It took me three tries to sign on to this blog. Forgot my user name and password. Pathetic. I've been away much longer than I anticipated. Blame Facebook! I was addicted for a minute. I think I might still be addicted . . .jury is still out. But anyway, I was reading over some of my older posts on this blog and got a little tickled. So, I was inspired to add a new post. Not sure how many more will follow but I just thought I'd start. . .
A LOT has happened since April and the arrival of The Princess. First of all, you might want to sit down for this one- can you believe she is already EIGHT MONTHS OLD?! I can't! And to whoever thought I was announcing another pregnancy: BITE ME! Ha ha! See I haven't lost my sense of humour.
Anyway, life has changed DRASTICALLY, I swear I blink and the days just keep passing sometimes without my active participation. My son is now in kindergarten, I'm back to working full time, finished a semester of school and the ICING on the Sock It To Me cake that is my life- is that my dear husband got a quasi-promotion at work that requires him to be out of town three days a week every other week. So on those weeks I refer to myself as a single, married mother. I don't think he likes the terminology but if the shoe fits. . .it gets extremely overwhelming sometimes and my biggest fear is that life is rushing by so fast that I'm not giving "enough" to my kids. Everything is such a damn routine. Homework, dinner, bath, story, bed time. Repeat. Agh! I hate it. I am thisclose to biting the bullet and just becoming a stay at home mom. They still make Spam, right? Ooh, with Ramen noodles. Yum.
So, I'm back for a minute to wish everyone in the blogosphere a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and a safe, healthy, prosperous New Year. Live, laugh and love life! And come back. . .I might start kicking it here again. I have so much more material now ;-).
The Genius and The Princess in the photo after take 57. . .not bad.
Okay, I know in the beginning when I found out about our little accident, er, I mean blessing from God. . . I had hoped it would be another boy. My thought was that a boy would be "easier" since I've already experienced parenting a boy up to age 4.
Well, now I cannot wait for more estrogen to enter our household! My son is slowly evolving from a sweet, docile little mama's boy into a straight up maniac! If he's not jumping from the highest point in the house (apparently thinking he can fly!) he's running through the house screaming battle cries and doing high kicking karate. Often he won't respond to you unless you address him by his superhero name or unless you know the secret password.
I know that for the most part this is normal "boy" behavior but I am in such unfamiliar territory. I grew up in a single mother household with a sister. We operated on emotion and logic. Right now my son is operating on pure IMAGINATION! I think he sees something else in his mind instead of what's real. Like perhaps when he jumps off the top of the couch he sees himself landing in an ocean or perhaps a bed of soft cotton instead of hardwood floors! This boy has banged his head, foot, arm, knees and shoulder so many times in the past few months I am shocked he hasn't broken a bone yet.
Ah, the joys of boys. . .WHATEVER. He's nutty as a can of Planter's! I can't wait for my little princess to make her debut. I'm actually looking forward to Barbie dolls, tea parties and manicures! And I know pink is kind of passe when it comes to being the color of choice for girls but I cannot wait to buy a cute PINK frilly dress with a bunch of flowers and lace that screams I AM A GIRL!!! Ha ha! I do absolutely ADORE my son but I can't wait to even things out in our household.
I am confused about something. Why is it when some people decide life is not worth living anymore they also make that decision for others? I seriously don’t understand the murder-suicide phenomenon. I hate my life so much that not only am I going to kill myself but I don’t want you to live either so, I guess I hate your life too???
I mean if a person is so determined to end their life then DO IT and claim that one way ticket to hell. But by all means don’t take other folks with you! I was shocked to hear about the man in L.A. who killed his family and then himself. How in the hell do you kill FIVE little children, your wife and then yourself? Because he got laid off (I think his wife also lost her job). Sorry if this sounds crass but if he really wanted to turn a selfish act into a selfless act he should have found away to terminate his life that would appear to be an “accident” and then perhaps his family could have collected some type of insurance policy. I’m just sayin’. . .
The other thing that shocked me is that this was a BLACK man. Surely he was aware there were other options. Was he that proud or just an idiot? I’m thinking the latter. I have had some low points in my life, which when you really think about it is what makes life well. . .life. You have peaks and valleys. It’s never perfect and there are ALWAYS tests of strength, will and faith that you have to get through and I guess it’s true that only the strongest survive. The weak apparently take their lives (and the lives of others) because they figure it’s easier. Like I said, I’ve had some low points but NEVER, EVER, NEVER would I ever kill myself.
In all honesty I can say that I’ve thought about what “life” would be without me. Would I be missed? But those thoughts always had to do with me either never having been born or dying of some natural cause. I can barely swallow those big ass prenatal vitamins so I know I couldn’t take any pills. I would never try to shoot myself because what if my aim is slightly off and I become paralyzed instead? And why in the world would someone stick a knife in their chest over and over? I like to think I have a high tolerance for pain but come on. It just doesn’t make sense to me.
Life is already short enough and regardless to how much we dread it or even fight it the fact is we will ALL die someday anyway- why hurry along the process. Find the light, the love and the goodness in life and enjoy it while you can. Sorrow don't last always. . .
I felt compelled to write this post this morning before I started my work day. I have always really liked John Travolta. Not saying that I'm a big fan but I do enjoy his work. At the risk of dating myself, I remember original episodes of Welcome Back Kotterand I found his ditzy Vinnie Barbarino character adorable. Not a big fan of Saturday Night Fever but loved him in Grease (I'on care who you are, you KNOW you had at least two songs memorized from that movie!) But one of my favorite roles of his was from Face Off with Nicolas Cage. I know I've seen that movie at least ten times!
So when I heard about his son, Jett (whose name I knew from seeing him in random interviews and he mentioned him practically every time) dying for some reason it really pierced my heart. I'm sure it's mainly because I'm a mother and I don't ever want to think about my son leaving this Earth before me. . .but also because it was so apparent that he absolutely adored his son. It is so tragic for a life to be taken so young (16) and I pray that the Travolta family can get through this tragedy.
Ho, ho, hum. . . . Well, another Christmas bites the dust! The madness and the mayhem was over within a matter of hours. I enjoyed this Christmas and tried to take it easy because, God-willing, next year I will have TWO children at Christmas- AGH! So, I enjoyed just having to focus on one child and play one game of pretend instead of being stretched between two children and feeling like I'm not devoting an equal amount of time.
Now that the holidays are about over I am starting to focus on how my life is about to drastically change in FOURTEEN short weeks! And I doubt seriously that I will even have time to take a breath. . .in addition to New Year's, my husband is running the Houston-Chevron marathon in January, hubby's birthday (along with 2 nieces, my moms, & only aunt birthdays) is in February, my son's b-day is in March and then BAM! Baby girl is due in April. OMG! People have been asking me about names. . .I am sooooo far away from thinking about names it's not even funny. I think I'll probably get it together after my son's b-day (March 2nd) maybe. . .I really need to FOCUS! I tell you what I am looking forward to the MOST (besides having a healthy baby) is taking THREE MONTHS off after my delivery!!! I am exhausted!!! Okay, I'm getting tired just thinking about it. . .
Instead I'll share my favorite story from Christmas. Christmas Eve to be exact. My son, got a ridiculous amount of STUFF from my family (as usual) and as he was opening his presents I was taking them and hiding them in the closet- because we open family presents at midnight and afterwards he needs to go to bed so Santa can make an appearance. One of the presents he received was a Batman shaving kit. It came with all the fake razors and a small can of foam a.k.a shaving cream.
