and takes his sentence like a four year old.

Just the Two of Us

My son spent the weekend with my aunt and for the first time in four years my husband and I were the only occupants in our house for more than 24 hours. Usually if he stays with my aunt or my sister is because we’re out of town or he will be gone just over night.
But this time we dropped him off Saturday and he won’t be home until tonight.

It was the weirdest feeling. My husband and I both remarked that it felt like something was missing. He is such a huge part of our lives and when he’s home there is constant noise, hustle and bustle. But for an entire day it was just the two of us. I think so often when you get married and have children your marriage becomes more about parenting than anything else. The kids are at the forefront of your conversations and a big part of your social outings. They become your “life” on a lot of different levels.

That’s why I think it is very important that parents allow themselves some alone time (whether you are single or married) to reconnect with the person you were before your children came into your life. Granted, I know for some people their children saved their lives and they wouldn’t want to go back to the person they were but I guess what I’m trying to say is get in touch with who YOU are and the things you like and what you want to do. Because our children are only ours for a brief time; when it’s all said and done we will have to let them go so they can live their own lives.

My husband and I enjoyed the peace and tranquility of our house and we spent the entire day together shopping for furniture and groceries. Although we missed our son, it was great to spend some quality time together. He will return tonight and our family routine will happily resume and we will probably wonder how we got along with out him.

You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry

My son has developed a fascination with the Incredible Hulk. He has never seen the television show (the reruns actually come on some random cable channel), nor the movies or even a cartoon.

He did however see a commercial one time and a coloring book so, he understands when the guy is mad (usually because he’s picked on) he turns into the Hulk. Whenever I pull out the camera he wants to do an Incredible Hulk pose. Whenever we play a “game” it involves him being the Incredible Hulk. And the other day he wanted me to find him an Incredible Hulk game on the computer.

As you can imagine I’ve had my fill of the Incredible Hulk!!! That is until I witnessed him turn into the Hulk. My husband left a Gatorade bottle on the living room floor (don’t ask) so, when I walked into the living I pretended to trip over the bottle and fall on the floor (seriously, I was just playing, ain’t no shame in my game if I would have fallen I’d admit it, like that time I was in the Jamaica, or when I was walking to catch my bus. . .) anyway, I do a pratfall and call out for help.

My son was in our bedroom with my husband and is the first to arrive on the scene. “Mama, what happened are you okay?” he asks. “Your daddy left this bottle on the floor and I tripped over it and fell,” I say with dramatic flair. “Daddy!” my son yells- because my concerned husband has not moved from the bed (he’s used to me falling). My son heads back to the room and meets my husband halfway with a GUT PUNCH!!!

He hit his daddy right above the belt as hard as he could and said, “You made my mama fall! You should have put that bottle in the trash!”

I was stunned- so was his father. I laughed- his father did not. I think it’s awesome that he defends me and so does my husband but he doesn’t like to be on the receiving end of the beat downs. My son was given a stern talking to by his father and I suggested that he just not hit so hard. . . . . of course I missed the whole point. . .or did I?

What He Said

Much respect to all the phenomenal mother's and father's out there! I love this piece from Def Poetry Jam by Jon Goode entitled, "Barbara" and ode to his old school, no nonsense mother. Priceless!

Warning: May contain offensive language

Get Moving

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about making some life changes. The number one thing I need to do is commit to getting healthy for life instead of just losing weight and going on diets every time I have an event to attend or a vacation coming up. I need to start eating healthier and exercising daily. I feel so much more energized when I exercise on the regular and it seems the older I get my ability to drop 7 to 10 pounds within a couple of weeks is starting to diminish. My metabolism is almost at a screeching halt.

Not to mention I want to be around and healthy for a long time to come- my son is only four, I can’t afford to be falling a part. I’ve got to be around to cheer him on at his college graduation! I think I’m going to meet with a nutritionist and set up a plan for healthy eating, I’m also going to start walking in the downtown tunnels at lunch coupled with working out two days a week at the Y, and 15 minutes of yoga in the mornings.

