It was not my intention to evoke images of Compton's Most Wanted and all of their jheri curl splendor. . .instead this post is supposed to be about creative expression, which I'm sure N.W.A. would argue that it's exactly what their song is about.
I am facing extreme burnout with "corporate America". Seriously, I am so ova all of the policies, procedures and politics. I really want to find a way to pursue my passions without having to give up something critical like shelter or my iPhone.
I have been a closet writer for roughly 28 years. I should have published about 10 books and had something optioned as a movie by now! But I've mostly kept my writing to myself as an outlet for the myriad of thoughts and ideas running rampant in my head!
Okay confession: I haven't exactly kept them all to myself- I may or may not have published quiet a few stories on a fanfiction site that shall remain nameless. It's actually my guilty pleasure. It's not that I'm ashamed of the writing, it's actually pretty good, if I must say so myself it's just that well- I'm more embarrassed than ashamed because I've written some pretty *cough* raunchy stuff. So, I use a pseudonym and maintain an anonymous relationship with my readers and reviewers. That way I don't have to lower my head and avoid making eye contact with people I actually know.
BUT I have been working on some actual stories- as in plural- which is part of my problem. It's like I have ADHD and once I get started on one story another idea pops in my head and I'm off to start another story. . .what was I talking about? Oh yeah, I'm working on actual stories and am committing myself to actually completing one within the next year that I can present to an agent and hopefully get some representation that will allow me to start querying publishers.
In all honesty, I would LOVE to see one of my stories made into a movie. I usually approach my writing that way, visualizing each paragraph or chapter as it would appear frame by frame in a movie. In addition to writing I also have this concept for producing educational materials (books and videos specifically) that feature children of color. I already have a name and even a logo/mascot that I own. Ain't he cute :-)
I've also been doing some blog banners, Photoshop editing and playing around with Dreamweaver. My mind is in total creative mode right now and it just sucks that I don't have enough time to really dedicate to the stuff that I really love doing (other than being a mommy ;-). But I'm making moves. . . I've got some schemes and plans that will hopefully have me unchained before the end of 2011. Because I honestly feel like I'm drowning and I really want to break free from this abyss so that I can soar among the clouds like God intended. Well, I'm sure he didn't literally mean for us to fly- that's why he created birds- but I mean he didn't put us here to be ordinary either.
I bid you adieu with this little gem (now I couldn't exactly play the N.W.A. version, this is a family oriented blog ;-)
Friday, March 27, 2009
Update
What I've been up to:
1. Final ultrasound appointment (it's still a girl) on March 16th at that point the baby weighed (estimated of course) 6 lbs 3 ounces with almost four weeks to go.
2. Family & friends baby shower March 21st. Not a lot of attendance but great gifts and great company. My cousin did the cutest party favors. . .a little poem about me having a bun in the oven on the front of these cute bags ties with cute ribbon and inside was a delicious honey bun.
3. SURPRISE baby shower at work March 25th and I got a TON of stuff!! The generosity that people show for wedding and baby showers has always amazed me. The little princess' closet is already full of clothes, diapers and wipes! PLUS I have like $250 in gift cards for Target and Babies R Us!
4. Doctor's appointment March 26th reveals I am THREE centimeters dilated already. My doctor was a no show so I saw one of her partners who tried to convince me to be induced on April 3rd. That's NEXT Friday! Ten whole days before April 13th. . .um no. I think I'm gonna pass on that offer.
5. I took three quizzes and finished three papers (one pagers) all last weekend in preparation for my impending childbirth. I have to go on campus for a quiz on April 1st and have yet to study!
6. My ankles and feet have been on SWOLE for almost three weeks! It's to the point now that I am wearing FLIP FLOPS to work! I have no other choice. . .I refuse to buy new larger, wider shoes to wear for two weeks and half weeks.
7. Finally, been sleeping on the couch for the last few nights because I cannot get comfortable in our bed. Sleeping on my back and side is not working and I can't sleep on my stomach so I pretty much sleep sitting up. Not very comfortable at all!!!
Yeah, just a TAD bit overwhelmed and TIRED.
1. Final ultrasound appointment (it's still a girl) on March 16th at that point the baby weighed (estimated of course) 6 lbs 3 ounces with almost four weeks to go.
2. Family & friends baby shower March 21st. Not a lot of attendance but great gifts and great company. My cousin did the cutest party favors. . .a little poem about me having a bun in the oven on the front of these cute bags ties with cute ribbon and inside was a delicious honey bun.
3. SURPRISE baby shower at work March 25th and I got a TON of stuff!! The generosity that people show for wedding and baby showers has always amazed me. The little princess' closet is already full of clothes, diapers and wipes! PLUS I have like $250 in gift cards for Target and Babies R Us!
4. Doctor's appointment March 26th reveals I am THREE centimeters dilated already. My doctor was a no show so I saw one of her partners who tried to convince me to be induced on April 3rd. That's NEXT Friday! Ten whole days before April 13th. . .um no. I think I'm gonna pass on that offer.
5. I took three quizzes and finished three papers (one pagers) all last weekend in preparation for my impending childbirth. I have to go on campus for a quiz on April 1st and have yet to study!
6. My ankles and feet have been on SWOLE for almost three weeks! It's to the point now that I am wearing FLIP FLOPS to work! I have no other choice. . .I refuse to buy new larger, wider shoes to wear for two weeks and half weeks.
7. Finally, been sleeping on the couch for the last few nights because I cannot get comfortable in our bed. Sleeping on my back and side is not working and I can't sleep on my stomach so I pretty much sleep sitting up. Not very comfortable at all!!!
Yeah, just a TAD bit overwhelmed and TIRED.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Friday the 13th: Looking for better luck!
Okay, so here' s goes my um. . .weekly post. I know I lied but I did try. I tried to keep up with the blog and tried to keep it relevant just like I've been trying to keep motivated at work, engaged with my son and enchanted with my husband. That last one has been tough considering dude was working my nerves for a about a month or so at the end of the year!
At any rate, I've felt like a major failure on all fronts. Of course I'm thinking a good idea is to totally blame EVERYTHING on this pregnancy. I didn't do it all with my first pregnancy (I was like ridiculously calm and energetic) so I figure I'm going to milk this excuse until this kid is at least TWO! Ha ha!
Anyway, my life is back to feeling like I'm being tossed around in a food processor at high speed. This month, this short little month of February, I have SEVEN of my family members- close family members (hubby, mom, both/only nieces, uncle, only aunt and step daughter) who have birthdays- three of which are milestones (16, 18 & 60). Everybody is having a party or celebration that requires my attendance and there are only FOUR weekends in the month. You do the math.
Then March rolls around and that first week my son turns 5 and is having a party on the 7th. Then I've been told a baby shower is being planned for me on the 14th. That leaves FOUR short weeks until Bambino Number 2 makes her debut. Oh, but wait in between that time I have a presentation due for school AND a ginormous project at work that I've just been told is expected to be completed before I go on maternity leave.
And on top of all of this my laptop is out of commission. . .I have been forced to use the antiquated desktop in our game room that is temperamental as hell. But the best part of my week was being sick- I'm talking complete with throwing up soup (sorry I know that's TMI)- for most of this week. Fevers, night sweats the whole nine. Just some random bacterial thing going around. My son was down for the count also so, I'm blaming those snotty nosed kids at his school! No, really I'm blaming their parents- I never send my son to school if he's really sick, i.e, has a FEVER of 100.9 or higher. Everyone knows or should know if a kid is running a fever they are more than likely infectious/contagious and can make other kids sick!
Ah, but I digress. . .or not, this started off as a rambling post and I guess it's best to finish it that way. Tomorrow is my husbands b-day, yep he's a Valentine's Baby. His defense when I tell him he's being a little too touchy-feely- he says he can't help it because number one I'm so irresistible (yeah, me and these extra 24 pounds) and he was born on the day of love. O. . K. I bought him this gadget from the Apple Store that he's been wanting and my son and I plan on making heart shaped cookies. I know the restaurants will be a mess tomorrow but it's been kind of a tradition to go to Pappasito's every year so, I guess we'll get started early.
Hope everyone has a great Valentine's Day! And be careful not to let any black cats cross your path tonight! Although it might have the opposite effect on luck for me. . .
At any rate, I've felt like a major failure on all fronts. Of course I'm thinking a good idea is to totally blame EVERYTHING on this pregnancy. I didn't do it all with my first pregnancy (I was like ridiculously calm and energetic) so I figure I'm going to milk this excuse until this kid is at least TWO! Ha ha!
Anyway, my life is back to feeling like I'm being tossed around in a food processor at high speed. This month, this short little month of February, I have SEVEN of my family members- close family members (hubby, mom, both/only nieces, uncle, only aunt and step daughter) who have birthdays- three of which are milestones (16, 18 & 60). Everybody is having a party or celebration that requires my attendance and there are only FOUR weekends in the month. You do the math.
Then March rolls around and that first week my son turns 5 and is having a party on the 7th. Then I've been told a baby shower is being planned for me on the 14th. That leaves FOUR short weeks until Bambino Number 2 makes her debut. Oh, but wait in between that time I have a presentation due for school AND a ginormous project at work that I've just been told is expected to be completed before I go on maternity leave.
And on top of all of this my laptop is out of commission. . .I have been forced to use the antiquated desktop in our game room that is temperamental as hell. But the best part of my week was being sick- I'm talking complete with throwing up soup (sorry I know that's TMI)- for most of this week. Fevers, night sweats the whole nine. Just some random bacterial thing going around. My son was down for the count also so, I'm blaming those snotty nosed kids at his school! No, really I'm blaming their parents- I never send my son to school if he's really sick, i.e, has a FEVER of 100.9 or higher. Everyone knows or should know if a kid is running a fever they are more than likely infectious/contagious and can make other kids sick!
Ah, but I digress. . .or not, this started off as a rambling post and I guess it's best to finish it that way. Tomorrow is my husbands b-day, yep he's a Valentine's Baby. His defense when I tell him he's being a little too touchy-feely- he says he can't help it because number one I'm so irresistible (yeah, me and these extra 24 pounds) and he was born on the day of love. O. . K. I bought him this gadget from the Apple Store that he's been wanting and my son and I plan on making heart shaped cookies. I know the restaurants will be a mess tomorrow but it's been kind of a tradition to go to Pappasito's every year so, I guess we'll get started early.
Hope everyone has a great Valentine's Day! And be careful not to let any black cats cross your path tonight! Although it might have the opposite effect on luck for me. . .
Monday, January 26, 2009
Untitled
Man, it's been a whole week since I even THOUGHT about this blog! It's getting kinda sad. . .
Hmm, I guess I could recap my week:
1. BARACK OBAMA is in the WHITE HOUSE!!!! Was that not the most AMAZING inauguration ever?! Although there were some white conservatives HATING on the event because- get this- they were focusing too much on black people. I ain't making that up. They felt the media focused "too much" on black people in the crowds and that the majority of the entertainment and speakers were black. So, when things are reversed and a white president has white supporters and white entertainers/speakers. It's okay? Got it. Moving on from all things ignorant. . .
2. Had another doctor's appointment and the little princess seems to be growing and doing fine. April 13th will be here before you know it and I will NOT be ready. But it's been my experience that it all ends up working out. :-)
3. Enrolled in a Psychology course. Theories of Personality. I can already tell it's going to be an interesting semester. Maybe I'll continue this blog to psychoanalyze people in my family and the media.
4. I think I might be mildly obsessed with the Twilight book series. Yeah, I know that's supposed to be a "young adult" series. I don't really want to elaborate except to say although Stephenie Meyer is not the most prolific writer in the world she has to be given credit for creating one of the most enthralling modern day fictional characters (Edward Cullen) in a long time.
5. I am tired of working. 'Nuff said.
Hopefully I'll be able to get some more interesting/relevant postings in this week.
Hmm, I guess I could recap my week:
1. BARACK OBAMA is in the WHITE HOUSE!!!! Was that not the most AMAZING inauguration ever?! Although there were some white conservatives HATING on the event because- get this- they were focusing too much on black people. I ain't making that up. They felt the media focused "too much" on black people in the crowds and that the majority of the entertainment and speakers were black. So, when things are reversed and a white president has white supporters and white entertainers/speakers. It's okay? Got it. Moving on from all things ignorant. . .
2. Had another doctor's appointment and the little princess seems to be growing and doing fine. April 13th will be here before you know it and I will NOT be ready. But it's been my experience that it all ends up working out. :-)
3. Enrolled in a Psychology course. Theories of Personality. I can already tell it's going to be an interesting semester. Maybe I'll continue this blog to psychoanalyze people in my family and the media.
4. I think I might be mildly obsessed with the Twilight book series. Yeah, I know that's supposed to be a "young adult" series. I don't really want to elaborate except to say although Stephenie Meyer is not the most prolific writer in the world she has to be given credit for creating one of the most enthralling modern day fictional characters (Edward Cullen) in a long time.