After my family packed up and left (around 12:45am) I told my son it was time to go to sleep so that Santa could stop by and he started to have a MELT DOWN!!!! He had big crocodile tears and he was saying, "But I have to do something first," And I'm like- WHAT YOU COULD POSSIBLY HAVE TO DO AT 1:00 IN THE MORNING?!?! He started stuttering and blubbering that he: NEEDED TO SHAVE!!!!!! Bwahahahahahaha! He was sooooooo serious and looking so pitiful but I bust out laughing!!!! My husband didn't find it as hilarious. He told him he could shave in the morning and proceeded to march him upstairs. In less than three seconds he was out cold. He didn't wake up the next morning until almost 9:00!!! After he checked out what Santa left for him, he ran back upstairs to SHAVE!!! (I'll post pictures later).
I was still beyond exhausted so after playing one round of Power Rangers I went back to sleep. As I was nodding off that movie, A Christmas Story was on t.v. When I woke up it was still on so I thought I had only slept about twenty minutes- turns out the show was on a continuous 24 hour Christmas marathon loop and I had almost slept through it TWICE.
Now, I'm back at work still a little out of it. . .good thing Christmas only comes once a year because if it was more than once a year, I'd be celebrating Hanukkah!
Hope everyone had a safe and happy Christmas!!! I wish you much peace, love and exponential blessings for 2009!!!!
Yesterday, my co-worker was going on and on about how she thought I was such a wonderful mother and that I seem to have found such a perfect balance in my life. I swear I just stared at her blankly for a few minutes because I thought she was gonna start laughing and say, “SIKE!” If anyone perceives that I have perfected “balance” in my life let me set the record straight: IT’S ALL SMOKE & MIRRORS.
I think one of the lessons I have learned- begrudgingly- since I got married and had a child is that, unfortunately, life is not all about ME anymore and that I have to put my selfishness aside. Armed with this knowledge, I have been able to avoid a lot of frustration and disappointment. Don’t get me wrong I still feel extremely overwhelmed from time to time but when I do, I just breathe and think whether or not it’s worth me losing my mind. And sometimes I TOTALLY fly off the handle to get my point across and to let the people in my life know without a shadow of a doubt : she’s kinda crazy. It’s been my secret weapon for years! :-)
Another thing that has really given me more sense of “balance” in my life is accepting my job for what it is. A job. It is not my “career”. I do not have delusions of grandeur or thoughts of climbing the corporate ladder. For the most part, I enjoy what I do and I when I am here I give 100% (it ain’t brain surgery, though) but I do NOT work overtime (I am salaried and don’t get paid for it), I don’t take any of the b.s. or politics home with me (I’m too busy pretending to be a Power Ranger with my son), and I don’t get involved in office cliques (I’m too damn old for that).
So, I have relieved an incredible amount of stress from my plate by not letting my job consume me or my time. For the first time in my life, I feel like I have options and I could work here or not and it’s not going to cripple me or my lifestyle so the way I see it, my job is pretty lucky to have me, not the other way around. And I say that strongly even in the current economic environment.
Besides I’m only one person and there is no way I can give all of myself completely to my job or to my husband or even to my son. It’s just not humanly possible. And there are times that I still feel like I am failing miserably in some area in my life but I just try to do better the next day. I want my mind to be strong and sound for decades to come so, I can’t afford to start losing bits and pieces of it now. One thing that is out of balance is the weather in Houston. We keep going from 40 to 77 degrees (and vice versa) overnight! Here's a picture of my son playing in the snow from last week!
When Tyler Perry's movie came out earlier this year I ran to the theater to see it- not because I'm huge fan of Mr. Perry's (although I do think his accomplishments are phenomenal) nor because I was a big fan of anyone in the cast. I ran out to see it so that I could perhaps gain some understanding of this thing called marriage. Sadly, I wasn't given any insight- no more than I already had, which is not saying much.
I've been married six years and while it seems like a lifetime to me, it's nothing when I think about people who've been married 50 plus years or even my own sister who got married at 18 and has been married 17 years. I guess part of the secret to a long marriage is either marrying the "right" person to begin with or having the fortitude to deal with whatever bullshit comes your way and not give in or give up.
But I wonder what happens when the person you thought was "right" changes in to someone all wrong. Or perhaps you change and that person is no longer what you need. How do you deal with that? Will you constantly be forced to change who you are or suppress your true needs in an effort to make things "work"? And then when children are thrown into the mix-man- I think most of the time couples find themselves trying get along just for the children's sake but meanwhile their (the couple) relationship is suffering.
I think what honestly happens in most marriages is that as men and women we get settled into these roles. The man is supposed to take care of the house, fix the cars, cut the grass, etc. While the woman makes the house a home, decorating, cleaning, cooking, washing, etc. Eventually these roles become very lopsided and one person- usually the woman- is doing WAY more. ESPECIALLY if she works full time AND has a child.
So, then the woman voices her need for some assistance and perhaps because she's fed up with having to pick up dirty socks off the floor everyday, the request may sound more like a complaint. So now she is tagged as a "nagger" (gasp!). Simply because she wants her mate to pick up after himself. And the unraveling begins. . .
Most men talk about wanting an "independent" woman or a woman who is successful or ambitious but I think they also want that same woman to cater to them. You can't have it both ways. Women like that want a man to cater to them. And some of us are so selfish in our relationships that we establish a "quid pro quo" rule. If you do this. . .then I'll do that. Instead of doing something for your mate and not expecting a damn thing in return. I am more than sure there are married couples out there who operate on the no expectations principle but more often than not I'm sure their efforts are reciprocated by their spouse. But there are probably also those unions where one person is doing all the giving and the other is being a selfish receiver.
I started this post because I was beyond PISSED at my husband. And as I washed out a RANCID skillet that he scrambled eggs in on Sunday (yes, today is WEDNESDAY) and buried at the bottom of the sink still full of eggs that stuck to the pan. I began having these thoughts that if I was SINGLE I wouldn't be washing out this stinky ass skillet or having to waste time cleaning up instead of DOING HOMEWORK, which is why I am off on Wednesdays, so that I can catch up on homework and attend class! But instead of finishing two quizzes online and getting ready for my 1:00 class here I am cleaning up because apparently I am the only person in this house that cares whether or not mushrooms start growing up through the floor! And don't even get me started on wiping PEE from the top of the closed toilet lid. I only have one thing to say. When I pee I am 99.99% sure it is going IN the toilet.
ARGH!! There are times when I consider myself extremely blessed to be married and have a family, my health, a home and a decent paying job. And there are other times like today when I wonder "why did I get married" and where would I be in this moment if my time, my life and my future were my own and not tied to another person?
But I am married and I know why I did it: L-O-V-E. I married a great guy and although I want to tie him up and stuff him in a closet sometimes- I do love him. And we've created a great family that we will (God willing ) be adding to pretty soon. So, I will more than likely mention the skillet episode to him. He will more than likely down play it. I will more than likely get mad and keep stressing how disgusting it was. He will more than likely tell me that I need to give it a rest. I will more than likely tell him to go hell. We won't speak for thirty minutes. We'll go have a nice dinner out with my son to wish my husband good luck on the Philadelphia Marathon this weekend. And it will be over.
I guess I probably should just let it go since I am getting a TREAT this weekend. My husband leaves tomorrow morning for Philly (he has relatives there) and won't be back until MONDAY! Woohoo!! Maybe a little taste of "single life" is just what this married girl needs!
I LOVE this song by Anita Baker. . .I thought it was appropriate for this post. No more fairytales! Marriage can be wonderful but it is HARD WORK! I plan on hanging in there for the long haul! :-)
I am STILL reeling. . . . I KNEW there was no way he would lose but man, he REALLY won!!!!
Now we've got some serious work to do, people we gotta help a brother out and do our part to get this country on the right track. You can start in your own home with initiatives like recycling or carpooling to help impact the environment, invest in the stock market even though it's down (it WILL be back up) to help stimulate the economy, mentor a child or volunteer in an underprivileged area to help save one young person from any pitfalls that lie ahead. Don't be passive and wait on President Obama to be a savior otherwise you will be thoroughly disappointed. His win should inspire you to want to do and be more not expect him to fix the world.