Adopting a healthy lifestyle is a great thing that parents should do not only for themselves but for their kids. In this high tech/computer and video game era we live in childhood obesity is at an all time high. But parents have the power to help change their children’s sedentary routine and dependency on snacks high in fat and sugar. When children grow practicing healthy eating habits and getting regular exercise they are more likely to continue these habits into adulthood. I’m fortunate because although I definitely need to step up my game when it comes to physical fitness, I am married to a runner and exercise enthusiast. My son is definitely influenced by his marathon running father and he participated in his first kid’s race a couple of weekends ago. He loves to run, play all kinds of sports and he gets daily exercise at school each morning, so I would say he’s off to a fairly good start. Now, if I could only get him to eat his broccoli and understand that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches do not constitute a well balanced meal!

My Son the Teacher

The other day my son and I were coloring pages in his coloring book and I flipped to the cover to see how the characters looked to make sure I colored them just right. My son asked, "What are you doing?" I replied, "Looking to see what color Tyrone's shirt is supposed to be," He stopped coloring looked at me and said, "Mama, use your imagination it can be any color you want it to be. You don't have to do it like everybody else,"

My mouth hung open. It hung open even wider when I asked, "Who told you that," his reply: "You did,"

Wow. Not only does he listen to me but apparently I am a hypocrite who doles out advice but doesn't follow it. Several people have been quoted in various languages I'm sure about the importance of walking the talk and action speaking louder than words. I wonder then how often I send my son mixed messages. I'm always telling him to try his best meanwhile I complain that I'm not getting anything accomplished. Am I trying my best?

A simple activity like coloring served as the wake up call I desperately needed. I can't expect my son to take anything I say seriously if I'm not following my own rules and advice. Starting today I pledge to arm him with information to help him on his journey and to also practice what I preach so, that I can have positive examples to SHOW him when he questions whether or not mama know what she's talking about.

Mama 24/7/365

The other day someone complimented me on my book and said my son was lucky to have me as a mother. Someone else made a similar comment when I shared a Spiderman morphed picture of my son that we made on the computer.

While I appreciate the compliments and I do think I'm a phenomenal mama (ha ha!) I have to admit I was a bit puzzled. I thought ALL mother's did similar things for their children. Okay maybe not writing a book but surely I'm not the only mother who plays games that involve pretending to be a superhero, or draws pictures that are not complete until they are decorated with paint, glitter and toothpicks. Am I the only one who reads books that require using four different character voices? Does anyone else run through the house screaming like a banshee as you try to beat your child to the imaginary "finish line"? How about sitting down on the couch to engage in a quiet conversation about their day. I seriously doubt I am the only mother that does these things.

I actually look forward to doing these things and most of them are MY idea! I'm trying to provide balance in my son's life. His father shows him how to hit a baseball, hold his breath underwater, do things in the yard and sometimes he helps wash the cars and take out the trash. But I think it is important that he not only use his muscle but also his mind.

I also force him to play by himself because he is an only child and I think it will not only help him strengthen his imagination but also allow him to get used to his own company. I don't know if I could handle a high maintenance child that needed constant attention and entertainment. Bottom line he will only have one childhood and I want him to enjoy every aspect of it. I want him to have amazing experiences as well as a strong foundation that will guide him from adolescence to adulthood.

And the Winner Is. . .

My son has developed a serious competitive streak at the age of four. I don't know if it's "hereditary" (his father is ridiculously competitive) or if it's a boy thing. But he ALWAYS wants to win. And when he wins he gloats about it, "Oh, yeah I won, I won," and when he loses it's more like, "No fair, I wasn't ready, you cheated,"

So we have stopped letting him win at games to help him cope with reality and the fact that there will always be someone bigger, stronger or better but you never give up and always try your best. Now, when he loses we make him shake the winner's hand and say, "Good job," and he adds, "But I'm going to win next time," Baby steps.

