Blogger Is Evil

Okay, I have to rant a minute and post this random entry because I am totally paranoid that someone read my last post before it was edited and they are laughing and pointing at the screen saying, "SHE THINKS SHE CAN BE A WRITER?"

The unedited post was full of stupid typos and I was trying to fix a problem with the DIV tags when the post was automatically PUBLISHED! Yikes. If anyone read that unedited rubbish, I am truly sorry for abusing the English language. It has been fixed.

That is all.

(And now my template is screwed up. . .is the sidebar is gone? Is it just ME? WTH?!)

Friday the 13th: Looking for better luck!

Okay, so here' s goes my um. . .weekly post. I know I lied but I did try. I tried to keep up with the blog and tried to keep it relevant just like I've been trying to keep motivated at work, engaged with my son and enchanted with my husband. That last one has been tough considering dude was working my nerves for a about a month or so at the end of the year!

At any rate, I've felt like a major failure on all fronts. Of course I'm thinking a good idea is to totally blame EVERYTHING on this pregnancy. I didn't do it all with my first pregnancy (I was like ridiculously calm and energetic) so I figure I'm going to milk this excuse until this kid is at least TWO! Ha ha!

Anyway, my life is back to feeling like I'm being tossed around in a food processor at high speed. This month, this short little month of February, I have SEVEN of my family members- close family members (hubby, mom, both/only nieces, uncle, only aunt and step daughter) who have birthdays- three of which are milestones (16, 18 & 60). Everybody is having a party or celebration that requires my attendance and there are only FOUR weekends in the month. You do the math.

Then March rolls around and that first week my son turns 5 and is having a party on the 7th. Then I've been told a baby shower is being planned for me on the 14th. That leaves FOUR short weeks until Bambino Number 2 makes her debut. Oh, but wait in between that time I have a presentation due for school AND a ginormous project at work that I've just been told is expected to be completed before I go on maternity leave.

And on top of all of this my laptop is out of commission. . .I have been forced to use the antiquated desktop in our game room that is temperamental as hell. But the best part of my week was being sick- I'm talking complete with throwing up soup (sorry I know that's TMI)- for most of this week. Fevers, night sweats the whole nine. Just some random bacterial thing going around. My son was down for the count also so, I'm blaming those snotty nosed kids at his school! No, really I'm blaming their parents- I never send my son to school if he's really sick, i.e, has a FEVER of 100.9 or higher. Everyone knows or should know if a kid is running a fever they are more than likely infectious/contagious and can make other kids sick!

Ah, but I digress. . .or not, this started off as a rambling post and I guess it's best to finish it that way. Tomorrow is my husbands b-day, yep he's a Valentine's Baby. His defense when I tell him he's being a little too touchy-feely- he says he can't help it because number one I'm so irresistible (yeah, me and these extra 24 pounds) and he was born on the day of love. O. . K. I bought him this gadget from the Apple Store that he's been wanting and my son and I plan on making heart shaped cookies. I know the restaurants will be a mess tomorrow but it's been kind of a tradition to go to Pappasito's every year so, I guess we'll get started early.

Hope everyone has a great Valentine's Day! And be careful not to let any black cats cross your path tonight! Although it might have the opposite effect on luck for me. . .

Confused

I am confused about something. Why is it when some people decide life is not worth living anymore they also make that decision for others? I seriously don’t understand the murder-suicide phenomenon. I hate my life so much that not only am I going to kill myself but I don’t want you to live either so, I guess I hate your life too???

I mean if a person is so determined to end their life then DO IT and claim that one way ticket to hell. But by all means don’t take other folks with you! I was shocked to hear about the man in L.A. who killed his family and then himself. How in the hell do you kill FIVE little children, your wife and then yourself? Because he got laid off (I think his wife also lost her job). Sorry if this sounds crass but if he really wanted to turn a selfish act into a selfless act he should have found away to terminate his life that would appear to be an “accident” and then perhaps his family could have collected some type of insurance policy. I’m just sayin’. . .