If his Presidency is considered a failure it's because WE (as a country and a people) failed. Be encouraged and do your part!
Happy Halloween!!! I've posted a preview of the tonight's costume. . .what else would TheGenius be but a POWER RANGER?! He woke up at the crack of dawn this morning all excited because today is "pajama party" day at his school and he got to wear his "cool" Batman pajamas- two superheroes in one day?! Life doesn't get any better than that!
We sat together this morning and watched the sunrise since he woke up so early. I was late to work but who cares? That was a priceless, special moment. I know people say this and then go on love their other children just as much BUT as I was sitting watching the sunrise with my son, witnessing the wonder on his face and hearing the excitement in his voice as he talked about his upcoming party, I started thinking to myself, "there is no way this second child will be nearly as special and awesome as this one," I KNOW, I KNOW. . .that's horrible, right? But this new baby seriously has a tough act to follow so far.
I just hope and pray that baby number 2 arrives (God willing) healthy first and foremost but I also hope that we at least have another laid back, go with the flow kinda kid that just meshes with the family dynamic we've established. The last thing I need is a high maintenance, drama prince or princess. I seriously don't know if I'd be able to deal. My husband is super laid back and unflappable (for the most part) and I am about the most low-to no maintenance chick around. And usually when you give my son a choice to do something, go somewhere or wear something he says, "whatever you want me to do Mom," LOVE IT!! I just get this feeling that this baby is gonna come along and shake us up and mess up our little cocoon of comfort! Ha ha!
Anyway, enough of my baby bashing- already giving this unborn kid a complex! I hope all of you have a SAFE and Happy Halloween!!!
Man, I totally forgot I even had a blog! ;-p It even took me two tries on the password. So much for trying to blog once a week this month. . .this month has been totally insane. Here's the recap:
1. Traveled to six different locations for annual enrollment meetings at work.
2. Verbally assaulted by wonderful co-workers in Newark. Such a classy bunch.
3. Got snowed on in Salt Lake City. Seriously, snowflakes in my hair!! Needless to say I was semi-afroed for the remainder of the trip.
4. Was able to fly first class to Orlando after sitting in airport for 2 1/2 hour delay due to weather.
5. Tomorrow will mark my 16th week of pregnancy. . .
Yep, I know who cares about 1 through 4, more on this number 5 bombshell. First of all, I am very hesitant to even talk about my pregnancy because if God forbid, something goes wrong and I don't deliver a healthy baby or any baby for that matter on April 13th then I'll have to address my feelings about that. . .which might not be a bad thing. . .
But I digress, I am expecting and this was TOTALLY unplanned and I have been in denial for three months. Especially after this tirade. Still scratching my head on how this happened. . .I mean I KNOW how it happened but still. . .anyway, I'm getting a little excited and will also get FIXED when this is over. I thought one was enough but I'm certain TWO will do! I think I'm most excited for my son. He will have a sibling and get the opportunity to impart his wisdom on another human being who will think he hung the moon. He will also get a chance to boss someone around, blame things on and from time to time be best their friend. I can't imagine my life without my sister and hopefully he will develop that kind of bond with his un-gender known sibling as well.
We haven't really specifically told him that he's going to be a big brother but we've spoken more in hypothetical terms and he is beyond excited at the prospect. He even has every one's role figured out. He will feed the baby, I will change the pee-pee diapers and daddy will change the poopie diapers. I love that plan! I think the age spread between the two will be perfect also because my son will be old enough not to still want to be a "baby" and require so much of my attention so, I'm hoping there won't be much jealousy or regression. Besides my " first baby" will be starting KINDERGARTEN next year! (She says throwing herself on floor and crying hysterically) I cannot believe how fast the time flew by. . .and to think just when I got him all trained to be semi-self-sufficient here I go bringing another person into this world who will be totally dependent on me. I think I know how this happened now. . .it was the blue pill that I took with the shot of Patron. . .
Needless to say hubby is ECSTATIC!!! This has been his plan all along! Come to think of it he gave me the blue pill! Ha ha! I have been in a shitty mood everyday exhausted, nauseous, bitchy, craving weird stuff and then not eating it, did I mention exhausted and bitchy? Whatever the case, I'm taking good care of myself and I ask for God's mercy daily and hope that he will bless me with a healthy child at the end of 40 weeks. I'll keep you posted as this journey continues on.
As you can imagine things have been a little crazy ( or crazier than normal) in my world. We're finally trying to regain some sense of normalcy. . .our power came on Thursday evening around 6:30 and the way we found out was hilarious (in retrospect). My husband- bless his heart- had gotten the hook up with a 15,000 watt generator (yeah, he could have powered up the entire street) and he also had an AIR CONDITIONING WINDOW UNIT- I didn't even know they still made those. . .I have no idea where he got this stuff and while I was grateful I was somewhat leery.
I kept thinking something was going to blow up or we'd have carbon monoxide in the house. So, I was extremely paranoid. At one point I was sitting on the couch watching this monster in our backyard with all these cords coming out of it and all of a sudden I hear this grinding sound and I start screaming. . ."Oh, my GAWD it's gonna blow!" Turns out the grinding noise was our GARBAGE DISPOSAL. Someone had flipped the switch and when the power was restored that was the first thing that came on. After I nearly gave my husband a heart attack we started celebrating. We went outside to tell the neighbors who were all outside in their driveways. My son ran out and started yelling, "hey everybody we got lights!"
Although I am EXTREMELY grateful that the power has been restored at our house (we still have friends and family who are without power) and while I did miss it- things weren't that bad when the power was out. We learned to improvise. We stayed closer together. We went to sleep earlier. We talked more. We were still.
Now that the power has been restored we're back to our frenetic pace. Today was my son's first day back at school and he was feeling the pain. He's been on "hurrication" (vacation due to hurricane- heard that on the news last night) and it was hard for that young brother to get it together this morning. As for me, man oh man, I was already struggling to stay on track and now I have to kick it in to the highest gear possible to get caught up before my ridiculous travel schedule (for work) kicks in next month. Next month. . .do yall realize that' s NEXT week?!
Hurricane Ike has come and gone. It tore through Galveston and Houston like a beast on a rampage. Praise God, my family and I are okay. So are the majority of friends that I have been able to contact. We sustained minimal damage to the outside of our house and that's it. No electricity but the weather was great last night and it was our first night back home.
Not sure how much longer we'll stay without power. . .hope the 4 week rumors aren't true. I'm at work today trying to regain some sense of normalcy. At least there's electricity and INTERNET at work! It is surreal to see all of the landmarks I'm familiar with in the city (on my side of town) torn down or hanging by a thread. Ike beat up the city pretty bad. . . but I know H-Town will bounce back in no time at all. It's a big ass inconvenience right now but it could have been so much worse.
My son, just realized the severity of the situation when we were returning home yesterday (we sought refuge in New Braunfels and Katy)- the playground structure in front of his school is GONE! He gasped and his eyes widened (even larger) and he said in his most devastated voice, "Oh, no the hurricane took our playground what are we gonna do?!"
To have a child's priorities. . .hope anyone who was in the area during the hurricane survived and all is well with you and your loved ones.
After doing some research and watching programs on television advocating for the reduction of our carbon footprint on the Earth, our family has decided to start recycling plastic containers.
We drink a lot of bottled water and my husband drinks a lot of Gatorade, even my son’s Juicy Juice containers are recyclable. I’m sure a better option would be to get a filtration system to avoid buying plastic water bottles and we could get reusable containers for our water. But you gotta crawl before you can walk. . .
So, we are setting up a slim garbage can in the garage for plastic bottles. We’ve explained this entire initiative and why we’re doing it to my son and he’s quite excited. Although he initially thought we could recycle everything plastic including bags, which is a no-no. Once a week I will drop the containers off at the large center in our neighborhood on my way to work. I’m hoping this is a habit we can start and keep!!