5. I am tired of working. 'Nuff said.
Hopefully I'll be able to get some more interesting/relevant postings in this week.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Blah-Blah-Blah
Happy Belated Turkey Day!! Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Mine was awesome. We went to my sister's house and gorged on way too much food! It was divine. Also, saw some family and friends that I had not seen in a while.
The day before Thanksgiving I had a doctor's appointment and it was confirmed that I am having a GIRL! Let the drama commence! Ha ha! My son didn't really mask his disappointment and he still refers to her as a "him" I guess he thinks if he wishes hard enough things will be different when April gets here. . .you never know. . .but I think both doctor's are pretty certain there are no boy parts in there.
It's getting to a point with this blog- unfortunately- that it's just another thing on my "to do" list. And I can almost predict its demise. It's been fun but I honestly don't know how much longer I'll keep it up. It was supposed to be an interim type thing while I regrouped with my parenting website but it kinda took on a life of its own and I never started the other website so I used this one for an outlet.
But with school, work, the holidays and a second child on the way- a sista is tired and totally not feeling the blog. I know it's getting bad because I don't even lurk around on other blogs like I used to. Although you wouldn't know it by the comments I actually get quite a few hits on this site about 50 a week. . .but there are only a handful of people who comment. I sincerely appreciate Super Dave, TheDad, Veronica and Don for taking an interest and leaving comments.
I am going to try and keep this going at least until the baby is born- don't want to leave everybody hanging but I apologize in advance if the posts are sporadic or just not that entertaining. Winds of change are blowing in. . .
The day before Thanksgiving I had a doctor's appointment and it was confirmed that I am having a GIRL! Let the drama commence! Ha ha! My son didn't really mask his disappointment and he still refers to her as a "him" I guess he thinks if he wishes hard enough things will be different when April gets here. . .you never know. . .but I think both doctor's are pretty certain there are no boy parts in there.
It's getting to a point with this blog- unfortunately- that it's just another thing on my "to do" list. And I can almost predict its demise. It's been fun but I honestly don't know how much longer I'll keep it up. It was supposed to be an interim type thing while I regrouped with my parenting website but it kinda took on a life of its own and I never started the other website so I used this one for an outlet.
But with school, work, the holidays and a second child on the way- a sista is tired and totally not feeling the blog. I know it's getting bad because I don't even lurk around on other blogs like I used to. Although you wouldn't know it by the comments I actually get quite a few hits on this site about 50 a week. . .but there are only a handful of people who comment. I sincerely appreciate Super Dave, TheDad, Veronica and Don for taking an interest and leaving comments.
I am going to try and keep this going at least until the baby is born- don't want to leave everybody hanging but I apologize in advance if the posts are sporadic or just not that entertaining. Winds of change are blowing in. . .
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Why Did I Get Married?
When Tyler Perry's movie came out earlier this year I ran to the theater to see it- not because I'm huge fan of Mr. Perry's (although I do think his accomplishments are phenomenal) nor because I was a big fan of anyone in the cast. I ran out to see it so that I could perhaps gain some understanding of this thing called marriage. Sadly, I wasn't given any insight- no more than I already had, which is not saying much.
I've been married six years and while it seems like a lifetime to me, it's nothing when I think about people who've been married 50 plus years or even my own sister who got married at 18 and has been married 17 years. I guess part of the secret to a long marriage is either marrying the "right" person to begin with or having the fortitude to deal with whatever bullshit comes your way and not give in or give up.
But I wonder what happens when the person you thought was "right" changes in to someone all wrong. Or perhaps you change and that person is no longer what you need. How do you deal with that? Will you constantly be forced to change who you are or suppress your true needs in an effort to make things "work"? And then when children are thrown into the mix-man- I think most of the time couples find themselves trying get along just for the children's sake but meanwhile their (the couple) relationship is suffering.
I think what honestly happens in most marriages is that as men and women we get settled into these roles. The man is supposed to take care of the house, fix the cars, cut the grass, etc. While the woman makes the house a home, decorating, cleaning, cooking, washing, etc. Eventually these roles become very lopsided and one person- usually the woman- is doing WAY more. ESPECIALLY if she works full time AND has a child.
So, then the woman voices her need for some assistance and perhaps because she's fed up with having to pick up dirty socks off the floor everyday, the request may sound more like a complaint. So now she is tagged as a "nagger" (gasp!). Simply because she wants her mate to pick up after himself. And the unraveling begins. . .
Most men talk about wanting an "independent" woman or a woman who is successful or ambitious but I think they also want that same woman to cater to them. You can't have it both ways. Women like that want a man to cater to them. And some of us are so selfish in our relationships that we establish a "quid pro quo" rule. If you do this. . .then I'll do that. Instead of doing something for your mate and not expecting a damn thing in return. I am more than sure there are married couples out there who operate on the no expectations principle but more often than not I'm sure their efforts are reciprocated by their spouse. But there are probably also those unions where one person is doing all the giving and the other is being a selfish receiver.
I started this post because I was beyond PISSED at my husband. And as I washed out a RANCID skillet that he scrambled eggs in on Sunday (yes, today is WEDNESDAY) and buried at the bottom of the sink still full of eggs that stuck to the pan. I began having these thoughts that if I was SINGLE I wouldn't be washing out this stinky ass skillet or having to waste time cleaning up instead of DOING HOMEWORK, which is why I am off on Wednesdays, so that I can catch up on homework and attend class! But instead of finishing two quizzes online and getting ready for my 1:00 class here I am cleaning up because apparently I am the only person in this house that cares whether or not mushrooms start growing up through the floor! And don't even get me started on wiping PEE from the top of the closed toilet lid. I only have one thing to say. When I pee I am 99.99% sure it is going IN the toilet.
ARGH!! There are times when I consider myself extremely blessed to be married and have a family, my health, a home and a decent paying job. And there are other times like today when I wonder "why did I get married" and where would I be in this moment if my time, my life and my future were my own and not tied to another person?
But I am married and I know why I did it: L-O-V-E. I married a great guy and although I want to tie him up and stuff him in a closet sometimes- I do love him. And we've created a great family that we will (God willing ) be adding to pretty soon. So, I will more than likely mention the skillet episode to him. He will more than likely down play it. I will more than likely get mad and keep stressing how disgusting it was. He will more than likely tell me that I need to give it a rest. I will more than likely tell him to go hell. We won't speak for thirty minutes. We'll go have a nice dinner out with my son to wish my husband good luck on the Philadelphia Marathon this weekend. And it will be over.
I guess I probably should just let it go since I am getting a TREAT this weekend. My husband leaves tomorrow morning for Philly (he has relatives there) and won't be back until MONDAY! Woohoo!! Maybe a little taste of "single life" is just what this married girl needs!
I LOVE this song by Anita Baker. . .I thought it was appropriate for this post. No more fairytales! Marriage can be wonderful but it is HARD WORK! I plan on hanging in there for the long haul! :-)
I've been married six years and while it seems like a lifetime to me, it's nothing when I think about people who've been married 50 plus years or even my own sister who got married at 18 and has been married 17 years. I guess part of the secret to a long marriage is either marrying the "right" person to begin with or having the fortitude to deal with whatever bullshit comes your way and not give in or give up.
But I wonder what happens when the person you thought was "right" changes in to someone all wrong. Or perhaps you change and that person is no longer what you need. How do you deal with that? Will you constantly be forced to change who you are or suppress your true needs in an effort to make things "work"? And then when children are thrown into the mix-man- I think most of the time couples find themselves trying get along just for the children's sake but meanwhile their (the couple) relationship is suffering.
I think what honestly happens in most marriages is that as men and women we get settled into these roles. The man is supposed to take care of the house, fix the cars, cut the grass, etc. While the woman makes the house a home, decorating, cleaning, cooking, washing, etc. Eventually these roles become very lopsided and one person- usually the woman- is doing WAY more. ESPECIALLY if she works full time AND has a child.
So, then the woman voices her need for some assistance and perhaps because she's fed up with having to pick up dirty socks off the floor everyday, the request may sound more like a complaint. So now she is tagged as a "nagger" (gasp!). Simply because she wants her mate to pick up after himself. And the unraveling begins. . .
Most men talk about wanting an "independent" woman or a woman who is successful or ambitious but I think they also want that same woman to cater to them. You can't have it both ways. Women like that want a man to cater to them. And some of us are so selfish in our relationships that we establish a "quid pro quo" rule. If you do this. . .then I'll do that. Instead of doing something for your mate and not expecting a damn thing in return. I am more than sure there are married couples out there who operate on the no expectations principle but more often than not I'm sure their efforts are reciprocated by their spouse. But there are probably also those unions where one person is doing all the giving and the other is being a selfish receiver.
I started this post because I was beyond PISSED at my husband. And as I washed out a RANCID skillet that he scrambled eggs in on Sunday (yes, today is WEDNESDAY) and buried at the bottom of the sink still full of eggs that stuck to the pan. I began having these thoughts that if I was SINGLE I wouldn't be washing out this stinky ass skillet or having to waste time cleaning up instead of DOING HOMEWORK, which is why I am off on Wednesdays, so that I can catch up on homework and attend class! But instead of finishing two quizzes online and getting ready for my 1:00 class here I am cleaning up because apparently I am the only person in this house that cares whether or not mushrooms start growing up through the floor! And don't even get me started on wiping PEE from the top of the closed toilet lid. I only have one thing to say. When I pee I am 99.99% sure it is going IN the toilet.
ARGH!! There are times when I consider myself extremely blessed to be married and have a family, my health, a home and a decent paying job. And there are other times like today when I wonder "why did I get married" and where would I be in this moment if my time, my life and my future were my own and not tied to another person?
But I am married and I know why I did it: L-O-V-E. I married a great guy and although I want to tie him up and stuff him in a closet sometimes- I do love him. And we've created a great family that we will (God willing ) be adding to pretty soon. So, I will more than likely mention the skillet episode to him. He will more than likely down play it. I will more than likely get mad and keep stressing how disgusting it was. He will more than likely tell me that I need to give it a rest. I will more than likely tell him to go hell. We won't speak for thirty minutes. We'll go have a nice dinner out with my son to wish my husband good luck on the Philadelphia Marathon this weekend. And it will be over.
I guess I probably should just let it go since I am getting a TREAT this weekend. My husband leaves tomorrow morning for Philly (he has relatives there) and won't be back until MONDAY! Woohoo!! Maybe a little taste of "single life" is just what this married girl needs!
I LOVE this song by Anita Baker. . .I thought it was appropriate for this post. No more fairytales! Marriage can be wonderful but it is HARD WORK! I plan on hanging in there for the long haul! :-)
Monday, November 10, 2008
Another Year, No Divorce
Hubby and I celebrated our 6th year anniversary on November 8th. We started the celebration on Thursday by attending a Maxwell concert (she says screaming and swooning simultaneously). I knew there was something missing from music today and after attending his concert I realized: Maxwell was missing from music. He is a phenomenal performer but his dancing KILLS me. . .he's the guy who asks you to dance at the club and the minute he starts jumping all over the floor you regret you got up out of your seat. But what he lacked in rhythm he more than made up for in sex appeal and singing.
The day after the concert we boarded a plane to Salt Lake City, rented a car and then drove to Park City and holed up there for the weekend. IT WAS COLD. I'm talking snow on the ground cold. Although anything below 70 degrees is cold to this Southern girl, it was legitimately cold there with the temperature hoovering around 40 degrees. We slept A LOT, shopped, ate and took in the beautiful landscape.
I am so officially OVER traveling for a while now. . .maybe it's the hormones talking but I don't want to leave the great state of Texas for at least 6 months to a year! On another note, somebody please tell me I'm trippin' and that THANKSGIVING is not in TWO WEEKS! AGH!
The only good thing about time flying by is that before you know it I'll have (God willing ) two children to post about. Pregnancy is definitely NOT my friend the second time around!
Here's my FAVORITE Maxwell song. . .Enjoy!
Monday, November 3, 2008
Potential Drama
I had a routine prenatal visit today and my doctor, God love her, says to me, "it's looking a little girl-ish," Ha ha! She said she felt about 75% sure that I was having a girl. I'm 16 weeks, 5 days today and won't find out 100% until I'm 20 weeks. But I've been saying all along I think it's a girl also, just because I feel totally different than when I was pregnant with my son. I basically feel like crap EVERY DAY. I think this is a sign that I'm growing a little "princess" inside of me- I think drama is on the horizon in our household.
I guess I shouldn't be so sexist considering I am a woman BUT because I am a woman I know what this could mean. There were three females in my house growing up: me, my sister and my mom. For the most part the drama was extremely mild and I think that was the case for two reasons- 1.) there were no men in the house, 2.) my sister and I KNEW there was only ONE woman, one QUEEN in our house and that was our mother. Period end of story. But there were those times I would run through the house screaming bloody murder because my sister not only borrowed my clothes without permission she put a hole in a shirt or got food on my pants.
