Heavy Heart

I had another post prepared but right before I was about to publish it I changed my mind and decided to compose this post instead.

A very dear friend of mine lost her baby yesterday. She had two previous miscarriages and after carrying a baby full term -40 weeks and 2 days- she went into the hospital for an emergency C-section and the umbilical cord had strangled the baby in utero.

I have never known anyone including myself who wanted a baby as bad as she did and I am beyond devastated and heartbroken for her and her husband. She is the kindest, generous and most genuine person I know and to say she would have been a good mother is an understatement. I don't know if they are planning to try again or not. . .but if I could ask God one question it would be why does something like this happen to someone like her and there are other people I know that have babies and abortions like it's nothing and then they don't provide the right environment for the child when they get here and . . .I know you can't question God. . .maybe he has bigger plans for my friend that may not include motherhood.

I pray for my friend, her husband and her family that they are able to get through this tough time. In the meantime I implore all readers who stop by (I have site meter so I know you're looking you're just not commenting) if you have children- hold them tight, love them right and thank God for the blessing daily. I know I take for granted sometimes that my son is healthy, he's smart, he's well adjusted, and that he's even alive. But I want to take this opportunity to throw praises up to God for making it all so, in Jesus name, Amen!

Movie Review: Kung Fu Panda

Okay, so I broke down last weekend and bought my son a Happy Meal (something I had been really good abut NOT buying because after spending $1million on Happy Meals I finally wised up and realized all he wanted was the toy) and he gets this Kung Fu Panda toy and he starts saying he saw the “commercial” on t.v. and he wants to see the movie.

So, we go as a family last night (in shock and awe that my husband agreed to attend) and almost $50 later we were seated to watch the feature presentation of Kung Fu Panda. It started off interestingly enough like a flat cartoon (like I used to watch as a kid- without all the 3-D wizardry) but it was just the main character, Po having a dream.

I found the movie to be funny and very clever. Dustin Hoffman is awesome as Master Shifu, he sounds like an ancient Asian sage. As a fan of martial arts movies I thought the creators did a good job of representing the genre. However I was shocked that some parts were so dark, serious and real. I realized that maybe it was a bit much for our son, who has only been 4 for a little over three months, when my husband and I both look down at him in the middle seat and he looked a little. . .um…petrified. His eyes were twice the size and he had suddenly gone mute. We asked if he was scared and he shook his head, “no” but he admitted later that he was a little scared.

The fighting scene when Tai Lung breaks out of prison is very cool but also pretty violent and it kinda came out of nowhere so, I think it totally took my son off guard. Although he likes to “play” karate, jump off the stairs, wrestle, and run into walls he’s really a softy at heart and he doesn’t like it when people (or animals) get hurt for real. So, I had to assure him repeatedly that it was all just pretend. I thought he was going to have nightmares for days but it turns he wasn’t as traumatized as I thought because he fell into a deep coma like sleep and didn’t wake up at all throughout the night.

So, a word of caution to anyone making plans to see it, beware that there are some parts that might startle or frighten young kids.

Daydreams

I’ve been daydreaming a lot lately. At random times about random things. Usually I’m thinking about the next thing I have to do instead of focusing on what I’m doing but mainly it’s been pretty random. For example:

In a meeting the other day: We’re having a conference call and I’ve totally zoned out and I’m staring out the window and noticing how close the buildings are (from the 20th floor) and I’m thinking to myself I wonder if I could JUMP from building to building.

On the bus: I take my car to a lot and park it and ride the bus into town (gotta save on gas so I can have cash to buy all that stuff my son doesn't need!) and it always amazes me how people have no bus etiquette. They put their bags in the seats or they are having a full blown telephone conversation on the bus. Talking loudly. There was a guy in front of me who I imagined myself tapping on the shoulder and saying, “Who are you talking to? Can I talk to them? Can you ask them what they think about global warming or when the war in Iraq will come to an end? I mean since your conversation is obviously so important you are sharing it with everyone on the bus!”

At my desk: I am surrounded by pictures of my son and I start thinking about taking him to see Kung Fu Panda (we’re going this evening) and then I start thinking about Angelina Jolie and all of her kids and think it’s just not fair that she gets to have all those babies, a nanny (or two) to help her out, a boatload of money AND Brad Pitt.

In the car on my way home: I start daydreaming while simultaneously riding the bumper of the car in front of me and refusing to let in those people who get in the lane that is ending and want to cut in front of you after you patiently waited your turn in line-anyway I daydream about a story I’m writing about a married couple who met in high school. I think about Common and Nia Long playing the characters on the big screen but then I think they kinda look like they could be related.

At the library with my son: We are the only black people in the library except for two girls on the computer who are logged into myspace. I wonder what other parents I know are doing with their kids. I think about my sister, her kids are probably locked out of the house while she’s getting some sleep. Just kidding, that only happened once. (maybe it did. . .maybe it didn't. .)