This is just a small step (one of many) we plan on making in the coming years to do our part to help save the planet. Here are some recycling facts from http://www.earth911.org/:
--In 2006, Americans drank about 167 bottles of water each, but only recycled an average of 23 percent. That leaves 38 billion water bottles in landfills. --Bottled water costs between $1 and $4 per gallon and 90 percent of the cost is in the bottle, lid and label. --According to the Beverage Marketing Corp, the average American consumed 1.6 gallons of bottled water in 1976. In 2006 that number jumped to 28.3 gallons. --It takes over 1.5 million barrels of oil to manufacture a year’s supply of bottled water. That’s enough oil to fuel 100,000 cars. --Eight out of 10 plastic water bottles become landfill waste. --In 2007 we spent $16 billion on bottled water. That’s more than we spent on iPods or movie tickets. --Plastic bottles take 700 years before they begin to decompose in a landfill. --If everyone in NYC gave up water bottles for one week they would save 24 million bottles from being landfilled; one month would save 112 million bottles and one year would save 1.328 billion bottles from going into the landfill.
My son spent the weekend with my aunt and for the first time in four years my husband and I were the only occupants in our house for more than 24 hours. Usually if he stays with my aunt or my sister is because we’re out of town or he will be gone just over night. But this time we dropped him off Saturday and he won’t be home until tonight.
It was the weirdest feeling. My husband and I both remarked that it felt like something was missing. He is such a huge part of our lives and when he’s home there is constant noise, hustle and bustle. But for an entire day it was just the two of us. I think so often when you get married and have children your marriage becomes more about parenting than anything else. The kids are at the forefront of your conversations and a big part of your social outings. They become your “life” on a lot of different levels.
That’s why I think it is very important that parents allow themselves some alone time (whether you are single or married) to reconnect with the person you were before your children came into your life. Granted, I know for some people their children saved their lives and they wouldn’t want to go back to the person they were but I guess what I’m trying to say is get in touch with who YOU are and the things you like and what you want to do. Because our children are only ours for a brief time; when it’s all said and done we will have to let them go so they can live their own lives.
My husband and I enjoyed the peace and tranquility of our house and we spent the entire day together shopping for furniture and groceries. Although we missed our son, it was great to spend some quality time together. He will return tonight and our family routine will happily resume and we will probably wonder how we got along with out him.
I’m back from my weekend getaway in California. My husband and I took my son to the Golden State to get away from the Southern heat, humidity and RAIN this past weekend. We mainly visited beaches on our short journey (Manhattan, Santa Monica & Venice) but we also did the tourist thing and headed to Hollywood Blvd. to check out the stars on the Walk of Fame, took pictures at the Hollywood Vista point (good spot to photograph the Hollywood sign although the drive up Mulholland is treacherous!), and we drove down Rodeo Drive (didn’t see any celebs though). A highlight of the trip was eating at Sizzler! Ha ha! Don’t laugh! That was a big deal in H-Town when I was 16 but the buffets ran them out of town so, it was a bit of a nostalgic trip to get the steak and endless shrimp with the all you can eat salad bar. Reason number 4,576 why I need to go on a diet right now!!!
Anyway, even though the trip was brief it was nice and relaxing and helped me focus even more on what’s important in life. God, family and love. Nothing more, nothing less. I am so grateful for so many things and as I stared out at the majesty of the Pacific ocean I started to compile a list in my head of what I’m most grateful for:
1. Being in God’s favor 2. A husband who adores me 3. The unconditional love of my son 4. My sister (for incessant laughter) 5. Sight 6. Mental health (some days ;-) 7. Physical health 8. Freedom 9. Books 10. Chocolate
I had another post prepared but right before I was about to publish it I changed my mind and decided to compose this post instead.
A very dear friend of mine lost her baby yesterday. She had two previous miscarriages and after carrying a baby full term -40 weeks and 2 days- she went into the hospital for an emergency C-section and the umbilical cord had strangled the baby in utero.
I have never known anyone including myself who wanted a baby as bad as she did and I am beyond devastated and heartbroken for her and her husband. She is the kindest, generous and most genuine person I know and to say she would have been a good mother is an understatement. I don't know if they are planning to try again or not. . .but if I could ask God one question it would be why does something like this happen to someone like her and there are other people I know that have babies and abortions like it's nothing and then they don't provide the right environment for the child when they get here and . . .I know you can't question God. . .maybe he has bigger plans for my friend that may not include motherhood.
I pray for my friend, her husband and her family that they are able to get through this tough time. In the meantime I implore all readers who stop by (I have site meter so I know you're looking you're just not commenting) if you have children- hold them tight, love them right and thank God for the blessing daily. I know I take for granted sometimes that my son is healthy, he's smart, he's well adjusted, and that he's even alive. But I want to take this opportunity to throw praises up to God for making it all so, in Jesus name, Amen!
The other day my son and I were coloring pages in his coloring book and I flipped to the cover to see how the characters looked to make sure I colored them just right. My son asked, "What are you doing?" I replied, "Looking to see what color Tyrone's shirt is supposed to be," He stopped coloring looked at me and said, "Mama, use your imagination it can be any color you want it to be. You don't have to do it like everybody else,"
My mouth hung open. It hung open even wider when I asked, "Who told you that," his reply: "You did,"
Wow. Not only does he listen to me but apparently I am a hypocrite who doles out advice but doesn't follow it. Several people have been quoted in various languages I'm sure about the importance of walking the talk and action speaking louder than words. I wonder then how often I send my son mixed messages. I'm always telling him to try his best meanwhile I complain that I'm not getting anything accomplished. Am I trying my best?
A simple activity like coloring served as the wake up call I desperately needed. I can't expect my son to take anything I say seriously if I'm not following my own rules and advice. Starting today I pledge to arm him with information to help him on his journey and to also practice what I preach so, that I can have positive examples to SHOW him when he questions whether or not mama know what she's talking about.
My reason for creating this blog was two-fold: to share my parenting/life experiences and to try and hone my writing skills. I do not purport to know everything or anything for that matter about life or parenting. These are simply my experiences and observations.
However I have made other wildly random observations that led me to write today’s post. Because sometimes you don’t have any answers just all the questions:
1. Why is it when you really don’t want to be bothered with someone they suddenly want to talk to you and ask you all sorts of random things that you could careless about? 2. Why is it in 2008 there are black people who still appear to think being “light skinned” automatically makes someone attractive? 3. Why do men always get caught in lies? 4. Why do people who are abrasive and rude always get their feelings hurt so easily? 5. Why does food that is the unhealthiest for you taste so good? 6. Why do children instantly mock your bad behavior? 7. Why isn’t the rest of the world like children under five who see no “race” (when they are playing everyone is their friend)? 8. Why did Michael Jackson go crazy? 9. Why did Tupac, Biggie, Aaliyah and Left Eye have to die? 10. Why are so-called “Christians” the biggest hypocrites on Earth? 11. Why does your elderly relative still treat you like you’re ten when you’re almost forty with kids of your own? 12. Why does America cater to non-English speaking folks? 13. Why isn’t educating children a top priority in this country? 14. Why do some people buy their children name brand clothing before they can even read? 15. Why do mothers carry around so much guilt? 16. Why do we waste our time, energy and LIFE doing things we really don’t want to do? 17. Why do we set bad examples for our chilren but expect better behavior from them?
I recently received an e-mail titled "Life's Laundry List" and it was a list of 45 things to remember as you celebrate growing older. The list was compiled by Regina Brett and served as a reminder to remember what's important as we travel through this thing called Life! Here are a few of my favorites:
Make peace with your past so that it won't screw up the present
Don't compare your life to others, you have no idea what their journey is all about
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks
Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful
No one is charge of your happiness except you
What other people think of you is none of your business
Don't audit life. Show up and make the best of it now
Envy is a waste of time you already have all you need
It took me three tries to sign on to this blog. Forgot my user name and password. Pathetic. I've been away much longer than I anticipated. Blame Facebook! I was addicted for a minute. I think I might still be addicted . . .jury is still out. But anyway, I was reading over some of my older posts on this blog and got a little tickled. So, I was inspired to add a new post. Not sure how many more will follow but I just thought I'd start. . .