We would yell and fight about the most petty, random ISH ever! But at the end of the day it was all good. And to this day my sister and I have a really close bond. My cousins on the other hand- two boys- would wrestle and play karate all day and unless one of them accidentally hurt the other one for real trying to be Kamala the Big Ugandan Giant (remember him?!) they never really fought or cared if someone was wearing someone else's underwear let alone a stupid shirt.
I don't really anticipate drama between my kids. . .since I'll have a son that's 5 years older than his female (potentially) sibling. I think the drama will be the fact that my husband will allow a daughter to get away with ten times the things my son will be allowed to get away with. . .I've seen it happen. Never mentioned it before but have a step-daughter who is about to be 11 and when I tell you SHE CAN DO NO WRONG IN HER DADDY'S EYES. . .it's kinda sickening. All I have to say to the potential princess is that she just needs to always remember who's the QUEEN and everything should be copacetic. Ha ha!
I'm kidding. . .kinda. . .seriously, I just want her (or him) to be as HEALTHY as possible! Besides I have no doubt this child will know their place once they arrive since my son mentions EVERY DAY that he's going to be the big brother, which means he's in charge! Like I said. . .drama is a-coming!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Jack Move
It appears throughout my business travels I have become the victim of a form of identity theft. I remember sitting in the airport, after my flight had been delayed for two hours, realizing I forgot my American Express card. So, I called my bank to transfer money since all I had was my debit card. The balance in my checking account seemed a little low but I was semi-delirious and didn't really think anything of it so I just made a mental note to check it once I returned from Orlando.
The alarm went off when we checked the mail this past Monday and there was a envelope from my bank that resembled an insufficient funds notice (there was a time a couple of decades ago that I got those all the time!) so I rip open the envelope and it's a notice saying they tried contacting me via e-mail but the message was returned undeliverable. I'm thinking why are they trying to contact me. . .so I call and check my balance. . .it's really low so I listen to the transactions that have cleared and the first cleared item threw up a red flag. I press zero to speak to a representative while simultaneously checking the transactions on line.
Someone has gotten my debit card number and charged $636 within a three day period at the most random places. They paid their T-Mobile bill, ordered some movies from Comcast, $200 for flowers, $200 at some bar, and the purchase of eyeglasses.
The bizarre thing is that I actually have my card, this has never happened before and I am super cautious about when & where I use my card. I never even use it online. So, apparently the last time I went out to eat someone jacked my number. Now I'm thinking I might need to just start taking the AMEX card and paying it off at the end of each month. Because I think I was extremely lucky that this sorry bastard didn't charge more or put me in an extreme financial bind.
But what's really crazy about this entire thing is that they were able to use my number in person at most of these places. . .they had to have a connection at these places. I don't think I could go to Chili's or Macy's or Eyemasters and say, "Oh, I don't have my card but here's the number" I wonder if they duplicated my card?? That settles it I'm carving a hole in my mattress! Why are people so damned devious?!?!? If they would only use their evil powers for good!
The alarm went off when we checked the mail this past Monday and there was a envelope from my bank that resembled an insufficient funds notice (there was a time a couple of decades ago that I got those all the time!) so I rip open the envelope and it's a notice saying they tried contacting me via e-mail but the message was returned undeliverable. I'm thinking why are they trying to contact me. . .so I call and check my balance. . .it's really low so I listen to the transactions that have cleared and the first cleared item threw up a red flag. I press zero to speak to a representative while simultaneously checking the transactions on line.
Someone has gotten my debit card number and charged $636 within a three day period at the most random places. They paid their T-Mobile bill, ordered some movies from Comcast, $200 for flowers, $200 at some bar, and the purchase of eyeglasses.
The bizarre thing is that I actually have my card, this has never happened before and I am super cautious about when & where I use my card. I never even use it online. So, apparently the last time I went out to eat someone jacked my number. Now I'm thinking I might need to just start taking the AMEX card and paying it off at the end of each month. Because I think I was extremely lucky that this sorry bastard didn't charge more or put me in an extreme financial bind.
But what's really crazy about this entire thing is that they were able to use my number in person at most of these places. . .they had to have a connection at these places. I don't think I could go to Chili's or Macy's or Eyemasters and say, "Oh, I don't have my card but here's the number" I wonder if they duplicated my card?? That settles it I'm carving a hole in my mattress! Why are people so damned devious?!?!? If they would only use their evil powers for good!
Monday, October 27, 2008
I'm Baaack!
Man, I totally forgot I even had a blog! ;-p It even took me two tries on the password. So much for trying to blog once a week this month. . .this month has been totally insane. Here's the recap:
1. Traveled to six different locations for annual enrollment meetings at work.
2. Verbally assaulted by wonderful co-workers in Newark. Such a classy bunch.
3. Got snowed on in Salt Lake City. Seriously, snowflakes in my hair!! Needless to say I was semi-afroed for the remainder of the trip.
4. Was able to fly first class to Orlando after sitting in airport for 2 1/2 hour delay due to weather.
5. Tomorrow will mark my 16th week of pregnancy. . .
Yep, I know who cares about 1 through 4, more on this number 5 bombshell. First of all, I am very hesitant to even talk about my pregnancy because if God forbid, something goes wrong and I don't deliver a healthy baby or any baby for that matter on April 13th then I'll have to address my feelings about that. . .which might not be a bad thing. . .
But I digress, I am expecting and this was TOTALLY unplanned and I have been in denial for three months. Especially after this tirade. Still scratching my head on how this happened. . .I mean I KNOW how it happened but still. . .anyway, I'm getting a little excited and will also get FIXED when this is over. I thought one was enough but I'm certain TWO will do! I think I'm most excited for my son. He will have a sibling and get the opportunity to impart his wisdom on another human being who will think he hung the moon. He will also get a chance to boss someone around, blame things on and from time to time be best their friend. I can't imagine my life without my sister and hopefully he will develop that kind of bond with his un-gender known sibling as well.
We haven't really specifically told him that he's going to be a big brother but we've spoken more in hypothetical terms and he is beyond excited at the prospect. He even has every one's role figured out. He will feed the baby, I will change the pee-pee diapers and daddy will change the poopie diapers. I love that plan! I think the age spread between the two will be perfect also because my son will be old enough not to still want to be a "baby" and require so much of my attention so, I'm hoping there won't be much jealousy or regression. Besides my " first baby" will be starting KINDERGARTEN next year! (She says throwing herself on floor and crying hysterically) I cannot believe how fast the time flew by. . .and to think just when I got him all trained to be semi-self-sufficient here I go bringing another person into this world who will be totally dependent on me. I think I know how this happened now. . .it was the blue pill that I took with the shot of Patron. . .
Needless to say hubby is ECSTATIC!!! This has been his plan all along! Come to think of it he gave me the blue pill! Ha ha! I have been in a shitty mood everyday exhausted, nauseous, bitchy, craving weird stuff and then not eating it, did I mention exhausted and bitchy? Whatever the case, I'm taking good care of myself and I ask for God's mercy daily and hope that he will bless me with a healthy child at the end of 40 weeks. I'll keep you posted as this journey continues on.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Slowly but Surely
As you can imagine things have been a little crazy ( or crazier than normal) in my world. We're finally trying to regain some sense of normalcy. . .our power came on Thursday evening around 6:30 and the way we found out was hilarious (in retrospect). My husband- bless his heart- had gotten the hook up with a 15,000 watt generator (yeah, he could have powered up the entire street) and he also had an AIR CONDITIONING WINDOW UNIT- I didn't even know they still made those. . .I have no idea where he got this stuff and while I was grateful I was somewhat leery.
I kept thinking something was going to blow up or we'd have carbon monoxide in the house. So, I was extremely paranoid. At one point I was sitting on the couch watching this monster in our backyard with all these cords coming out of it and all of a sudden I hear this grinding sound and I start screaming. . ."Oh, my GAWD it's gonna blow!" Turns out the grinding noise was our GARBAGE DISPOSAL. Someone had flipped the switch and when the power was restored that was the first thing that came on. After I nearly gave my husband a heart attack we started celebrating. We went outside to tell the neighbors who were all outside in their driveways. My son ran out and started yelling, "hey everybody we got lights!"
Although I am EXTREMELY grateful that the power has been restored at our house (we still have friends and family who are without power) and while I did miss it- things weren't that bad when the power was out. We learned to improvise. We stayed closer together. We went to sleep earlier. We talked more. We were still.
Now that the power has been restored we're back to our frenetic pace. Today was my son's first day back at school and he was feeling the pain. He's been on "hurrication" (vacation due to hurricane- heard that on the news last night) and it was hard for that young brother to get it together this morning. As for me, man oh man, I was already struggling to stay on track and now I have to kick it in to the highest gear possible to get caught up before my ridiculous travel schedule (for work) kicks in next month. Next month. . .do yall realize that' s NEXT week?!
AGH!!
I kept thinking something was going to blow up or we'd have carbon monoxide in the house. So, I was extremely paranoid. At one point I was sitting on the couch watching this monster in our backyard with all these cords coming out of it and all of a sudden I hear this grinding sound and I start screaming. . ."Oh, my GAWD it's gonna blow!" Turns out the grinding noise was our GARBAGE DISPOSAL. Someone had flipped the switch and when the power was restored that was the first thing that came on. After I nearly gave my husband a heart attack we started celebrating. We went outside to tell the neighbors who were all outside in their driveways. My son ran out and started yelling, "hey everybody we got lights!"
Although I am EXTREMELY grateful that the power has been restored at our house (we still have friends and family who are without power) and while I did miss it- things weren't that bad when the power was out. We learned to improvise. We stayed closer together. We went to sleep earlier. We talked more. We were still.
Now that the power has been restored we're back to our frenetic pace. Today was my son's first day back at school and he was feeling the pain. He's been on "hurrication" (vacation due to hurricane- heard that on the news last night) and it was hard for that young brother to get it together this morning. As for me, man oh man, I was already struggling to stay on track and now I have to kick it in to the highest gear possible to get caught up before my ridiculous travel schedule (for work) kicks in next month. Next month. . .do yall realize that' s NEXT week?!
AGH!!
Friday, August 1, 2008
Let The Music Play
Sometimes my son and I dance around the house until we are both out of breath. I seriously need to do this EVERYDAY and it would solve my exercise dilemma. Anyway, his two favorite songs are Life is a Highway by Rascal Flatts (it’s the Cars theme song) and My Mic Sounds Nice by Salt-n-Pepa. Ha ha! Eclectic, right?
I play these songs (as well as others) over and over and we sing loud, off key and dance ourselves dizzy. I used to do this a lot by myself when I was a single gal and had my own apartment. I would have CD’s (and CASSETTE TAPES) all over my apartment and I would dance and lip sync in front of the mirror. This was seriously my workout back in the day.
I’ve always had a love affair with music. I love it just about as much as I love reading. Songs have the power to lift you up and make you smile or bring you down and hold you there for a while. I find music to be inspirational and empowering. Sometimes in the ears of the wrong listeners it can also be motivation for madness.
I have a particular affinity for “old school” music. I listen to everything from Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics to What Is Love by Howard Jones to I’ve Been Loving You to Long by Otis Redding to Sweetest Taboo by Sade to Baby Baby Baby by TLC. My most favorite music is anything by Prince in the 80’s and old school hip hop from the 80’s. The 90’s new jack swing era also holds a special place in my heart and I have every CD Jodeci ever made. And do I even need to mention the love for Tupac and Biggie? But oddly enough, I also LOVE Dolly Parton’s theme song from 9 to 5 and I think Kenny Rogers’ song, The Gambler is the best metaphor for life:
You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, Know when to walk away and know when to run.You never count your money when you’re sittin’ at the table.There’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealins done.
As far as current music goes. . .I think Jill Scott is phenomenal and I’m waiting with bated breath for Maxwell’s new CD. I like Raheem DeVaughn and Anthony David. Guess my tastes lately reflect a more “mature” woman. However I do like Lupe Fiasco (or maybe just that Daydreamin’ joint because of Jill Scott). One person I am NOT a fan of at all and I am scratching my head trying to not only figure out what he’s saying but how he got famous is Lil Wayne. Don’t get me wrong -back in my backsliding days I used to love me some Cash Money Millionaires, “Number one stunna- what, what what?” and I even liked Weezy’s first song, “The Block is Hot” but that madness he’s spittin’ lately? I just don’t feel inspired, empowered or entertained by much of the muck on the radio these days. I guess I really am getting old. Whatever. Let me get back to MY music. . .this was my most favorite song to lip sync to. . .okay, so I admit I was lip syncing to it last night! (And YES, I do the choreography complete with pretending to play the drums! Ha ha!)