The other thing that shocked me is that this was a BLACK man. Surely he was aware there were other options. Was he that proud or just an idiot? I’m thinking the latter. I have had some low points in my life, which when you really think about it is what makes life well. . .life. You have peaks and valleys. It’s never perfect and there are ALWAYS tests of strength, will and faith that you have to get through and I guess it’s true that only the strongest survive. The weak apparently take their lives (and the lives of others) because they figure it’s easier. Like I said, I’ve had some low points but NEVER, EVER, NEVER would I ever kill myself.

In all honesty I can say that I’ve thought about what “life” would be without me. Would I be missed? But those thoughts always had to do with me either never having been born or dying of some natural cause. I can barely swallow those big ass prenatal vitamins so I know I couldn’t take any pills. I would never try to shoot myself because what if my aim is slightly off and I become paralyzed instead? And why in the world would someone stick a knife in their chest over and over? I like to think I have a high tolerance for pain but come on. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

Life is already short enough and regardless to how much we dread it or even fight it the fact is we will ALL die someday anyway- why hurry along the process. Find the light, the love and the goodness in life and enjoy it while you can. Sorrow don't last always. . .

Role Play

Okay, remember when I was ranting about the roles we play in marriages? Well, I almost went ballistic last night when my husband starting making snide comments about ME not cooking. Then he did the ULTIMATE and started to mention how his mother, God rest her soul, used to work full time and still managed to cook a hot meal every night.

First of all, I think I startled the entire neighborhood when I yelled, "I ain't yo mama!" Second of all, she had EIGHT kids! And I'm thinking at some point one of them should have been old enough to put some chicken in the oven. Apparently the lady had Julia Child aspirations.

I will be the first to admit my son could probably benefit from a lot more nutritious meals but one thing is for certain he eats EVERY night! Let's get that straight first. Now, regarding me being Suzy Homemaker. There was a time for a couple of years after we were married that I would come home after working 8 hours at a job that I HATED ( complete with a 1 1/2 hour commute one way) but endured because my salary was CRUCIAL to our household (still is) and I would cook a delicious, hot meal. I'm talking a meat and two sides! Sometimes dessert!

But as time marched on it seemed it went from being appreciated to expected. The number one thing I hate about cooking is that not only do I prepare the meal but folks sit down at the table and want you to bring them a plate and then I have to clean up the kitchen too?!?!? Oh, HELLLLL no! I found the kitchen stays a lot cleaner when nothing is cooked in it. Ha ha!

Seriously, can we step in to the new millennium DEAR HUSBAND? I mean I do work full time, my commute is about 35 to 45 minutes longer than yours, I go to school (taking THREE classes), I'm preggers, trying to be the best mommy I can be to our son and you think I'm gonna come home (when you're already at home) and start frying chicken and snapping peas?? Baby, I regret to inform you that you married the wrong woman. So sorry. No refunds.

I think I should probably call and tell him to stop and get a burger on his way home tonight. . .or he is more than welcomed to hook up a big pot of spaghetti tonight- he actually makes it better than me. So, what's really going on? I guess because he cuts the grass and changes the oil in the cars, boiling spaghetti is just asking too damn much.

When you stop by the Burger Shack tonight be sure to hold the onions and mayo on mine!

Dead Wrong

No, I am not referring to my post from yesterday, although hubby was way too sweet yesterday when he got home. Don't know if it's because he was leaving to go out of town for four days or because he read the post. . . .

Anyway, why did I go to Subway for lunch today and see this unsupervised little Hispanic boy around 3-years old hanging out at the door as people were leaving the restaurant. Seriously every time someone left he all but followed them as if he were trying to hitch a ride home.

I go into Subway and he is running all over the place. As I am in line I notice a woman, who I assume is his mother, get him and promptly place him in a booth between her and another lady. OMG! He starts screaming bloody murder. His voice was literally echoing off the walls and irritating the shit out of everyone in the place. So, his "mother" allows him to get down and continue his running rampage with every stranger he encountered.