A LOT has happened since April and the arrival of The Princess. First of all, you might want to sit down for this one- can you believe she is already EIGHT MONTHS OLD?! I can't! And to whoever thought I was announcing another pregnancy: BITE ME! Ha ha! See I haven't lost my sense of humour.
Anyway, life has changed DRASTICALLY, I swear I blink and the days just keep passing sometimes without my active participation. My son is now in kindergarten, I'm back to working full time, finished a semester of school and the ICING on the Sock It To Me cake that is my life- is that my dear husband got a quasi-promotion at work that requires him to be out of town three days a week every other week. So on those weeks I refer to myself as a single, married mother. I don't think he likes the terminology but if the shoe fits. . .it gets extremely overwhelming sometimes and my biggest fear is that life is rushing by so fast that I'm not giving "enough" to my kids. Everything is such a damn routine. Homework, dinner, bath, story, bed time. Repeat. Agh! I hate it. I am thisclose to biting the bullet and just becoming a stay at home mom. They still make Spam, right? Ooh, with Ramen noodles. Yum.
So, I'm back for a minute to wish everyone in the blogosphere a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and a safe, healthy, prosperous New Year. Live, laugh and love life! And come back. . .I might start kicking it here again. I have so much more material now ;-).
The Genius and The Princess in the photo after take 57. . .not bad.
Okay, I know in the beginning when I found out about our little accident, er, I mean blessing from God. . . I had hoped it would be another boy. My thought was that a boy would be "easier" since I've already experienced parenting a boy up to age 4.
Well, now I cannot wait for more estrogen to enter our household! My son is slowly evolving from a sweet, docile little mama's boy into a straight up maniac! If he's not jumping from the highest point in the house (apparently thinking he can fly!) he's running through the house screaming battle cries and doing high kicking karate. Often he won't respond to you unless you address him by his superhero name or unless you know the secret password.
I know that for the most part this is normal "boy" behavior but I am in such unfamiliar territory. I grew up in a single mother household with a sister. We operated on emotion and logic. Right now my son is operating on pure IMAGINATION! I think he sees something else in his mind instead of what's real. Like perhaps when he jumps off the top of the couch he sees himself landing in an ocean or perhaps a bed of soft cotton instead of hardwood floors! This boy has banged his head, foot, arm, knees and shoulder so many times in the past few months I am shocked he hasn't broken a bone yet.
Ah, the joys of boys. . .WHATEVER. He's nutty as a can of Planter's! I can't wait for my little princess to make her debut. I'm actually looking forward to Barbie dolls, tea parties and manicures! And I know pink is kind of passe when it comes to being the color of choice for girls but I cannot wait to buy a cute PINK frilly dress with a bunch of flowers and lace that screams I AM A GIRL!!! Ha ha! I do absolutely ADORE my son but I can't wait to even things out in our household.
I am confused about something. Why is it when some people decide life is not worth living anymore they also make that decision for others? I seriously don’t understand the murder-suicide phenomenon. I hate my life so much that not only am I going to kill myself but I don’t want you to live either so, I guess I hate your life too???
I mean if a person is so determined to end their life then DO IT and claim that one way ticket to hell. But by all means don’t take other folks with you! I was shocked to hear about the man in L.A. who killed his family and then himself. How in the hell do you kill FIVE little children, your wife and then yourself? Because he got laid off (I think his wife also lost her job). Sorry if this sounds crass but if he really wanted to turn a selfish act into a selfless act he should have found away to terminate his life that would appear to be an “accident” and then perhaps his family could have collected some type of insurance policy. I’m just sayin’. . .
The other thing that shocked me is that this was a BLACK man. Surely he was aware there were other options. Was he that proud or just an idiot? I’m thinking the latter. I have had some low points in my life, which when you really think about it is what makes life well. . .life. You have peaks and valleys. It’s never perfect and there are ALWAYS tests of strength, will and faith that you have to get through and I guess it’s true that only the strongest survive. The weak apparently take their lives (and the lives of others) because they figure it’s easier. Like I said, I’ve had some low points but NEVER, EVER, NEVER would I ever kill myself.
In all honesty I can say that I’ve thought about what “life” would be without me. Would I be missed? But those thoughts always had to do with me either never having been born or dying of some natural cause. I can barely swallow those big ass prenatal vitamins so I know I couldn’t take any pills. I would never try to shoot myself because what if my aim is slightly off and I become paralyzed instead? And why in the world would someone stick a knife in their chest over and over? I like to think I have a high tolerance for pain but come on. It just doesn’t make sense to me.
Life is already short enough and regardless to how much we dread it or even fight it the fact is we will ALL die someday anyway- why hurry along the process. Find the light, the love and the goodness in life and enjoy it while you can. Sorrow don't last always. . .
I felt compelled to write this post this morning before I started my work day. I have always really liked John Travolta. Not saying that I'm a big fan but I do enjoy his work. At the risk of dating myself, I remember original episodes of Welcome Back Kotterand I found his ditzy Vinnie Barbarino character adorable. Not a big fan of Saturday Night Fever but loved him in Grease (I'on care who you are, you KNOW you had at least two songs memorized from that movie!) But one of my favorite roles of his was from Face Off with Nicolas Cage. I know I've seen that movie at least ten times!
So when I heard about his son, Jett (whose name I knew from seeing him in random interviews and he mentioned him practically every time) dying for some reason it really pierced my heart. I'm sure it's mainly because I'm a mother and I don't ever want to think about my son leaving this Earth before me. . .but also because it was so apparent that he absolutely adored his son. It is so tragic for a life to be taken so young (16) and I pray that the Travolta family can get through this tragedy.
Ho, ho, hum. . . . Well, another Christmas bites the dust! The madness and the mayhem was over within a matter of hours. I enjoyed this Christmas and tried to take it easy because, God-willing, next year I will have TWO children at Christmas- AGH! So, I enjoyed just having to focus on one child and play one game of pretend instead of being stretched between two children and feeling like I'm not devoting an equal amount of time.
Now that the holidays are about over I am starting to focus on how my life is about to drastically change in FOURTEEN short weeks! And I doubt seriously that I will even have time to take a breath. . .in addition to New Year's, my husband is running the Houston-Chevron marathon in January, hubby's birthday (along with 2 nieces, my moms, & only aunt birthdays) is in February, my son's b-day is in March and then BAM! Baby girl is due in April. OMG! People have been asking me about names. . .I am sooooo far away from thinking about names it's not even funny. I think I'll probably get it together after my son's b-day (March 2nd) maybe. . .I really need to FOCUS! I tell you what I am looking forward to the MOST (besides having a healthy baby) is taking THREE MONTHS off after my delivery!!! I am exhausted!!! Okay, I'm getting tired just thinking about it. . .
Instead I'll share my favorite story from Christmas. Christmas Eve to be exact. My son, got a ridiculous amount of STUFF from my family (as usual) and as he was opening his presents I was taking them and hiding them in the closet- because we open family presents at midnight and afterwards he needs to go to bed so Santa can make an appearance. One of the presents he received was a Batman shaving kit. It came with all the fake razors and a small can of foam a.k.a shaving cream.