I play these songs (as well as others) over and over and we sing loud, off key and dance ourselves dizzy. I used to do this a lot by myself when I was a single gal and had my own apartment. I would have CD’s (and CASSETTE TAPES) all over my apartment and I would dance and lip sync in front of the mirror. This was seriously my workout back in the day.
I’ve always had a love affair with music. I love it just about as much as I love reading. Songs have the power to lift you up and make you smile or bring you down and hold you there for a while. I find music to be inspirational and empowering. Sometimes in the ears of the wrong listeners it can also be motivation for madness.
I have a particular affinity for “old school” music. I listen to everything from Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics to What Is Love by Howard Jones to I’ve Been Loving You to Long by Otis Redding to Sweetest Taboo by Sade to Baby Baby Baby by TLC. My most favorite music is anything by Prince in the 80’s and old school hip hop from the 80’s. The 90’s new jack swing era also holds a special place in my heart and I have every CD Jodeci ever made. And do I even need to mention the love for Tupac and Biggie? But oddly enough, I also LOVE Dolly Parton’s theme song from 9 to 5 and I think Kenny Rogers’ song, The Gambler is the best metaphor for life:
You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, Know when to walk away and know when to run.You never count your money when you’re sittin’ at the table.There’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealins done.
As far as current music goes. . .I think Jill Scott is phenomenal and I’m waiting with bated breath for Maxwell’s new CD. I like Raheem DeVaughn and Anthony David. Guess my tastes lately reflect a more “mature” woman. However I do like Lupe Fiasco (or maybe just that Daydreamin’ joint because of Jill Scott). One person I am NOT a fan of at all and I am scratching my head trying to not only figure out what he’s saying but how he got famous is Lil Wayne. Don’t get me wrong -back in my backsliding days I used to love me some Cash Money Millionaires, “Number one stunna- what, what what?” and I even liked Weezy’s first song, “The Block is Hot” but that madness he’s spittin’ lately? I just don’t feel inspired, empowered or entertained by much of the muck on the radio these days. I guess I really am getting old. Whatever. Let me get back to MY music. . .this was my most favorite song to lip sync to. . .okay, so I admit I was lip syncing to it last night! (And YES, I do the choreography complete with pretending to play the drums! Ha ha!)
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Home is Where the Motivation Is
I’ve been a busy bee lately. Work is kicking my butt! I even “worked from home” yesterday to try and get caught up.
I really wish I could work from home 4 days a week and only go into the office 1 day a week. I was so productive yesterday. Not only did I get a lot of work done I was also able to get a lot done around the house. All the clothes are washed and folded (did this while on a conference call), dishwasher loaded (while waiting for stuff to print) and during my “lunch” I went to the grocery store.
I think working from home would really provide me with a better work life balance. Usually my hectic day at home is followed by a hectic commute and by the time I make it home at 6:00 I’ve got to cram in cooking, spending quality time with my family, cleaning the kitchen (cannot got to bed with it dirty- OCD, remember?), bathe my son, put him to bed, talk politics and debrief (ignore the innuendo) with my husband before I yawn 100 times and drift off into a fitful sleep.
Not to mention when I’m at work I don’t get nearly the same amount of work done due to the constant interruptions, Internet surfing and long lunches.
(Of course the key to successfully working from home means my son has to go to his daycare school otherwise I’d have to find thirty minutes to play or color with him.)
Anyway, I think I might propose working from home a couple of days a week to our department Director. . .might even put a spin on it about me trying to do my part to save the environment by having one less car on the road. Seriously, I think that might win me some points with her.
I’m in the office today. .. tried to keep up the momentum from working at home yesterday but so far, I am failing miserably.
I really wish I could work from home 4 days a week and only go into the office 1 day a week. I was so productive yesterday. Not only did I get a lot of work done I was also able to get a lot done around the house. All the clothes are washed and folded (did this while on a conference call), dishwasher loaded (while waiting for stuff to print) and during my “lunch” I went to the grocery store.
I think working from home would really provide me with a better work life balance. Usually my hectic day at home is followed by a hectic commute and by the time I make it home at 6:00 I’ve got to cram in cooking, spending quality time with my family, cleaning the kitchen (cannot got to bed with it dirty- OCD, remember?), bathe my son, put him to bed, talk politics and debrief (ignore the innuendo) with my husband before I yawn 100 times and drift off into a fitful sleep.
Not to mention when I’m at work I don’t get nearly the same amount of work done due to the constant interruptions, Internet surfing and long lunches.
(Of course the key to successfully working from home means my son has to go to his daycare school otherwise I’d have to find thirty minutes to play or color with him.)
Anyway, I think I might propose working from home a couple of days a week to our department Director. . .might even put a spin on it about me trying to do my part to save the environment by having one less car on the road. Seriously, I think that might win me some points with her.
I’m in the office today. .. tried to keep up the momentum from working at home yesterday but so far, I am failing miserably.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Ow!
Can you believe June is here already?! Happy Birthday to K.B.! Dare I say it, Christmas will be here before you know it! Why did time seem to move at a snail's pace when I was a kid and now it's a total blur?!
I often want to just get off the merry go round and sit on the sidelines and watch my life as it stays on a perpetual loop of chaos! (But I guess then I wouldn't be living. . .only existing.) Oh, but be careful what I wish for! I was actually sidelined this weekend as my injury resurfaced! My elbow is pretty much locked and if I try to move my arm out of the ONE position it feels "okay" in, I find myself in serious pain. The orthopedist told me if I was back in a couple of weeks I would have to get a Cortisone shot. I'm okay with that. But he said if the shot doesn't work then SURGERY is the third option. That, I'm NOT okay with. . .
It sure ain't easy being cheesy especially when you're old and decrepit!
I often want to just get off the merry go round and sit on the sidelines and watch my life as it stays on a perpetual loop of chaos! (But I guess then I wouldn't be living. . .only existing.) Oh, but be careful what I wish for! I was actually sidelined this weekend as my injury resurfaced! My elbow is pretty much locked and if I try to move my arm out of the ONE position it feels "okay" in, I find myself in serious pain. The orthopedist told me if I was back in a couple of weeks I would have to get a Cortisone shot. I'm okay with that. But he said if the shot doesn't work then SURGERY is the third option. That, I'm NOT okay with. . .
It sure ain't easy being cheesy especially when you're old and decrepit!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Crush and I'm not talking about soda. . .
I need to get my priorities together. . .but I just had to put this out there. . .I'm happily married and all but I have to admit I have this odd fascination. . .actually it's a huge crush on ANDREW DAN- JUMBO. . .I don't know if it's the accent, the carpentry skill or that he is the perfect blend of rugged and KEY-UTE. Man, I need to start cruising the aisles of Home Depot and see if I can't get the Take Home Handyman to come to my house and help hubby with some reno projects! Then again I don't think my husband would take too kindly to my drooling. So, I guess that's just a fantasy deferred.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Not-So Guilty Conscience
I'm at home right now. Actually I've been at home for almost an hour. ALONE. Aah, it feels WONDERFUL. I went to work at another location and got off two hours early and did not have one iota of guilt when I passed right by (literally) my son's school and kept going. It wasn't even a consideration to go and pick him up early.
I love that little boy and his father, dearly but I am so in heaven right now relishing two hours of alone time at home. It's a true rarity around this camp that I don't have someone in my face or underfoot. I stopped by the GAS STATION (because I was too lazy to drive three red lights down to the grocery store) and bought a big bag of Tostito's and a 16 ounce Sprite for $5.79! Then I came home opened up two beautifully ripe avocados mixed in some garlic salt, ground pepper and lime juice and made myself some guacamole!
At this very moment I feel so sick to my stomach because I SCARFED down all but about three bites. But man was it good! I was going to go crazy and relax in a hot bubble bath for 40 minutes but my husband is having a rough day at work that might not end at 5:00 so, I am almost certain I will have to go and pick up The Genius. It's all good. These two hours alone have been fabulous and I'm totally decompressed from my day. I guess I could have been a bit more productive and started dinner. . .oh, but wait I had dinner already (guacamole and chips is quite a meal) looks like the boys are on their own tonight!
BTW- T-Ball ended last week. That is why this time has been so special because I no longer have T-Ball Thursdays to look forward to for ME time. . .so this was a great "make up" day!
I love that little boy and his father, dearly but I am so in heaven right now relishing two hours of alone time at home. It's a true rarity around this camp that I don't have someone in my face or underfoot. I stopped by the GAS STATION (because I was too lazy to drive three red lights down to the grocery store) and bought a big bag of Tostito's and a 16 ounce Sprite for $5.79! Then I came home opened up two beautifully ripe avocados mixed in some garlic salt, ground pepper and lime juice and made myself some guacamole!
At this very moment I feel so sick to my stomach because I SCARFED down all but about three bites. But man was it good! I was going to go crazy and relax in a hot bubble bath for 40 minutes but my husband is having a rough day at work that might not end at 5:00 so, I am almost certain I will have to go and pick up The Genius. It's all good. These two hours alone have been fabulous and I'm totally decompressed from my day. I guess I could have been a bit more productive and started dinner. . .oh, but wait I had dinner already (guacamole and chips is quite a meal) looks like the boys are on their own tonight!
BTW- T-Ball ended last week. That is why this time has been so special because I no longer have T-Ball Thursdays to look forward to for ME time. . .so this was a great "make up" day!
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Another Year
In ten days I will have another birthday, God willing. I will leave behind an age and a year that I will never get back. As I think about how profound that is. . .that I will never be this age again- EVER. I pause and contemplate, was it a worthwhile year? Did I live enough, do enough, love enough?
Since my last birthday I've:
Since my last birthday I've:
- Visited the Bahamas, San Francisco, Nashville, Disneyworld and New York
- Lost ten pounds and gained six
- Read twenty books
- Started this blog
- Walked in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure
- Donated time and money to various charities
- Made peace with my vocation
- Prayed more
- Experienced the death of my biological father
- Taken my son to the library once a month
- Done some home improvements
- Survived strep throat
- Finished three college credit courses
- Published a book!
Wow, I didn't realize I'd experienced so much until I wrote it all down. I think I focus way too much on all the things I want to do and things I haven't done instead of appreciating and celebrating all the things I have done. As I enter this new year of my life, I vow to try to be the best person, wife, mother, sister and friend that I can be and not worry about what others are around me are doing. I vow to start living life at my pace and relish all of the opportunities and encounters that come my way.
I thank God for my health- both mental and physical- the health of my family and for the gift of another year to live on this Earth. No need to make any wishes this year- I've got everything I could ask for plus a lot more that I probably don't deserve and I am extremely grateful!
Here's my theme song for the year ahead!
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Showing posts with label ME ME ME. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ME ME ME. Show all posts
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Express Yourself
I debated whether or not I should even mention this but because I obviously have a problem. . .right after I typed the title of this post I immediately thought of the N.W.A video. . .ahem.
It was not my intention to evoke images of Compton's Most Wanted and all of their jheri curl splendor. . .instead this post is supposed to be about creative expression, which I'm sure N.W.A. would argue that it's exactly what their song is about.
I am facing extreme burnout with "corporate America". Seriously, I am so ova all of the policies, procedures and politics. I really want to find a way to pursue my passions without having to give up something critical like shelter or my iPhone.
I have been a closet writer for roughly 28 years. I should have published about 10 books and had something optioned as a movie by now! But I've mostly kept my writing to myself as an outlet for the myriad of thoughts and ideas running rampant in my head!
Okay confession: I haven't exactly kept them all to myself- I may or may not have published quiet a few stories on a fanfiction site that shall remain nameless. It's actually my guilty pleasure. It's not that I'm ashamed of the writing, it's actually pretty good, if I must say so myself it's just that well- I'm more embarrassed than ashamed because I've written some pretty *cough* raunchy stuff. So, I use a pseudonym and maintain an anonymous relationship with my readers and reviewers. That way I don't have to lower my head and avoid making eye contact with people I actually know.
BUT I have been working on some actual stories- as in plural- which is part of my problem. It's like I have ADHD and once I get started on one story another idea pops in my head and I'm off to start another story. . .what was I talking about? Oh yeah, I'm working on actual stories and am committing myself to actually completing one within the next year that I can present to an agent and hopefully get some representation that will allow me to start querying publishers.
In all honesty, I would LOVE to see one of my stories made into a movie. I usually approach my writing that way, visualizing each paragraph or chapter as it would appear frame by frame in a movie. In addition to writing I also have this concept for producing educational materials (books and videos specifically) that feature children of color. I already have a name and even a logo/mascot that I own. Ain't he cute :-)
I've also been doing some blog banners, Photoshop editing and playing around with Dreamweaver. My mind is in total creative mode right now and it just sucks that I don't have enough time to really dedicate to the stuff that I really love doing (other than being a mommy ;-). But I'm making moves. . . I've got some schemes and plans that will hopefully have me unchained before the end of 2011. Because I honestly feel like I'm drowning and I really want to break free from this abyss so that I can soar among the clouds like God intended. Well, I'm sure he didn't literally mean for us to fly- that's why he created birds- but I mean he didn't put us here to be ordinary either.