He received a trophy at the end of T-Ball season and he was beyond ecstatic to get his first trophy and although everyone on the team got a trophy he said, "Look what I won," Geesh.

I want to make sure he strives for excellence throughout his life but I don't want him to think life is over if he doesn't come in first and I'm not just talking about sports or games. I'm talking life in general- school, work, relationships, etc. When you give 100% and never give up then that automatically makes you a winner regardless to whether or not you take home the trophy. (Yeah, I know but it sure does feel good ;-)

Nightmares in the Night

Last night as I lay in a peaceful slumber I felt a small hand pulling at my arm. I awoke (@ 3:15am!) to find my son had made his way downstairs in the dark and was trying to pull himself up into our bed. When asked what was wrong he said he had a bad dream so, I helped him up and he wedged himself between me and his father.

I started to drift off again and was awaken when he sat up in the bed and announced, "Mama, I never want to go to the park again,". "Huh?" I asked groggily. "Monkeys are shooting people in the park in my dream," he said. What?! My husband woke up and realized he was in the bed and I tell him about the pistol packing primates in the park. We assure him that there will be no monkey's shooting people in the park and he eventually falls asleep. But then I lay awake wondering where in the hell did that come from?!

He is not allowed to watch movies with violence especially shooting, he has never had a toy gun, we have not watched or witnessed anything with monkeys lately and the last time we went to the park was two weeks ago. VERY BIZARRE. Me being the paranoid schizo that I am wonder if this is a premonition and we should avoid parks in the near future or if perhaps there is some monkeying around going on at his school. Hmmm.

My Son the Klepto

(I was supposed to post this yesterday but between the exorcism and intervention I was a little busy!)

Yesterday after having such a wonderful two hour session of ME TIME, I went to pick my son up from school. When we get in the car he is so excited to show me a toy in his pocket. I have never seen the toy before. Here's how the conversation goes:

Me: Where did you get that?

Him: School.

Me: Did your teacher tell you that you could bring that home.

Him: Yes.

Me: Which teacher?

Him: Miss S

Me: Let me go ask her.

Him: NO!! (As he cowers on the floor of the back seat in the car)

So, I proceed to peel him from the floor and march back in the school to ask the teacher if she in fact said he could take the toy home. Of course, she had NOT. I made him put the toy back in the toy box and yanked him out of the classroom.

I chastised him all the way home about the evils of stealing and how one day he could end up in jail for taking stuff that doesn't belong to him. At the end of my ranting he says, "I should have just asked," DUH! I was still so disgusted- wait let me back up- did I mention this was NOT the first time he's done this?! This is like the second time he's been caught. Anyway, when we got home I swatted his butt a couple of times (so light he probably didn't even know it happened) and then I made him go to his room. He acted as if he were a dead man walking and started crying uncontrollably.

After listening to him for ten minutes I went upstairs and gave him a stern talking to. This little boy is honestly- SPOILED. He has gotten pretty much whatever he's wanted in his short time on Earth and I don't even want to get into the insane amount of stuff he gets from family every Christmas. There are toys that are unopened that I've hidden from him! There is absolutely, positively NO REASON whatsoever for him to be taking stuff that does not belong to him! My dilemma now is sharing this news with his father. . .he might have to put on an orange jumpsuit!

I've heard some people say that this is typical for this age or that it's harmless but I'm sorry I can't treat it that way. He needs to know in no uncertain terms that if he even THINKS about doing this again life as he knows it will change drastically. I swear on everything I will box up ALL his toys and give them away to a shelter! First comes stealing, then smoking cigarettes, gambling and making homemade bombs in his room! This madness must be nipped in the bud now!

I think what it boils down to is feeling like he can have whatever he wants because this has -to some degree-been his reality. . .well, reality is about to get checked!


Disclaimer: That picture is at 7 months old. . .in 2004.