After my family packed up and left (around 12:45am) I told my son it was time to go to sleep so that Santa could stop by and he started to have a MELT DOWN!!!! He had big crocodile tears and he was saying, "But I have to do something first," And I'm like- WHAT YOU COULD POSSIBLY HAVE TO DO AT 1:00 IN THE MORNING?!?! He started stuttering and blubbering that he: NEEDED TO SHAVE!!!!!! Bwahahahahahaha! He was sooooooo serious and looking so pitiful but I bust out laughing!!!! My husband didn't find it as hilarious. He told him he could shave in the morning and proceeded to march him upstairs. In less than three seconds he was out cold. He didn't wake up the next morning until almost 9:00!!! After he checked out what Santa left for him, he ran back upstairs to SHAVE!!! (I'll post pictures later).
I was still beyond exhausted so after playing one round of Power Rangers I went back to sleep. As I was nodding off that movie, A Christmas Story was on t.v. When I woke up it was still on so I thought I had only slept about twenty minutes- turns out the show was on a continuous 24 hour Christmas marathon loop and I had almost slept through it TWICE.
Now, I'm back at work still a little out of it. . .good thing Christmas only comes once a year because if it was more than once a year, I'd be celebrating Hanukkah!
Hope everyone had a safe and happy Christmas!!! I wish you much peace, love and exponential blessings for 2009!!!!
Yesterday, my co-worker was going on and on about how she thought I was such a wonderful mother and that I seem to have found such a perfect balance in my life. I swear I just stared at her blankly for a few minutes because I thought she was gonna start laughing and say, “SIKE!” If anyone perceives that I have perfected “balance” in my life let me set the record straight: IT’S ALL SMOKE & MIRRORS.
I think one of the lessons I have learned- begrudgingly- since I got married and had a child is that, unfortunately, life is not all about ME anymore and that I have to put my selfishness aside. Armed with this knowledge, I have been able to avoid a lot of frustration and disappointment. Don’t get me wrong I still feel extremely overwhelmed from time to time but when I do, I just breathe and think whether or not it’s worth me losing my mind. And sometimes I TOTALLY fly off the handle to get my point across and to let the people in my life know without a shadow of a doubt : she’s kinda crazy. It’s been my secret weapon for years! :-)
Another thing that has really given me more sense of “balance” in my life is accepting my job for what it is. A job. It is not my “career”. I do not have delusions of grandeur or thoughts of climbing the corporate ladder. For the most part, I enjoy what I do and I when I am here I give 100% (it ain’t brain surgery, though) but I do NOT work overtime (I am salaried and don’t get paid for it), I don’t take any of the b.s. or politics home with me (I’m too busy pretending to be a Power Ranger with my son), and I don’t get involved in office cliques (I’m too damn old for that).
So, I have relieved an incredible amount of stress from my plate by not letting my job consume me or my time. For the first time in my life, I feel like I have options and I could work here or not and it’s not going to cripple me or my lifestyle so the way I see it, my job is pretty lucky to have me, not the other way around. And I say that strongly even in the current economic environment.
Besides I’m only one person and there is no way I can give all of myself completely to my job or to my husband or even to my son. It’s just not humanly possible. And there are times that I still feel like I am failing miserably in some area in my life but I just try to do better the next day. I want my mind to be strong and sound for decades to come so, I can’t afford to start losing bits and pieces of it now. One thing that is out of balance is the weather in Houston. We keep going from 40 to 77 degrees (and vice versa) overnight! Here's a picture of my son playing in the snow from last week!
When Tyler Perry's movie came out earlier this year I ran to the theater to see it- not because I'm huge fan of Mr. Perry's (although I do think his accomplishments are phenomenal) nor because I was a big fan of anyone in the cast. I ran out to see it so that I could perhaps gain some understanding of this thing called marriage. Sadly, I wasn't given any insight- no more than I already had, which is not saying much.
I've been married six years and while it seems like a lifetime to me, it's nothing when I think about people who've been married 50 plus years or even my own sister who got married at 18 and has been married 17 years. I guess part of the secret to a long marriage is either marrying the "right" person to begin with or having the fortitude to deal with whatever bullshit comes your way and not give in or give up.
But I wonder what happens when the person you thought was "right" changes in to someone all wrong. Or perhaps you change and that person is no longer what you need. How do you deal with that? Will you constantly be forced to change who you are or suppress your true needs in an effort to make things "work"? And then when children are thrown into the mix-man- I think most of the time couples find themselves trying get along just for the children's sake but meanwhile their (the couple) relationship is suffering.
I think what honestly happens in most marriages is that as men and women we get settled into these roles. The man is supposed to take care of the house, fix the cars, cut the grass, etc. While the woman makes the house a home, decorating, cleaning, cooking, washing, etc. Eventually these roles become very lopsided and one person- usually the woman- is doing WAY more. ESPECIALLY if she works full time AND has a child.
So, then the woman voices her need for some assistance and perhaps because she's fed up with having to pick up dirty socks off the floor everyday, the request may sound more like a complaint. So now she is tagged as a "nagger" (gasp!). Simply because she wants her mate to pick up after himself. And the unraveling begins. . .
Most men talk about wanting an "independent" woman or a woman who is successful or ambitious but I think they also want that same woman to cater to them. You can't have it both ways. Women like that want a man to cater to them. And some of us are so selfish in our relationships that we establish a "quid pro quo" rule. If you do this. . .then I'll do that. Instead of doing something for your mate and not expecting a damn thing in return. I am more than sure there are married couples out there who operate on the no expectations principle but more often than not I'm sure their efforts are reciprocated by their spouse. But there are probably also those unions where one person is doing all the giving and the other is being a selfish receiver.
I started this post because I was beyond PISSED at my husband. And as I washed out a RANCID skillet that he scrambled eggs in on Sunday (yes, today is WEDNESDAY) and buried at the bottom of the sink still full of eggs that stuck to the pan. I began having these thoughts that if I was SINGLE I wouldn't be washing out this stinky ass skillet or having to waste time cleaning up instead of DOING HOMEWORK, which is why I am off on Wednesdays, so that I can catch up on homework and attend class! But instead of finishing two quizzes online and getting ready for my 1:00 class here I am cleaning up because apparently I am the only person in this house that cares whether or not mushrooms start growing up through the floor! And don't even get me started on wiping PEE from the top of the closed toilet lid. I only have one thing to say. When I pee I am 99.99% sure it is going IN the toilet.
ARGH!! There are times when I consider myself extremely blessed to be married and have a family, my health, a home and a decent paying job. And there are other times like today when I wonder "why did I get married" and where would I be in this moment if my time, my life and my future were my own and not tied to another person?
But I am married and I know why I did it: L-O-V-E. I married a great guy and although I want to tie him up and stuff him in a closet sometimes- I do love him. And we've created a great family that we will (God willing ) be adding to pretty soon. So, I will more than likely mention the skillet episode to him. He will more than likely down play it. I will more than likely get mad and keep stressing how disgusting it was. He will more than likely tell me that I need to give it a rest. I will more than likely tell him to go hell. We won't speak for thirty minutes. We'll go have a nice dinner out with my son to wish my husband good luck on the Philadelphia Marathon this weekend. And it will be over.
I guess I probably should just let it go since I am getting a TREAT this weekend. My husband leaves tomorrow morning for Philly (he has relatives there) and won't be back until MONDAY! Woohoo!! Maybe a little taste of "single life" is just what this married girl needs!
I LOVE this song by Anita Baker. . .I thought it was appropriate for this post. No more fairytales! Marriage can be wonderful but it is HARD WORK! I plan on hanging in there for the long haul! :-)
I am STILL reeling. . . . I KNEW there was no way he would lose but man, he REALLY won!!!!
Now we've got some serious work to do, people we gotta help a brother out and do our part to get this country on the right track. You can start in your own home with initiatives like recycling or carpooling to help impact the environment, invest in the stock market even though it's down (it WILL be back up) to help stimulate the economy, mentor a child or volunteer in an underprivileged area to help save one young person from any pitfalls that lie ahead. Don't be passive and wait on President Obama to be a savior otherwise you will be thoroughly disappointed. His win should inspire you to want to do and be more not expect him to fix the world.