I bid you adieu with this little gem (now I couldn't exactly play the N.W.A. version, this is a family oriented blog ;-)
I had a routine prenatal visit today and my doctor, God love her, says to me, "it's looking a little girl-ish," Ha ha! She said she felt about 75% sure that I was having a girl. I'm 16 weeks, 5 days today and won't find out 100% until I'm 20 weeks. But I've been saying all along I think it's a girl also, just because I feel totally different than when I was pregnant with my son. I basically feel like crap EVERY DAY. I think this is a sign that I'm growing a little "princess" inside of me- I think drama is on the horizon in our household.
I guess I shouldn't be so sexist considering I am a woman BUT because I am a woman I know what this could mean. There were three females in my house growing up: me, my sister and my mom. For the most part the drama was extremely mild and I think that was the case for two reasons- 1.) there were no men in the house, 2.) my sister and I KNEW there was only ONE woman, one QUEEN in our house and that was our mother. Period end of story. But there were those times I would run through the house screaming bloody murder because my sister not only borrowed my clothes without permission she put a hole in a shirt or got food on my pants.
We would yell and fight about the most petty, random ISH ever! But at the end of the day it was all good. And to this day my sister and I have a really close bond. My cousins on the other hand- two boys- would wrestle and play karate all day and unless one of them accidentally hurt the other one for real trying to be Kamala the Big Ugandan Giant (remember him?!) they never really fought or cared if someone was wearing someone else's underwear let alone a stupid shirt.
I don't really anticipate drama between my kids. . .since I'll have a son that's 5 years older than his female (potentially) sibling. I think the drama will be the fact that my husband will allow a daughter to get away with ten times the things my son will be allowed to get away with. . .I've seen it happen. Never mentioned it before but have a step-daughter who is about to be 11 and when I tell you SHE CAN DO NO WRONG IN HER DADDY'S EYES. . .it's kinda sickening. All I have to say to the potential princess is that she just needs to always remember who's the QUEEN and everything should be copacetic. Ha ha!
I'm kidding. . .kinda. . .seriously, I just want her (or him) to be as HEALTHY as possible! Besides I have no doubt this child will know their place once they arrive since my son mentions EVERY DAY that he's going to be the big brother, which means he's in charge! Like I said. . .drama is a-coming!
It was not my intention to evoke images of Compton's Most Wanted and all of their jheri curl splendor. . .instead this post is supposed to be about creative expression, which I'm sure N.W.A. would argue that it's exactly what their song is about.
I am facing extreme burnout with "corporate America". Seriously, I am so ova all of the policies, procedures and politics. I really want to find a way to pursue my passions without having to give up something critical like shelter or my iPhone.
I have been a closet writer for roughly 28 years. I should have published about 10 books and had something optioned as a movie by now! But I've mostly kept my writing to myself as an outlet for the myriad of thoughts and ideas running rampant in my head!
Okay confession: I haven't exactly kept them all to myself- I may or may not have published quiet a few stories on a fanfiction site that shall remain nameless. It's actually my guilty pleasure. It's not that I'm ashamed of the writing, it's actually pretty good, if I must say so myself it's just that well- I'm more embarrassed than ashamed because I've written some pretty *cough* raunchy stuff. So, I use a pseudonym and maintain an anonymous relationship with my readers and reviewers. That way I don't have to lower my head and avoid making eye contact with people I actually know.
BUT I have been working on some actual stories- as in plural- which is part of my problem. It's like I have ADHD and once I get started on one story another idea pops in my head and I'm off to start another story. . .what was I talking about? Oh yeah, I'm working on actual stories and am committing myself to actually completing one within the next year that I can present to an agent and hopefully get some representation that will allow me to start querying publishers.
In all honesty, I would LOVE to see one of my stories made into a movie. I usually approach my writing that way, visualizing each paragraph or chapter as it would appear frame by frame in a movie. In addition to writing I also have this concept for producing educational materials (books and videos specifically) that feature children of color. I already have a name and even a logo/mascot that I own. Ain't he cute :-)
I've also been doing some blog banners, Photoshop editing and playing around with Dreamweaver. My mind is in total creative mode right now and it just sucks that I don't have enough time to really dedicate to the stuff that I really love doing (other than being a mommy ;-). But I'm making moves. . . I've got some schemes and plans that will hopefully have me unchained before the end of 2011. Because I honestly feel like I'm drowning and I really want to break free from this abyss so that I can soar among the clouds like God intended. Well, I'm sure he didn't literally mean for us to fly- that's why he created birds- but I mean he didn't put us here to be ordinary either.
I bid you adieu with this little gem (now I couldn't exactly play the N.W.A. version, this is a family oriented blog ;-)
Friday, March 27, 2009
Update
What I've been up to:
1. Final ultrasound appointment (it's still a girl) on March 16th at that point the baby weighed (estimated of course) 6 lbs 3 ounces with almost four weeks to go.
2. Family & friends baby shower March 21st. Not a lot of attendance but great gifts and great company. My cousin did the cutest party favors. . .a little poem about me having a bun in the oven on the front of these cute bags ties with cute ribbon and inside was a delicious honey bun.
3. SURPRISE baby shower at work March 25th and I got a TON of stuff!! The generosity that people show for wedding and baby showers has always amazed me. The little princess' closet is already full of clothes, diapers and wipes! PLUS I have like $250 in gift cards for Target and Babies R Us!
4. Doctor's appointment March 26th reveals I am THREE centimeters dilated already. My doctor was a no show so I saw one of her partners who tried to convince me to be induced on April 3rd. That's NEXT Friday! Ten whole days before April 13th. . .um no. I think I'm gonna pass on that offer.
5. I took three quizzes and finished three papers (one pagers) all last weekend in preparation for my impending childbirth. I have to go on campus for a quiz on April 1st and have yet to study!
6. My ankles and feet have been on SWOLE for almost three weeks! It's to the point now that I am wearing FLIP FLOPS to work! I have no other choice. . .I refuse to buy new larger, wider shoes to wear for two weeks and half weeks.
7. Finally, been sleeping on the couch for the last few nights because I cannot get comfortable in our bed. Sleeping on my back and side is not working and I can't sleep on my stomach so I pretty much sleep sitting up. Not very comfortable at all!!!
Yeah, just a TAD bit overwhelmed and TIRED.
1. Final ultrasound appointment (it's still a girl) on March 16th at that point the baby weighed (estimated of course) 6 lbs 3 ounces with almost four weeks to go.
2. Family & friends baby shower March 21st. Not a lot of attendance but great gifts and great company. My cousin did the cutest party favors. . .a little poem about me having a bun in the oven on the front of these cute bags ties with cute ribbon and inside was a delicious honey bun.
3. SURPRISE baby shower at work March 25th and I got a TON of stuff!! The generosity that people show for wedding and baby showers has always amazed me. The little princess' closet is already full of clothes, diapers and wipes! PLUS I have like $250 in gift cards for Target and Babies R Us!
4. Doctor's appointment March 26th reveals I am THREE centimeters dilated already. My doctor was a no show so I saw one of her partners who tried to convince me to be induced on April 3rd. That's NEXT Friday! Ten whole days before April 13th. . .um no. I think I'm gonna pass on that offer.
5. I took three quizzes and finished three papers (one pagers) all last weekend in preparation for my impending childbirth. I have to go on campus for a quiz on April 1st and have yet to study!
6. My ankles and feet have been on SWOLE for almost three weeks! It's to the point now that I am wearing FLIP FLOPS to work! I have no other choice. . .I refuse to buy new larger, wider shoes to wear for two weeks and half weeks.
7. Finally, been sleeping on the couch for the last few nights because I cannot get comfortable in our bed. Sleeping on my back and side is not working and I can't sleep on my stomach so I pretty much sleep sitting up. Not very comfortable at all!!!
Yeah, just a TAD bit overwhelmed and TIRED.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Friday the 13th: Looking for better luck!
Okay, so here' s goes my um. . .weekly post. I know I lied but I did try. I tried to keep up with the blog and tried to keep it relevant just like I've been trying to keep motivated at work, engaged with my son and enchanted with my husband. That last one has been tough considering dude was working my nerves for a about a month or so at the end of the year!
At any rate, I've felt like a major failure on all fronts. Of course I'm thinking a good idea is to totally blame EVERYTHING on this pregnancy. I didn't do it all with my first pregnancy (I was like ridiculously calm and energetic) so I figure I'm going to milk this excuse until this kid is at least TWO! Ha ha!
Anyway, my life is back to feeling like I'm being tossed around in a food processor at high speed. This month, this short little month of February, I have SEVEN of my family members- close family members (hubby, mom, both/only nieces, uncle, only aunt and step daughter) who have birthdays- three of which are milestones (16, 18 & 60). Everybody is having a party or celebration that requires my attendance and there are only FOUR weekends in the month. You do the math.
Then March rolls around and that first week my son turns 5 and is having a party on the 7th. Then I've been told a baby shower is being planned for me on the 14th. That leaves FOUR short weeks until Bambino Number 2 makes her debut. Oh, but wait in between that time I have a presentation due for school AND a ginormous project at work that I've just been told is expected to be completed before I go on maternity leave.
And on top of all of this my laptop is out of commission. . .I have been forced to use the antiquated desktop in our game room that is temperamental as hell. But the best part of my week was being sick- I'm talking complete with throwing up soup (sorry I know that's TMI)- for most of this week. Fevers, night sweats the whole nine. Just some random bacterial thing going around. My son was down for the count also so, I'm blaming those snotty nosed kids at his school! No, really I'm blaming their parents- I never send my son to school if he's really sick, i.e, has a FEVER of 100.9 or higher. Everyone knows or should know if a kid is running a fever they are more than likely infectious/contagious and can make other kids sick!
Ah, but I digress. . .or not, this started off as a rambling post and I guess it's best to finish it that way. Tomorrow is my husbands b-day, yep he's a Valentine's Baby. His defense when I tell him he's being a little too touchy-feely- he says he can't help it because number one I'm so irresistible (yeah, me and these extra 24 pounds) and he was born on the day of love. O. . K. I bought him this gadget from the Apple Store that he's been wanting and my son and I plan on making heart shaped cookies. I know the restaurants will be a mess tomorrow but it's been kind of a tradition to go to Pappasito's every year so, I guess we'll get started early.
Hope everyone has a great Valentine's Day! And be careful not to let any black cats cross your path tonight! Although it might have the opposite effect on luck for me. . .
At any rate, I've felt like a major failure on all fronts. Of course I'm thinking a good idea is to totally blame EVERYTHING on this pregnancy. I didn't do it all with my first pregnancy (I was like ridiculously calm and energetic) so I figure I'm going to milk this excuse until this kid is at least TWO! Ha ha!
Anyway, my life is back to feeling like I'm being tossed around in a food processor at high speed. This month, this short little month of February, I have SEVEN of my family members- close family members (hubby, mom, both/only nieces, uncle, only aunt and step daughter) who have birthdays- three of which are milestones (16, 18 & 60). Everybody is having a party or celebration that requires my attendance and there are only FOUR weekends in the month. You do the math.
Then March rolls around and that first week my son turns 5 and is having a party on the 7th. Then I've been told a baby shower is being planned for me on the 14th. That leaves FOUR short weeks until Bambino Number 2 makes her debut. Oh, but wait in between that time I have a presentation due for school AND a ginormous project at work that I've just been told is expected to be completed before I go on maternity leave.
And on top of all of this my laptop is out of commission. . .I have been forced to use the antiquated desktop in our game room that is temperamental as hell. But the best part of my week was being sick- I'm talking complete with throwing up soup (sorry I know that's TMI)- for most of this week. Fevers, night sweats the whole nine. Just some random bacterial thing going around. My son was down for the count also so, I'm blaming those snotty nosed kids at his school! No, really I'm blaming their parents- I never send my son to school if he's really sick, i.e, has a FEVER of 100.9 or higher. Everyone knows or should know if a kid is running a fever they are more than likely infectious/contagious and can make other kids sick!
Ah, but I digress. . .or not, this started off as a rambling post and I guess it's best to finish it that way. Tomorrow is my husbands b-day, yep he's a Valentine's Baby. His defense when I tell him he's being a little too touchy-feely- he says he can't help it because number one I'm so irresistible (yeah, me and these extra 24 pounds) and he was born on the day of love. O. . K. I bought him this gadget from the Apple Store that he's been wanting and my son and I plan on making heart shaped cookies. I know the restaurants will be a mess tomorrow but it's been kind of a tradition to go to Pappasito's every year so, I guess we'll get started early.
Hope everyone has a great Valentine's Day! And be careful not to let any black cats cross your path tonight! Although it might have the opposite effect on luck for me. . .