As I am paying for my sandwich I notice the person sitting across from this woman and another woman has on a Subway uniform. So, I think they must be friend's of this Subway employee and they are visiting her at lunch.

Unt-uh. I go to get my drink from the fountain machine and I see a JOB APPLICATION on the table between them. This woman is on a freaking INTERVIEW with her kid wrecking havoc everywhere! When I passed by I couldn't help but give the Subway MANAGER a look of disapproval when she says to the woman, "Can you start Saturday?"

That is why customer service in minimum wage paying service industries is so BAD!! I don't care if you are interviewing to be the person who scrapes gum from under the table at McDonald's- you should always be PROFESSIONAL! Proper attire, knowledgeable about the position and you come ALONE!!! What in the HELL! And as a manager doesn't that lady realize she is hiring someone who apparently has BABYSITTING ISSUES?!?!?

It would be funny if it wasn't so doggone SAD! I mean I can appreciate the fact that she is trying to get a job but why couldn't her "friend" or whoever the other lady was sitting with her, stay in the car with that little boy or push him around in a basket at Target next door until the interview was over?!?!

That's a big part of what's wrong with this country- mediocrity is accepted and common sense is overlooked!

My Son the Klepto

(I was supposed to post this yesterday but between the exorcism and intervention I was a little busy!)

Yesterday after having such a wonderful two hour session of ME TIME, I went to pick my son up from school. When we get in the car he is so excited to show me a toy in his pocket. I have never seen the toy before. Here's how the conversation goes:

Me: Where did you get that?

Him: School.

Me: Did your teacher tell you that you could bring that home.

Him: Yes.

Me: Which teacher?

Him: Miss S

Me: Let me go ask her.

Him: NO!! (As he cowers on the floor of the back seat in the car)

So, I proceed to peel him from the floor and march back in the school to ask the teacher if she in fact said he could take the toy home. Of course, she had NOT. I made him put the toy back in the toy box and yanked him out of the classroom.

I chastised him all the way home about the evils of stealing and how one day he could end up in jail for taking stuff that doesn't belong to him. At the end of my ranting he says, "I should have just asked," DUH! I was still so disgusted- wait let me back up- did I mention this was NOT the first time he's done this?! This is like the second time he's been caught. Anyway, when we got home I swatted his butt a couple of times (so light he probably didn't even know it happened) and then I made him go to his room. He acted as if he were a dead man walking and started crying uncontrollably.

After listening to him for ten minutes I went upstairs and gave him a stern talking to. This little boy is honestly- SPOILED. He has gotten pretty much whatever he's wanted in his short time on Earth and I don't even want to get into the insane amount of stuff he gets from family every Christmas. There are toys that are unopened that I've hidden from him! There is absolutely, positively NO REASON whatsoever for him to be taking stuff that does not belong to him! My dilemma now is sharing this news with his father. . .he might have to put on an orange jumpsuit!

I've heard some people say that this is typical for this age or that it's harmless but I'm sorry I can't treat it that way. He needs to know in no uncertain terms that if he even THINKS about doing this again life as he knows it will change drastically. I swear on everything I will box up ALL his toys and give them away to a shelter! First comes stealing, then smoking cigarettes, gambling and making homemade bombs in his room! This madness must be nipped in the bud now!

I think what it boils down to is feeling like he can have whatever he wants because this has -to some degree-been his reality. . .well, reality is about to get checked!


Disclaimer: That picture is at 7 months old. . .in 2004.

Somebody Has To Say It

Why are school resources for pre-k and summer school programs in Texas being allocated mainly for children who speak English as a second language? And only one group is being benefiting from these programs- Hispanics.

You know how Anglo folks do before they say something disparaging about blacks, "Some of my best friends are black," Well, truthfully some of my dearest friends are Hispanic. However they were born and raised in this country and are entitled to the same benefits as any American and like any other American they pay taxes and can't stand the current President.

I am referring more to the illegal immigrant population whose children are born here and are automatic citizens by default yet their parents don't speak the language or pay taxes (not paying taxes upsets me more than anything, I don't want to pay taxes EITHER!). Because there is such a large population of these children entering school unprepared I feel the school districts are in a way discriminating against other groups of people by excluding anyone who doesn't speak English as a second language- in America? Are you serious?