If his Presidency is considered a failure it's because WE (as a country and a people) failed. Be encouraged and do your part!
Happy Halloween!!! I've posted a preview of the tonight's costume. . .what else would TheGenius be but a POWER RANGER?! He woke up at the crack of dawn this morning all excited because today is "pajama party" day at his school and he got to wear his "cool" Batman pajamas- two superheroes in one day?! Life doesn't get any better than that!
We sat together this morning and watched the sunrise since he woke up so early. I was late to work but who cares? That was a priceless, special moment. I know people say this and then go on love their other children just as much BUT as I was sitting watching the sunrise with my son, witnessing the wonder on his face and hearing the excitement in his voice as he talked about his upcoming party, I started thinking to myself, "there is no way this second child will be nearly as special and awesome as this one," I KNOW, I KNOW. . .that's horrible, right? But this new baby seriously has a tough act to follow so far.
I just hope and pray that baby number 2 arrives (God willing) healthy first and foremost but I also hope that we at least have another laid back, go with the flow kinda kid that just meshes with the family dynamic we've established. The last thing I need is a high maintenance, drama prince or princess. I seriously don't know if I'd be able to deal. My husband is super laid back and unflappable (for the most part) and I am about the most low-to no maintenance chick around. And usually when you give my son a choice to do something, go somewhere or wear something he says, "whatever you want me to do Mom," LOVE IT!! I just get this feeling that this baby is gonna come along and shake us up and mess up our little cocoon of comfort! Ha ha!
Anyway, enough of my baby bashing- already giving this unborn kid a complex! I hope all of you have a SAFE and Happy Halloween!!!
Man, I totally forgot I even had a blog! ;-p It even took me two tries on the password. So much for trying to blog once a week this month. . .this month has been totally insane. Here's the recap:
1. Traveled to six different locations for annual enrollment meetings at work.
2. Verbally assaulted by wonderful co-workers in Newark. Such a classy bunch.
3. Got snowed on in Salt Lake City. Seriously, snowflakes in my hair!! Needless to say I was semi-afroed for the remainder of the trip.
4. Was able to fly first class to Orlando after sitting in airport for 2 1/2 hour delay due to weather.
5. Tomorrow will mark my 16th week of pregnancy. . .
Yep, I know who cares about 1 through 4, more on this number 5 bombshell. First of all, I am very hesitant to even talk about my pregnancy because if God forbid, something goes wrong and I don't deliver a healthy baby or any baby for that matter on April 13th then I'll have to address my feelings about that. . .which might not be a bad thing. . .
But I digress, I am expecting and this was TOTALLY unplanned and I have been in denial for three months. Especially after this tirade. Still scratching my head on how this happened. . .I mean I KNOW how it happened but still. . .anyway, I'm getting a little excited and will also get FIXED when this is over. I thought one was enough but I'm certain TWO will do! I think I'm most excited for my son. He will have a sibling and get the opportunity to impart his wisdom on another human being who will think he hung the moon. He will also get a chance to boss someone around, blame things on and from time to time be best their friend. I can't imagine my life without my sister and hopefully he will develop that kind of bond with his un-gender known sibling as well.
We haven't really specifically told him that he's going to be a big brother but we've spoken more in hypothetical terms and he is beyond excited at the prospect. He even has every one's role figured out. He will feed the baby, I will change the pee-pee diapers and daddy will change the poopie diapers. I love that plan! I think the age spread between the two will be perfect also because my son will be old enough not to still want to be a "baby" and require so much of my attention so, I'm hoping there won't be much jealousy or regression. Besides my " first baby" will be starting KINDERGARTEN next year! (She says throwing herself on floor and crying hysterically) I cannot believe how fast the time flew by. . .and to think just when I got him all trained to be semi-self-sufficient here I go bringing another person into this world who will be totally dependent on me. I think I know how this happened now. . .it was the blue pill that I took with the shot of Patron. . .
Needless to say hubby is ECSTATIC!!! This has been his plan all along! Come to think of it he gave me the blue pill! Ha ha! I have been in a shitty mood everyday exhausted, nauseous, bitchy, craving weird stuff and then not eating it, did I mention exhausted and bitchy? Whatever the case, I'm taking good care of myself and I ask for God's mercy daily and hope that he will bless me with a healthy child at the end of 40 weeks. I'll keep you posted as this journey continues on.
As you can imagine things have been a little crazy ( or crazier than normal) in my world. We're finally trying to regain some sense of normalcy. . .our power came on Thursday evening around 6:30 and the way we found out was hilarious (in retrospect). My husband- bless his heart- had gotten the hook up with a 15,000 watt generator (yeah, he could have powered up the entire street) and he also had an AIR CONDITIONING WINDOW UNIT- I didn't even know they still made those. . .I have no idea where he got this stuff and while I was grateful I was somewhat leery.
I kept thinking something was going to blow up or we'd have carbon monoxide in the house. So, I was extremely paranoid. At one point I was sitting on the couch watching this monster in our backyard with all these cords coming out of it and all of a sudden I hear this grinding sound and I start screaming. . ."Oh, my GAWD it's gonna blow!" Turns out the grinding noise was our GARBAGE DISPOSAL. Someone had flipped the switch and when the power was restored that was the first thing that came on. After I nearly gave my husband a heart attack we started celebrating. We went outside to tell the neighbors who were all outside in their driveways. My son ran out and started yelling, "hey everybody we got lights!"
Although I am EXTREMELY grateful that the power has been restored at our house (we still have friends and family who are without power) and while I did miss it- things weren't that bad when the power was out. We learned to improvise. We stayed closer together. We went to sleep earlier. We talked more. We were still.
Now that the power has been restored we're back to our frenetic pace. Today was my son's first day back at school and he was feeling the pain. He's been on "hurrication" (vacation due to hurricane- heard that on the news last night) and it was hard for that young brother to get it together this morning. As for me, man oh man, I was already struggling to stay on track and now I have to kick it in to the highest gear possible to get caught up before my ridiculous travel schedule (for work) kicks in next month. Next month. . .do yall realize that' s NEXT week?!
Hurricane Ike has come and gone. It tore through Galveston and Houston like a beast on a rampage. Praise God, my family and I are okay. So are the majority of friends that I have been able to contact. We sustained minimal damage to the outside of our house and that's it. No electricity but the weather was great last night and it was our first night back home.
Not sure how much longer we'll stay without power. . .hope the 4 week rumors aren't true. I'm at work today trying to regain some sense of normalcy. At least there's electricity and INTERNET at work! It is surreal to see all of the landmarks I'm familiar with in the city (on my side of town) torn down or hanging by a thread. Ike beat up the city pretty bad. . . but I know H-Town will bounce back in no time at all. It's a big ass inconvenience right now but it could have been so much worse.
My son, just realized the severity of the situation when we were returning home yesterday (we sought refuge in New Braunfels and Katy)- the playground structure in front of his school is GONE! He gasped and his eyes widened (even larger) and he said in his most devastated voice, "Oh, no the hurricane took our playground what are we gonna do?!"
To have a child's priorities. . .hope anyone who was in the area during the hurricane survived and all is well with you and your loved ones.
After doing some research and watching programs on television advocating for the reduction of our carbon footprint on the Earth, our family has decided to start recycling plastic containers.
We drink a lot of bottled water and my husband drinks a lot of Gatorade, even my son’s Juicy Juice containers are recyclable. I’m sure a better option would be to get a filtration system to avoid buying plastic water bottles and we could get reusable containers for our water. But you gotta crawl before you can walk. . .
So, we are setting up a slim garbage can in the garage for plastic bottles. We’ve explained this entire initiative and why we’re doing it to my son and he’s quite excited. Although he initially thought we could recycle everything plastic including bags, which is a no-no. Once a week I will drop the containers off at the large center in our neighborhood on my way to work. I’m hoping this is a habit we can start and keep!!