Monday, January 26, 2009
Untitled
Man, it's been a whole week since I even THOUGHT about this blog! It's getting kinda sad. . .
Hmm, I guess I could recap my week:
1. BARACK OBAMA is in the WHITE HOUSE!!!! Was that not the most AMAZING inauguration ever?! Although there were some white conservatives HATING on the event because- get this- they were focusing too much on black people. I ain't making that up. They felt the media focused "too much" on black people in the crowds and that the majority of the entertainment and speakers were black. So, when things are reversed and a white president has white supporters and white entertainers/speakers. It's okay? Got it. Moving on from all things ignorant. . .
2. Had another doctor's appointment and the little princess seems to be growing and doing fine. April 13th will be here before you know it and I will NOT be ready. But it's been my experience that it all ends up working out. :-)
3. Enrolled in a Psychology course. Theories of Personality. I can already tell it's going to be an interesting semester. Maybe I'll continue this blog to psychoanalyze people in my family and the media.
4. I think I might be mildly obsessed with the Twilight book series. Yeah, I know that's supposed to be a "young adult" series. I don't really want to elaborate except to say although Stephenie Meyer is not the most prolific writer in the world she has to be given credit for creating one of the most enthralling modern day fictional characters (Edward Cullen) in a long time.
5. I am tired of working. 'Nuff said.
Hopefully I'll be able to get some more interesting/relevant postings in this week.
Hmm, I guess I could recap my week:
1. BARACK OBAMA is in the WHITE HOUSE!!!! Was that not the most AMAZING inauguration ever?! Although there were some white conservatives HATING on the event because- get this- they were focusing too much on black people. I ain't making that up. They felt the media focused "too much" on black people in the crowds and that the majority of the entertainment and speakers were black. So, when things are reversed and a white president has white supporters and white entertainers/speakers. It's okay? Got it. Moving on from all things ignorant. . .
2. Had another doctor's appointment and the little princess seems to be growing and doing fine. April 13th will be here before you know it and I will NOT be ready. But it's been my experience that it all ends up working out. :-)
3. Enrolled in a Psychology course. Theories of Personality. I can already tell it's going to be an interesting semester. Maybe I'll continue this blog to psychoanalyze people in my family and the media.
4. I think I might be mildly obsessed with the Twilight book series. Yeah, I know that's supposed to be a "young adult" series. I don't really want to elaborate except to say although Stephenie Meyer is not the most prolific writer in the world she has to be given credit for creating one of the most enthralling modern day fictional characters (Edward Cullen) in a long time.
5. I am tired of working. 'Nuff said.
Hopefully I'll be able to get some more interesting/relevant postings in this week.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Blah-Blah-Blah
Happy Belated Turkey Day!! Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Mine was awesome. We went to my sister's house and gorged on way too much food! It was divine. Also, saw some family and friends that I had not seen in a while.
The day before Thanksgiving I had a doctor's appointment and it was confirmed that I am having a GIRL! Let the drama commence! Ha ha! My son didn't really mask his disappointment and he still refers to her as a "him" I guess he thinks if he wishes hard enough things will be different when April gets here. . .you never know. . .but I think both doctor's are pretty certain there are no boy parts in there.
It's getting to a point with this blog- unfortunately- that it's just another thing on my "to do" list. And I can almost predict its demise. It's been fun but I honestly don't know how much longer I'll keep it up. It was supposed to be an interim type thing while I regrouped with my parenting website but it kinda took on a life of its own and I never started the other website so I used this one for an outlet.
But with school, work, the holidays and a second child on the way- a sista is tired and totally not feeling the blog. I know it's getting bad because I don't even lurk around on other blogs like I used to. Although you wouldn't know it by the comments I actually get quite a few hits on this site about 50 a week. . .but there are only a handful of people who comment. I sincerely appreciate Super Dave, TheDad, Veronica and Don for taking an interest and leaving comments.
I am going to try and keep this going at least until the baby is born- don't want to leave everybody hanging but I apologize in advance if the posts are sporadic or just not that entertaining. Winds of change are blowing in. . .
The day before Thanksgiving I had a doctor's appointment and it was confirmed that I am having a GIRL! Let the drama commence! Ha ha! My son didn't really mask his disappointment and he still refers to her as a "him" I guess he thinks if he wishes hard enough things will be different when April gets here. . .you never know. . .but I think both doctor's are pretty certain there are no boy parts in there.
It's getting to a point with this blog- unfortunately- that it's just another thing on my "to do" list. And I can almost predict its demise. It's been fun but I honestly don't know how much longer I'll keep it up. It was supposed to be an interim type thing while I regrouped with my parenting website but it kinda took on a life of its own and I never started the other website so I used this one for an outlet.
But with school, work, the holidays and a second child on the way- a sista is tired and totally not feeling the blog. I know it's getting bad because I don't even lurk around on other blogs like I used to. Although you wouldn't know it by the comments I actually get quite a few hits on this site about 50 a week. . .but there are only a handful of people who comment. I sincerely appreciate Super Dave, TheDad, Veronica and Don for taking an interest and leaving comments.
I am going to try and keep this going at least until the baby is born- don't want to leave everybody hanging but I apologize in advance if the posts are sporadic or just not that entertaining. Winds of change are blowing in. . .
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Why Did I Get Married?
When Tyler Perry's movie came out earlier this year I ran to the theater to see it- not because I'm huge fan of Mr. Perry's (although I do think his accomplishments are phenomenal) nor because I was a big fan of anyone in the cast. I ran out to see it so that I could perhaps gain some understanding of this thing called marriage. Sadly, I wasn't given any insight- no more than I already had, which is not saying much.
I've been married six years and while it seems like a lifetime to me, it's nothing when I think about people who've been married 50 plus years or even my own sister who got married at 18 and has been married 17 years. I guess part of the secret to a long marriage is either marrying the "right" person to begin with or having the fortitude to deal with whatever bullshit comes your way and not give in or give up.
But I wonder what happens when the person you thought was "right" changes in to someone all wrong. Or perhaps you change and that person is no longer what you need. How do you deal with that? Will you constantly be forced to change who you are or suppress your true needs in an effort to make things "work"? And then when children are thrown into the mix-man- I think most of the time couples find themselves trying get along just for the children's sake but meanwhile their (the couple) relationship is suffering.
I think what honestly happens in most marriages is that as men and women we get settled into these roles. The man is supposed to take care of the house, fix the cars, cut the grass, etc. While the woman makes the house a home, decorating, cleaning, cooking, washing, etc. Eventually these roles become very lopsided and one person- usually the woman- is doing WAY more. ESPECIALLY if she works full time AND has a child.
So, then the woman voices her need for some assistance and perhaps because she's fed up with having to pick up dirty socks off the floor everyday, the request may sound more like a complaint. So now she is tagged as a "nagger" (gasp!). Simply because she wants her mate to pick up after himself. And the unraveling begins. . .
Most men talk about wanting an "independent" woman or a woman who is successful or ambitious but I think they also want that same woman to cater to them. You can't have it both ways. Women like that want a man to cater to them. And some of us are so selfish in our relationships that we establish a "quid pro quo" rule. If you do this. . .then I'll do that. Instead of doing something for your mate and not expecting a damn thing in return. I am more than sure there are married couples out there who operate on the no expectations principle but more often than not I'm sure their efforts are reciprocated by their spouse. But there are probably also those unions where one person is doing all the giving and the other is being a selfish receiver.
I started this post because I was beyond PISSED at my husband. And as I washed out a RANCID skillet that he scrambled eggs in on Sunday (yes, today is WEDNESDAY) and buried at the bottom of the sink still full of eggs that stuck to the pan. I began having these thoughts that if I was SINGLE I wouldn't be washing out this stinky ass skillet or having to waste time cleaning up instead of DOING HOMEWORK, which is why I am off on Wednesdays, so that I can catch up on homework and attend class! But instead of finishing two quizzes online and getting ready for my 1:00 class here I am cleaning up because apparently I am the only person in this house that cares whether or not mushrooms start growing up through the floor! And don't even get me started on wiping PEE from the top of the closed toilet lid. I only have one thing to say. When I pee I am 99.99% sure it is going IN the toilet.
ARGH!! There are times when I consider myself extremely blessed to be married and have a family, my health, a home and a decent paying job. And there are other times like today when I wonder "why did I get married" and where would I be in this moment if my time, my life and my future were my own and not tied to another person?
But I am married and I know why I did it: L-O-V-E. I married a great guy and although I want to tie him up and stuff him in a closet sometimes- I do love him. And we've created a great family that we will (God willing ) be adding to pretty soon. So, I will more than likely mention the skillet episode to him. He will more than likely down play it. I will more than likely get mad and keep stressing how disgusting it was. He will more than likely tell me that I need to give it a rest. I will more than likely tell him to go hell. We won't speak for thirty minutes. We'll go have a nice dinner out with my son to wish my husband good luck on the Philadelphia Marathon this weekend. And it will be over.
I guess I probably should just let it go since I am getting a TREAT this weekend. My husband leaves tomorrow morning for Philly (he has relatives there) and won't be back until MONDAY! Woohoo!! Maybe a little taste of "single life" is just what this married girl needs!
I LOVE this song by Anita Baker. . .I thought it was appropriate for this post. No more fairytales! Marriage can be wonderful but it is HARD WORK! I plan on hanging in there for the long haul! :-)
I've been married six years and while it seems like a lifetime to me, it's nothing when I think about people who've been married 50 plus years or even my own sister who got married at 18 and has been married 17 years. I guess part of the secret to a long marriage is either marrying the "right" person to begin with or having the fortitude to deal with whatever bullshit comes your way and not give in or give up.
But I wonder what happens when the person you thought was "right" changes in to someone all wrong. Or perhaps you change and that person is no longer what you need. How do you deal with that? Will you constantly be forced to change who you are or suppress your true needs in an effort to make things "work"? And then when children are thrown into the mix-man- I think most of the time couples find themselves trying get along just for the children's sake but meanwhile their (the couple) relationship is suffering.
I think what honestly happens in most marriages is that as men and women we get settled into these roles. The man is supposed to take care of the house, fix the cars, cut the grass, etc. While the woman makes the house a home, decorating, cleaning, cooking, washing, etc. Eventually these roles become very lopsided and one person- usually the woman- is doing WAY more. ESPECIALLY if she works full time AND has a child.
So, then the woman voices her need for some assistance and perhaps because she's fed up with having to pick up dirty socks off the floor everyday, the request may sound more like a complaint. So now she is tagged as a "nagger" (gasp!). Simply because she wants her mate to pick up after himself. And the unraveling begins. . .
Most men talk about wanting an "independent" woman or a woman who is successful or ambitious but I think they also want that same woman to cater to them. You can't have it both ways. Women like that want a man to cater to them. And some of us are so selfish in our relationships that we establish a "quid pro quo" rule. If you do this. . .then I'll do that. Instead of doing something for your mate and not expecting a damn thing in return. I am more than sure there are married couples out there who operate on the no expectations principle but more often than not I'm sure their efforts are reciprocated by their spouse. But there are probably also those unions where one person is doing all the giving and the other is being a selfish receiver.
I started this post because I was beyond PISSED at my husband. And as I washed out a RANCID skillet that he scrambled eggs in on Sunday (yes, today is WEDNESDAY) and buried at the bottom of the sink still full of eggs that stuck to the pan. I began having these thoughts that if I was SINGLE I wouldn't be washing out this stinky ass skillet or having to waste time cleaning up instead of DOING HOMEWORK, which is why I am off on Wednesdays, so that I can catch up on homework and attend class! But instead of finishing two quizzes online and getting ready for my 1:00 class here I am cleaning up because apparently I am the only person in this house that cares whether or not mushrooms start growing up through the floor! And don't even get me started on wiping PEE from the top of the closed toilet lid. I only have one thing to say. When I pee I am 99.99% sure it is going IN the toilet.
ARGH!! There are times when I consider myself extremely blessed to be married and have a family, my health, a home and a decent paying job. And there are other times like today when I wonder "why did I get married" and where would I be in this moment if my time, my life and my future were my own and not tied to another person?
But I am married and I know why I did it: L-O-V-E. I married a great guy and although I want to tie him up and stuff him in a closet sometimes- I do love him. And we've created a great family that we will (God willing ) be adding to pretty soon. So, I will more than likely mention the skillet episode to him. He will more than likely down play it. I will more than likely get mad and keep stressing how disgusting it was. He will more than likely tell me that I need to give it a rest. I will more than likely tell him to go hell. We won't speak for thirty minutes. We'll go have a nice dinner out with my son to wish my husband good luck on the Philadelphia Marathon this weekend. And it will be over.
I guess I probably should just let it go since I am getting a TREAT this weekend. My husband leaves tomorrow morning for Philly (he has relatives there) and won't be back until MONDAY! Woohoo!! Maybe a little taste of "single life" is just what this married girl needs!