At this moment: I should totally be working instead of chronicling my latest daydreams because I am already imagining my supervisor trying to get an update from me at 5:00 and me looking at her like she has six eyes.

Yawn. All this daydreaming is making me sleepy. Speaking of daydreaming. . I love this song. . .had no idea who the heck Lupe Fiasco was/is but I'm a huge fan of the incomparable Miss Jill Scott!

My Son the Teacher

The other day my son and I were coloring pages in his coloring book and I flipped to the cover to see how the characters looked to make sure I colored them just right. My son asked, "What are you doing?" I replied, "Looking to see what color Tyrone's shirt is supposed to be," He stopped coloring looked at me and said, "Mama, use your imagination it can be any color you want it to be. You don't have to do it like everybody else,"

My mouth hung open. It hung open even wider when I asked, "Who told you that," his reply: "You did,"

Wow. Not only does he listen to me but apparently I am a hypocrite who doles out advice but doesn't follow it. Several people have been quoted in various languages I'm sure about the importance of walking the talk and action speaking louder than words. I wonder then how often I send my son mixed messages. I'm always telling him to try his best meanwhile I complain that I'm not getting anything accomplished. Am I trying my best?

A simple activity like coloring served as the wake up call I desperately needed. I can't expect my son to take anything I say seriously if I'm not following my own rules and advice. Starting today I pledge to arm him with information to help him on his journey and to also practice what I preach so, that I can have positive examples to SHOW him when he questions whether or not mama know what she's talking about.

Happy Father's Day

Often the contributions father’s make to their children’s lives go unnoticed and uncelebrated. Instead of receiving accolades they receive criticisms. We hear stories about “dead beat” dads all the time who fail to pay child support or father’s who choose not to have any contact with their children. Even worse are stories about father’s abusing and in some extreme cases killing their children. But I am willing to bet the moon (if I owned it) that the number of active, involved, loving, caring father’s far exceed the number of bad father’s we hear about so often.

Studies have shown when children grow up with a father who plays an active role in their lives, they are more confident and have better relationships with their peers. No matter what type of relationship the parents have it should never affect how either interacts with their children because children need the love, affection and attention of both parents.

As someone who grew up in a single parent household raised by a single mother and little contact with my father, I am ECSTATIC that my son has the benefit of his father being active in his life daily. My husband is a wonderful father and this Father’s Day I want to let him know how much he is loved and appreciated. What I love most about his relationship with my son is:

**He can be gentle or stern when he is doling out discipline, depending on what our son needs
**He’s teaching our son to respect and protect me
**He plays with our son and is genuinely engaged
**He reads to our son and changes character voices
**He is able to laugh at himself and it’s okay if our son is amused too
**He’s is always encouraging our son to try his best
**He loves our son unconditionally

And as a result of this dynamic relationship my son thinks his Dad is cooler than Superman. Happy Father’s Day MO!!!

The Answer is the Question

My reason for creating this blog was two-fold: to share my parenting/life experiences and to try and hone my writing skills. I do not purport to know everything or anything for that matter about life or parenting. These are simply my experiences and observations.

However I have made other wildly random observations that led me to write today’s post. Because sometimes you don’t have any answers just all the questions:

1. Why is it when you really don’t want to be bothered with someone they suddenly want to talk to you and ask you all sorts of random things that you could careless about?
2. Why is it in 2008 there are black people who still appear to think being “light skinned” automatically makes someone attractive?
3. Why do men always get caught in lies?
4. Why do people who are abrasive and rude always get their feelings hurt so easily?
5. Why does food that is the unhealthiest for you taste so good?
6. Why do children instantly mock your bad behavior?
7. Why isn’t the rest of the world like children under five who see no “race” (when they are playing everyone is their friend)?
8. Why did Michael Jackson go crazy?
9. Why did Tupac, Biggie, Aaliyah and Left Eye have to die?
10. Why are so-called “Christians” the biggest hypocrites on Earth?
11. Why does your elderly relative still treat you like you’re ten when you’re almost forty with kids of your own?
12. Why does America cater to non-English speaking folks?
13. Why isn’t educating children a top priority in this country?
14. Why do some people buy their children name brand clothing before they can even read?
15. Why do mothers carry around so much guilt?
16. Why do we waste our time, energy and LIFE doing things we really don’t want to do?
17. Why do we set bad examples for our chilren but expect better behavior from them?

I am serioulsy at a loss. . .

Site to See

I am a personalization freak!! I love things that you can get your name, logo or picture printed on. I truly believe that's how my son learned to spell his name at such a young age (around his 2nd birthday) because he saw it everyday all over his room!

Here is a new site that specializes in personalized books, posters, & placemats. I love the coloring book idea and the zoo book with your child's name hidden in the background is a must-have! Enjoy and happy shopping!

http://www.frecklebox.com/