This is just a small step (one of many) we plan on making in the coming years to do our part to help save the planet. Here are some recycling facts from http://www.earth911.org/:
--In 2006, Americans drank about 167 bottles of water each, but only recycled an average of 23 percent. That leaves 38 billion water bottles in landfills. --Bottled water costs between $1 and $4 per gallon and 90 percent of the cost is in the bottle, lid and label. --According to the Beverage Marketing Corp, the average American consumed 1.6 gallons of bottled water in 1976. In 2006 that number jumped to 28.3 gallons. --It takes over 1.5 million barrels of oil to manufacture a year’s supply of bottled water. That’s enough oil to fuel 100,000 cars. --Eight out of 10 plastic water bottles become landfill waste. --In 2007 we spent $16 billion on bottled water. That’s more than we spent on iPods or movie tickets. --Plastic bottles take 700 years before they begin to decompose in a landfill. --If everyone in NYC gave up water bottles for one week they would save 24 million bottles from being landfilled; one month would save 112 million bottles and one year would save 1.328 billion bottles from going into the landfill.
My son spent the weekend with my aunt and for the first time in four years my husband and I were the only occupants in our house for more than 24 hours. Usually if he stays with my aunt or my sister is because we’re out of town or he will be gone just over night. But this time we dropped him off Saturday and he won’t be home until tonight.
It was the weirdest feeling. My husband and I both remarked that it felt like something was missing. He is such a huge part of our lives and when he’s home there is constant noise, hustle and bustle. But for an entire day it was just the two of us. I think so often when you get married and have children your marriage becomes more about parenting than anything else. The kids are at the forefront of your conversations and a big part of your social outings. They become your “life” on a lot of different levels.
That’s why I think it is very important that parents allow themselves some alone time (whether you are single or married) to reconnect with the person you were before your children came into your life. Granted, I know for some people their children saved their lives and they wouldn’t want to go back to the person they were but I guess what I’m trying to say is get in touch with who YOU are and the things you like and what you want to do. Because our children are only ours for a brief time; when it’s all said and done we will have to let them go so they can live their own lives.
My husband and I enjoyed the peace and tranquility of our house and we spent the entire day together shopping for furniture and groceries. Although we missed our son, it was great to spend some quality time together. He will return tonight and our family routine will happily resume and we will probably wonder how we got along with out him.
I’m back from my weekend getaway in California. My husband and I took my son to the Golden State to get away from the Southern heat, humidity and RAIN this past weekend. We mainly visited beaches on our short journey (Manhattan, Santa Monica & Venice) but we also did the tourist thing and headed to Hollywood Blvd. to check out the stars on the Walk of Fame, took pictures at the Hollywood Vista point (good spot to photograph the Hollywood sign although the drive up Mulholland is treacherous!), and we drove down Rodeo Drive (didn’t see any celebs though). A highlight of the trip was eating at Sizzler! Ha ha! Don’t laugh! That was a big deal in H-Town when I was 16 but the buffets ran them out of town so, it was a bit of a nostalgic trip to get the steak and endless shrimp with the all you can eat salad bar. Reason number 4,576 why I need to go on a diet right now!!!
Anyway, even though the trip was brief it was nice and relaxing and helped me focus even more on what’s important in life. God, family and love. Nothing more, nothing less. I am so grateful for so many things and as I stared out at the majesty of the Pacific ocean I started to compile a list in my head of what I’m most grateful for:
1. Being in God’s favor 2. A husband who adores me 3. The unconditional love of my son 4. My sister (for incessant laughter) 5. Sight 6. Mental health (some days ;-) 7. Physical health 8. Freedom 9. Books 10. Chocolate
I had another post prepared but right before I was about to publish it I changed my mind and decided to compose this post instead.
A very dear friend of mine lost her baby yesterday. She had two previous miscarriages and after carrying a baby full term -40 weeks and 2 days- she went into the hospital for an emergency C-section and the umbilical cord had strangled the baby in utero.
I have never known anyone including myself who wanted a baby as bad as she did and I am beyond devastated and heartbroken for her and her husband. She is the kindest, generous and most genuine person I know and to say she would have been a good mother is an understatement. I don't know if they are planning to try again or not. . .but if I could ask God one question it would be why does something like this happen to someone like her and there are other people I know that have babies and abortions like it's nothing and then they don't provide the right environment for the child when they get here and . . .I know you can't question God. . .maybe he has bigger plans for my friend that may not include motherhood.
I pray for my friend, her husband and her family that they are able to get through this tough time. In the meantime I implore all readers who stop by (I have site meter so I know you're looking you're just not commenting) if you have children- hold them tight, love them right and thank God for the blessing daily. I know I take for granted sometimes that my son is healthy, he's smart, he's well adjusted, and that he's even alive. But I want to take this opportunity to throw praises up to God for making it all so, in Jesus name, Amen!
The other day my son and I were coloring pages in his coloring book and I flipped to the cover to see how the characters looked to make sure I colored them just right. My son asked, "What are you doing?" I replied, "Looking to see what color Tyrone's shirt is supposed to be," He stopped coloring looked at me and said, "Mama, use your imagination it can be any color you want it to be. You don't have to do it like everybody else,"
My mouth hung open. It hung open even wider when I asked, "Who told you that," his reply: "You did,"
Wow. Not only does he listen to me but apparently I am a hypocrite who doles out advice but doesn't follow it. Several people have been quoted in various languages I'm sure about the importance of walking the talk and action speaking louder than words. I wonder then how often I send my son mixed messages. I'm always telling him to try his best meanwhile I complain that I'm not getting anything accomplished. Am I trying my best?
A simple activity like coloring served as the wake up call I desperately needed. I can't expect my son to take anything I say seriously if I'm not following my own rules and advice. Starting today I pledge to arm him with information to help him on his journey and to also practice what I preach so, that I can have positive examples to SHOW him when he questions whether or not mama know what she's talking about.
My reason for creating this blog was two-fold: to share my parenting/life experiences and to try and hone my writing skills. I do not purport to know everything or anything for that matter about life or parenting. These are simply my experiences and observations.
However I have made other wildly random observations that led me to write today’s post. Because sometimes you don’t have any answers just all the questions:
1. Why is it when you really don’t want to be bothered with someone they suddenly want to talk to you and ask you all sorts of random things that you could careless about? 2. Why is it in 2008 there are black people who still appear to think being “light skinned” automatically makes someone attractive? 3. Why do men always get caught in lies? 4. Why do people who are abrasive and rude always get their feelings hurt so easily? 5. Why does food that is the unhealthiest for you taste so good? 6. Why do children instantly mock your bad behavior? 7. Why isn’t the rest of the world like children under five who see no “race” (when they are playing everyone is their friend)? 8. Why did Michael Jackson go crazy? 9. Why did Tupac, Biggie, Aaliyah and Left Eye have to die? 10. Why are so-called “Christians” the biggest hypocrites on Earth? 11. Why does your elderly relative still treat you like you’re ten when you’re almost forty with kids of your own? 12. Why does America cater to non-English speaking folks? 13. Why isn’t educating children a top priority in this country? 14. Why do some people buy their children name brand clothing before they can even read? 15. Why do mothers carry around so much guilt? 16. Why do we waste our time, energy and LIFE doing things we really don’t want to do? 17. Why do we set bad examples for our chilren but expect better behavior from them?
I recently received an e-mail titled "Life's Laundry List" and it was a list of 45 things to remember as you celebrate growing older. The list was compiled by Regina Brett and served as a reminder to remember what's important as we travel through this thing called Life! Here are a few of my favorites:
Make peace with your past so that it won't screw up the present
Don't compare your life to others, you have no idea what their journey is all about
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks
Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful
No one is charge of your happiness except you
What other people think of you is none of your business
Don't audit life. Show up and make the best of it now
Envy is a waste of time you already have all you need