I LOVE this song by Anita Baker. . .I thought it was appropriate for this post. No more fairytales! Marriage can be wonderful but it is HARD WORK! I plan on hanging in there for the long haul! :-)
Monday, November 10, 2008
Another Year, No Divorce
Hubby and I celebrated our 6th year anniversary on November 8th. We started the celebration on Thursday by attending a Maxwell concert (she says screaming and swooning simultaneously). I knew there was something missing from music today and after attending his concert I realized: Maxwell was missing from music. He is a phenomenal performer but his dancing KILLS me. . .he's the guy who asks you to dance at the club and the minute he starts jumping all over the floor you regret you got up out of your seat. But what he lacked in rhythm he more than made up for in sex appeal and singing.
The day after the concert we boarded a plane to Salt Lake City, rented a car and then drove to Park City and holed up there for the weekend. IT WAS COLD. I'm talking snow on the ground cold. Although anything below 70 degrees is cold to this Southern girl, it was legitimately cold there with the temperature hoovering around 40 degrees. We slept A LOT, shopped, ate and took in the beautiful landscape.
I am so officially OVER traveling for a while now. . .maybe it's the hormones talking but I don't want to leave the great state of Texas for at least 6 months to a year! On another note, somebody please tell me I'm trippin' and that THANKSGIVING is not in TWO WEEKS! AGH!
The only good thing about time flying by is that before you know it I'll have (God willing ) two children to post about. Pregnancy is definitely NOT my friend the second time around!
Here's my FAVORITE Maxwell song. . .Enjoy!
Monday, November 3, 2008
Potential Drama
I had a routine prenatal visit today and my doctor, God love her, says to me, "it's looking a little girl-ish," Ha ha! She said she felt about 75% sure that I was having a girl. I'm 16 weeks, 5 days today and won't find out 100% until I'm 20 weeks. But I've been saying all along I think it's a girl also, just because I feel totally different than when I was pregnant with my son. I basically feel like crap EVERY DAY. I think this is a sign that I'm growing a little "princess" inside of me- I think drama is on the horizon in our household.
I guess I shouldn't be so sexist considering I am a woman BUT because I am a woman I know what this could mean. There were three females in my house growing up: me, my sister and my mom. For the most part the drama was extremely mild and I think that was the case for two reasons- 1.) there were no men in the house, 2.) my sister and I KNEW there was only ONE woman, one QUEEN in our house and that was our mother. Period end of story. But there were those times I would run through the house screaming bloody murder because my sister not only borrowed my clothes without permission she put a hole in a shirt or got food on my pants.
We would yell and fight about the most petty, random ISH ever! But at the end of the day it was all good. And to this day my sister and I have a really close bond. My cousins on the other hand- two boys- would wrestle and play karate all day and unless one of them accidentally hurt the other one for real trying to be Kamala the Big Ugandan Giant (remember him?!) they never really fought or cared if someone was wearing someone else's underwear let alone a stupid shirt.
I don't really anticipate drama between my kids. . .since I'll have a son that's 5 years older than his female (potentially) sibling. I think the drama will be the fact that my husband will allow a daughter to get away with ten times the things my son will be allowed to get away with. . .I've seen it happen. Never mentioned it before but have a step-daughter who is about to be 11 and when I tell you SHE CAN DO NO WRONG IN HER DADDY'S EYES. . .it's kinda sickening. All I have to say to the potential princess is that she just needs to always remember who's the QUEEN and everything should be copacetic. Ha ha!
I'm kidding. . .kinda. . .seriously, I just want her (or him) to be as HEALTHY as possible! Besides I have no doubt this child will know their place once they arrive since my son mentions EVERY DAY that he's going to be the big brother, which means he's in charge! Like I said. . .drama is a-coming!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Jack Move
It appears throughout my business travels I have become the victim of a form of identity theft. I remember sitting in the airport, after my flight had been delayed for two hours, realizing I forgot my American Express card. So, I called my bank to transfer money since all I had was my debit card. The balance in my checking account seemed a little low but I was semi-delirious and didn't really think anything of it so I just made a mental note to check it once I returned from Orlando.
The alarm went off when we checked the mail this past Monday and there was a envelope from my bank that resembled an insufficient funds notice (there was a time a couple of decades ago that I got those all the time!) so I rip open the envelope and it's a notice saying they tried contacting me via e-mail but the message was returned undeliverable. I'm thinking why are they trying to contact me. . .so I call and check my balance. . .it's really low so I listen to the transactions that have cleared and the first cleared item threw up a red flag. I press zero to speak to a representative while simultaneously checking the transactions on line.
Someone has gotten my debit card number and charged $636 within a three day period at the most random places. They paid their T-Mobile bill, ordered some movies from Comcast, $200 for flowers, $200 at some bar, and the purchase of eyeglasses.
The bizarre thing is that I actually have my card, this has never happened before and I am super cautious about when & where I use my card. I never even use it online. So, apparently the last time I went out to eat someone jacked my number. Now I'm thinking I might need to just start taking the AMEX card and paying it off at the end of each month. Because I think I was extremely lucky that this sorry bastard didn't charge more or put me in an extreme financial bind.
But what's really crazy about this entire thing is that they were able to use my number in person at most of these places. . .they had to have a connection at these places. I don't think I could go to Chili's or Macy's or Eyemasters and say, "Oh, I don't have my card but here's the number" I wonder if they duplicated my card?? That settles it I'm carving a hole in my mattress! Why are people so damned devious?!?!? If they would only use their evil powers for good!
The alarm went off when we checked the mail this past Monday and there was a envelope from my bank that resembled an insufficient funds notice (there was a time a couple of decades ago that I got those all the time!) so I rip open the envelope and it's a notice saying they tried contacting me via e-mail but the message was returned undeliverable. I'm thinking why are they trying to contact me. . .so I call and check my balance. . .it's really low so I listen to the transactions that have cleared and the first cleared item threw up a red flag. I press zero to speak to a representative while simultaneously checking the transactions on line.
Someone has gotten my debit card number and charged $636 within a three day period at the most random places. They paid their T-Mobile bill, ordered some movies from Comcast, $200 for flowers, $200 at some bar, and the purchase of eyeglasses.
The bizarre thing is that I actually have my card, this has never happened before and I am super cautious about when & where I use my card. I never even use it online. So, apparently the last time I went out to eat someone jacked my number. Now I'm thinking I might need to just start taking the AMEX card and paying it off at the end of each month. Because I think I was extremely lucky that this sorry bastard didn't charge more or put me in an extreme financial bind.
But what's really crazy about this entire thing is that they were able to use my number in person at most of these places. . .they had to have a connection at these places. I don't think I could go to Chili's or Macy's or Eyemasters and say, "Oh, I don't have my card but here's the number" I wonder if they duplicated my card?? That settles it I'm carving a hole in my mattress! Why are people so damned devious?!?!? If they would only use their evil powers for good!
Monday, October 27, 2008
I'm Baaack!
Man, I totally forgot I even had a blog! ;-p It even took me two tries on the password. So much for trying to blog once a week this month. . .this month has been totally insane. Here's the recap:
1. Traveled to six different locations for annual enrollment meetings at work.
2. Verbally assaulted by wonderful co-workers in Newark. Such a classy bunch.
3. Got snowed on in Salt Lake City. Seriously, snowflakes in my hair!! Needless to say I was semi-afroed for the remainder of the trip.
4. Was able to fly first class to Orlando after sitting in airport for 2 1/2 hour delay due to weather.
5. Tomorrow will mark my 16th week of pregnancy. . .
Yep, I know who cares about 1 through 4, more on this number 5 bombshell. First of all, I am very hesitant to even talk about my pregnancy because if God forbid, something goes wrong and I don't deliver a healthy baby or any baby for that matter on April 13th then I'll have to address my feelings about that. . .which might not be a bad thing. . .
But I digress, I am expecting and this was TOTALLY unplanned and I have been in denial for three months. Especially after this tirade. Still scratching my head on how this happened. . .I mean I KNOW how it happened but still. . .anyway, I'm getting a little excited and will also get FIXED when this is over. I thought one was enough but I'm certain TWO will do! I think I'm most excited for my son. He will have a sibling and get the opportunity to impart his wisdom on another human being who will think he hung the moon. He will also get a chance to boss someone around, blame things on and from time to time be best their friend. I can't imagine my life without my sister and hopefully he will develop that kind of bond with his un-gender known sibling as well.
We haven't really specifically told him that he's going to be a big brother but we've spoken more in hypothetical terms and he is beyond excited at the prospect. He even has every one's role figured out. He will feed the baby, I will change the pee-pee diapers and daddy will change the poopie diapers. I love that plan! I think the age spread between the two will be perfect also because my son will be old enough not to still want to be a "baby" and require so much of my attention so, I'm hoping there won't be much jealousy or regression. Besides my " first baby" will be starting KINDERGARTEN next year! (She says throwing herself on floor and crying hysterically) I cannot believe how fast the time flew by. . .and to think just when I got him all trained to be semi-self-sufficient here I go bringing another person into this world who will be totally dependent on me. I think I know how this happened now. . .it was the blue pill that I took with the shot of Patron. . .
Needless to say hubby is ECSTATIC!!! This has been his plan all along! Come to think of it he gave me the blue pill! Ha ha! I have been in a shitty mood everyday exhausted, nauseous, bitchy, craving weird stuff and then not eating it, did I mention exhausted and bitchy? Whatever the case, I'm taking good care of myself and I ask for God's mercy daily and hope that he will bless me with a healthy child at the end of 40 weeks. I'll keep you posted as this journey continues on.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Slowly but Surely
As you can imagine things have been a little crazy ( or crazier than normal) in my world. We're finally trying to regain some sense of normalcy. . .our power came on Thursday evening around 6:30 and the way we found out was hilarious (in retrospect). My husband- bless his heart- had gotten the hook up with a 15,000 watt generator (yeah, he could have powered up the entire street) and he also had an AIR CONDITIONING WINDOW UNIT- I didn't even know they still made those. . .I have no idea where he got this stuff and while I was grateful I was somewhat leery.
I kept thinking something was going to blow up or we'd have carbon monoxide in the house. So, I was extremely paranoid. At one point I was sitting on the couch watching this monster in our backyard with all these cords coming out of it and all of a sudden I hear this grinding sound and I start screaming. . ."Oh, my GAWD it's gonna blow!" Turns out the grinding noise was our GARBAGE DISPOSAL. Someone had flipped the switch and when the power was restored that was the first thing that came on. After I nearly gave my husband a heart attack we started celebrating. We went outside to tell the neighbors who were all outside in their driveways. My son ran out and started yelling, "hey everybody we got lights!"
Although I am EXTREMELY grateful that the power has been restored at our house (we still have friends and family who are without power) and while I did miss it- things weren't that bad when the power was out. We learned to improvise. We stayed closer together. We went to sleep earlier. We talked more. We were still.
Now that the power has been restored we're back to our frenetic pace. Today was my son's first day back at school and he was feeling the pain. He's been on "hurrication" (vacation due to hurricane- heard that on the news last night) and it was hard for that young brother to get it together this morning. As for me, man oh man, I was already struggling to stay on track and now I have to kick it in to the highest gear possible to get caught up before my ridiculous travel schedule (for work) kicks in next month. Next month. . .do yall realize that' s NEXT week?!
AGH!!
I kept thinking something was going to blow up or we'd have carbon monoxide in the house. So, I was extremely paranoid. At one point I was sitting on the couch watching this monster in our backyard with all these cords coming out of it and all of a sudden I hear this grinding sound and I start screaming. . ."Oh, my GAWD it's gonna blow!" Turns out the grinding noise was our GARBAGE DISPOSAL. Someone had flipped the switch and when the power was restored that was the first thing that came on. After I nearly gave my husband a heart attack we started celebrating. We went outside to tell the neighbors who were all outside in their driveways. My son ran out and started yelling, "hey everybody we got lights!"
Although I am EXTREMELY grateful that the power has been restored at our house (we still have friends and family who are without power) and while I did miss it- things weren't that bad when the power was out. We learned to improvise. We stayed closer together. We went to sleep earlier. We talked more. We were still.
Now that the power has been restored we're back to our frenetic pace. Today was my son's first day back at school and he was feeling the pain. He's been on "hurrication" (vacation due to hurricane- heard that on the news last night) and it was hard for that young brother to get it together this morning. As for me, man oh man, I was already struggling to stay on track and now I have to kick it in to the highest gear possible to get caught up before my ridiculous travel schedule (for work) kicks in next month. Next month. . .do yall realize that' s NEXT week?!
AGH!!
Friday, August 1, 2008
Let The Music Play
Sometimes my son and I dance around the house until we are both out of breath. I seriously need to do this EVERYDAY and it would solve my exercise dilemma. Anyway, his two favorite songs are Life is a Highway by Rascal Flatts (it’s the Cars theme song) and My Mic Sounds Nice by Salt-n-Pepa. Ha ha! Eclectic, right?