I could go on and on 'til the break of dawn but I will stop myself. I just had to put it out in the Universe after a conversation I had with a co-worker who says the school district where she lives has gone STRICTLY to non-English speaking pre-k students only. The other criteria used to be if you were below a certain income level but now, if you can speak English they feel you already have an "advantage" and you can wait to start kindergarten. . .where no doubt the teacher will still be focused on getting those students with "language challenges" up to speed.

I wonder if I go Mexico will they let my son in to Pre-K?

Blowing off Steam

God forgive me for over sleeping and being at the computer instead of church.
Amen.

Kim Wayans used play a character on In Living Color named Ms. Bonita, the neighborhood gossip monger. She talked about everybody but when people started talking about her favorite person, Ms. Jenkins. She would get upset and start proclaiming, "Nobody bet not say nothing bad about Ms. Jenkins!" as if Ms. Jenkins was beyond reproach.

I use that point of reference as I start into a story from yesterday. First of all contrary to the way it may appear on this blog I do not proclaim to believe that my son is perfect. Not by any stretch of the imagination. He is four and he behaves like a four year old. He is past the age of throwing tantrums but he still does things that he has no business doing -like pushing a chair in front of the sink turning on the water and transferring water and a BUNCH of dish washing liquid from cup to cup and then perching them on the edge of the counter where they inevitably fall to the floor creating a pool in the kitchen, when asked why he did it he shrugged his shoulders and said, "I was making lemonade,".

He tunes my husband and I completely out when he's watching t.v. and often times I have to do the whole "don't let me count to three" thing to get him moving a little faster. But there are some non-negotiables like I've mentioned before- you do not talk back or yell at your mother that is daddy's number one rule and failure to comply has ended up in spankings (probably 3 in four years) and punishment (no television all day, no toys and remanded to his room). So, again I recognize that I am dealing with a typical kid.

But make no mistake about it when we are out in public my son knows how to act. I'm sorry if there are doubters out there who don't believe it but it's true. Besides that is where I draw the line- I am not going to be embarrassed by a four year old who appears to have me on a string like a puppet- that's where my "old school" mentality comes out and trust me he knows when mama is serious. When I am away from him he knows that the adults that I have entrusted to take care of him are in charge. They have my unspoken permission to discipline him if he gets out of line.

Having said all this- whew- yesterday I was totally pissed off when an elder in my family "chastised" him without provocation. There was a birthday party/baby shower for a cousin and kids were in attendance although they were all in another room playing together. However my son, the mama's boy, was underfoot the entire time. He was not running, yelling, crying, disruptive, or anything else. He was just being my shadow. At one point I was taking a picture and I had the camera on a strap around my neck and when I let go of the camera it hit him in the head. He grabbed his head and said, "ow'. I picked him up and kissed the spot and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't see you," From ACROSS the room comes this comment: "That's because he needs to sit his ass down somewhere," And suddenly the room was quiet. My cousin knew I was about to spew some disrespectful vulgarities, so she immediately starting opening another present and oohing and aahing.

I on the other hand forced my child (who was convinced he had did something wrong) to sit as still as a statue until my cousin opened her last present and I bounced. I know that to some perhaps his presence was irritating being that he was the only child physically in the room the entire time but that comment was still- in my opinion- unwarranted. Or maybe, I'm acting like Ms. Bonita and not wanting anyone to say a word against my son?

I have to add before I sign off that had this been any other party/shower that was aimed at only adults or women there is NO WAY my son would have been there. I am not that mama who drags their children to every event invited or not. First of all, I was told it was okay if he came since my husband had to work, secondly it was a "CPT" affair that was set to start at 4:00pm and didn't officially get started until almost 6:00pm not to mention it was hotter than hades in the house. The entire affair was busted from the jump so to make it appear my son was disturbing the mood was just unfair.

This is Bonita Jenkins signing off. . .