I play these songs (as well as others) over and over and we sing loud, off key and dance ourselves dizzy. I used to do this a lot by myself when I was a single gal and had my own apartment. I would have CD’s (and CASSETTE TAPES) all over my apartment and I would dance and lip sync in front of the mirror. This was seriously my workout back in the day.
I’ve always had a love affair with music. I love it just about as much as I love reading. Songs have the power to lift you up and make you smile or bring you down and hold you there for a while. I find music to be inspirational and empowering. Sometimes in the ears of the wrong listeners it can also be motivation for madness.
I have a particular affinity for “old school” music. I listen to everything from Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics to What Is Love by Howard Jones to I’ve Been Loving You to Long by Otis Redding to Sweetest Taboo by Sade to Baby Baby Baby by TLC. My most favorite music is anything by Prince in the 80’s and old school hip hop from the 80’s. The 90’s new jack swing era also holds a special place in my heart and I have every CD Jodeci ever made. And do I even need to mention the love for Tupac and Biggie? But oddly enough, I also LOVE Dolly Parton’s theme song from 9 to 5 and I think Kenny Rogers’ song, The Gambler is the best metaphor for life:
You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, Know when to walk away and know when to run.You never count your money when you’re sittin’ at the table.There’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealins done.
As far as current music goes. . .I think Jill Scott is phenomenal and I’m waiting with bated breath for Maxwell’s new CD. I like Raheem DeVaughn and Anthony David. Guess my tastes lately reflect a more “mature” woman. However I do like Lupe Fiasco (or maybe just that Daydreamin’ joint because of Jill Scott). One person I am NOT a fan of at all and I am scratching my head trying to not only figure out what he’s saying but how he got famous is Lil Wayne. Don’t get me wrong -back in my backsliding days I used to love me some Cash Money Millionaires, “Number one stunna- what, what what?” and I even liked Weezy’s first song, “The Block is Hot” but that madness he’s spittin’ lately? I just don’t feel inspired, empowered or entertained by much of the muck on the radio these days. I guess I really am getting old. Whatever. Let me get back to MY music. . .this was my most favorite song to lip sync to. . .okay, so I admit I was lip syncing to it last night! (And YES, I do the choreography complete with pretending to play the drums! Ha ha!)
I play these songs (as well as others) over and over and we sing loud, off key and dance ourselves dizzy. I used to do this a lot by myself when I was a single gal and had my own apartment. I would have CD’s (and CASSETTE TAPES) all over my apartment and I would dance and lip sync in front of the mirror. This was seriously my workout back in the day.
I’ve always had a love affair with music. I love it just about as much as I love reading. Songs have the power to lift you up and make you smile or bring you down and hold you there for a while. I find music to be inspirational and empowering. Sometimes in the ears of the wrong listeners it can also be motivation for madness.
I have a particular affinity for “old school” music. I listen to everything from Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics to What Is Love by Howard Jones to I’ve Been Loving You to Long by Otis Redding to Sweetest Taboo by Sade to Baby Baby Baby by TLC. My most favorite music is anything by Prince in the 80’s and old school hip hop from the 80’s. The 90’s new jack swing era also holds a special place in my heart and I have every CD Jodeci ever made. And do I even need to mention the love for Tupac and Biggie? But oddly enough, I also LOVE Dolly Parton’s theme song from 9 to 5 and I think Kenny Rogers’ song, The Gambler is the best metaphor for life:
You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, Know when to walk away and know when to run.You never count your money when you’re sittin’ at the table.There’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealins done.
As far as current music goes. . .I think Jill Scott is phenomenal and I’m waiting with bated breath for Maxwell’s new CD. I like Raheem DeVaughn and Anthony David. Guess my tastes lately reflect a more “mature” woman. However I do like Lupe Fiasco (or maybe just that Daydreamin’ joint because of Jill Scott). One person I am NOT a fan of at all and I am scratching my head trying to not only figure out what he’s saying but how he got famous is Lil Wayne. Don’t get me wrong -back in my backsliding days I used to love me some Cash Money Millionaires, “Number one stunna- what, what what?” and I even liked Weezy’s first song, “The Block is Hot” but that madness he’s spittin’ lately? I just don’t feel inspired, empowered or entertained by much of the muck on the radio these days. I guess I really am getting old. Whatever. Let me get back to MY music. . .this was my most favorite song to lip sync to. . .okay, so I admit I was lip syncing to it last night! (And YES, I do the choreography complete with pretending to play the drums! Ha ha!)
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Home is Where the Motivation Is
I’ve been a busy bee lately. Work is kicking my butt! I even “worked from home” yesterday to try and get caught up.
I really wish I could work from home 4 days a week and only go into the office 1 day a week. I was so productive yesterday. Not only did I get a lot of work done I was also able to get a lot done around the house. All the clothes are washed and folded (did this while on a conference call), dishwasher loaded (while waiting for stuff to print) and during my “lunch” I went to the grocery store.
I think working from home would really provide me with a better work life balance. Usually my hectic day at home is followed by a hectic commute and by the time I make it home at 6:00 I’ve got to cram in cooking, spending quality time with my family, cleaning the kitchen (cannot got to bed with it dirty- OCD, remember?), bathe my son, put him to bed, talk politics and debrief (ignore the innuendo) with my husband before I yawn 100 times and drift off into a fitful sleep.
Not to mention when I’m at work I don’t get nearly the same amount of work done due to the constant interruptions, Internet surfing and long lunches.
(Of course the key to successfully working from home means my son has to go to his daycare school otherwise I’d have to find thirty minutes to play or color with him.)
Anyway, I think I might propose working from home a couple of days a week to our department Director. . .might even put a spin on it about me trying to do my part to save the environment by having one less car on the road. Seriously, I think that might win me some points with her.
I’m in the office today. .. tried to keep up the momentum from working at home yesterday but so far, I am failing miserably.
I really wish I could work from home 4 days a week and only go into the office 1 day a week. I was so productive yesterday. Not only did I get a lot of work done I was also able to get a lot done around the house. All the clothes are washed and folded (did this while on a conference call), dishwasher loaded (while waiting for stuff to print) and during my “lunch” I went to the grocery store.
I think working from home would really provide me with a better work life balance. Usually my hectic day at home is followed by a hectic commute and by the time I make it home at 6:00 I’ve got to cram in cooking, spending quality time with my family, cleaning the kitchen (cannot got to bed with it dirty- OCD, remember?), bathe my son, put him to bed, talk politics and debrief (ignore the innuendo) with my husband before I yawn 100 times and drift off into a fitful sleep.
Not to mention when I’m at work I don’t get nearly the same amount of work done due to the constant interruptions, Internet surfing and long lunches.
(Of course the key to successfully working from home means my son has to go to his daycare school otherwise I’d have to find thirty minutes to play or color with him.)
Anyway, I think I might propose working from home a couple of days a week to our department Director. . .might even put a spin on it about me trying to do my part to save the environment by having one less car on the road. Seriously, I think that might win me some points with her.
I’m in the office today. .. tried to keep up the momentum from working at home yesterday but so far, I am failing miserably.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Ow!
Can you believe June is here already?! Happy Birthday to K.B.! Dare I say it, Christmas will be here before you know it! Why did time seem to move at a snail's pace when I was a kid and now it's a total blur?!
I often want to just get off the merry go round and sit on the sidelines and watch my life as it stays on a perpetual loop of chaos! (But I guess then I wouldn't be living. . .only existing.) Oh, but be careful what I wish for! I was actually sidelined this weekend as my injury resurfaced! My elbow is pretty much locked and if I try to move my arm out of the ONE position it feels "okay" in, I find myself in serious pain. The orthopedist told me if I was back in a couple of weeks I would have to get a Cortisone shot. I'm okay with that. But he said if the shot doesn't work then SURGERY is the third option. That, I'm NOT okay with. . .
It sure ain't easy being cheesy especially when you're old and decrepit!
I often want to just get off the merry go round and sit on the sidelines and watch my life as it stays on a perpetual loop of chaos! (But I guess then I wouldn't be living. . .only existing.) Oh, but be careful what I wish for! I was actually sidelined this weekend as my injury resurfaced! My elbow is pretty much locked and if I try to move my arm out of the ONE position it feels "okay" in, I find myself in serious pain. The orthopedist told me if I was back in a couple of weeks I would have to get a Cortisone shot. I'm okay with that. But he said if the shot doesn't work then SURGERY is the third option. That, I'm NOT okay with. . .
It sure ain't easy being cheesy especially when you're old and decrepit!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Crush and I'm not talking about soda. . .
I need to get my priorities together. . .but I just had to put this out there. . .I'm happily married and all but I have to admit I have this odd fascination. . .actually it's a huge crush on ANDREW DAN- JUMBO. . .I don't know if it's the accent, the carpentry skill or that he is the perfect blend of rugged and KEY-UTE. Man, I need to start cruising the aisles of Home Depot and see if I can't get the Take Home Handyman to come to my house and help hubby with some reno projects! Then again I don't think my husband would take too kindly to my drooling. So, I guess that's just a fantasy deferred.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Not-So Guilty Conscience
I'm at home right now. Actually I've been at home for almost an hour. ALONE. Aah, it feels WONDERFUL. I went to work at another location and got off two hours early and did not have one iota of guilt when I passed right by (literally) my son's school and kept going. It wasn't even a consideration to go and pick him up early.
I love that little boy and his father, dearly but I am so in heaven right now relishing two hours of alone time at home. It's a true rarity around this camp that I don't have someone in my face or underfoot. I stopped by the GAS STATION (because I was too lazy to drive three red lights down to the grocery store) and bought a big bag of Tostito's and a 16 ounce Sprite for $5.79! Then I came home opened up two beautifully ripe avocados mixed in some garlic salt, ground pepper and lime juice and made myself some guacamole!
At this very moment I feel so sick to my stomach because I SCARFED down all but about three bites. But man was it good! I was going to go crazy and relax in a hot bubble bath for 40 minutes but my husband is having a rough day at work that might not end at 5:00 so, I am almost certain I will have to go and pick up The Genius. It's all good. These two hours alone have been fabulous and I'm totally decompressed from my day. I guess I could have been a bit more productive and started dinner. . .oh, but wait I had dinner already (guacamole and chips is quite a meal) looks like the boys are on their own tonight!
BTW- T-Ball ended last week. That is why this time has been so special because I no longer have T-Ball Thursdays to look forward to for ME time. . .so this was a great "make up" day!
I love that little boy and his father, dearly but I am so in heaven right now relishing two hours of alone time at home. It's a true rarity around this camp that I don't have someone in my face or underfoot. I stopped by the GAS STATION (because I was too lazy to drive three red lights down to the grocery store) and bought a big bag of Tostito's and a 16 ounce Sprite for $5.79! Then I came home opened up two beautifully ripe avocados mixed in some garlic salt, ground pepper and lime juice and made myself some guacamole!
At this very moment I feel so sick to my stomach because I SCARFED down all but about three bites. But man was it good! I was going to go crazy and relax in a hot bubble bath for 40 minutes but my husband is having a rough day at work that might not end at 5:00 so, I am almost certain I will have to go and pick up The Genius. It's all good. These two hours alone have been fabulous and I'm totally decompressed from my day. I guess I could have been a bit more productive and started dinner. . .oh, but wait I had dinner already (guacamole and chips is quite a meal) looks like the boys are on their own tonight!
BTW- T-Ball ended last week. That is why this time has been so special because I no longer have T-Ball Thursdays to look forward to for ME time. . .so this was a great "make up" day!
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Another Year
In ten days I will have another birthday, God willing. I will leave behind an age and a year that I will never get back. As I think about how profound that is. . .that I will never be this age again- EVER. I pause and contemplate, was it a worthwhile year? Did I live enough, do enough, love enough?
Since my last birthday I've:
Since my last birthday I've:
- Visited the Bahamas, San Francisco, Nashville, Disneyworld and New York
- Lost ten pounds and gained six
- Read twenty books
- Started this blog
- Walked in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure
- Donated time and money to various charities
- Made peace with my vocation
- Prayed more
- Experienced the death of my biological father
- Taken my son to the library once a month
- Done some home improvements
- Survived strep throat
- Finished three college credit courses
- Published a book!
Wow, I didn't realize I'd experienced so much until I wrote it all down. I think I focus way too much on all the things I want to do and things I haven't done instead of appreciating and celebrating all the things I have done. As I enter this new year of my life, I vow to try to be the best person, wife, mother, sister and friend that I can be and not worry about what others are around me are doing. I vow to start living life at my pace and relish all of the opportunities and encounters that come my way.
I thank God for my health- both mental and physical- the health of my family and for the gift of another year to live on this Earth. No need to make any wishes this year- I've got everything I could ask for plus a lot more that I probably don't deserve and I am extremely grateful!
Here's my theme song for the year ahead!
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