Little White Men

As I was pulling decorations from the Christmas crates I noticed that I have unconsciously started a collection of ceramic snowmen!! Aw, I'm either getting anal or old (perhaps both). Actually I think it stems more from me not wanting to buy Caucasian Santa's- I have one black Santa but he was hard to come by. . .anyway, in an effort to keep it merry and bright I've started this collection that I actually think is kinda cool.

My son probably won't appreciate this treasure after I go to the great beyond but I'm sure my baby girl will. . .unless she's like my mom and my sister who don't have a sentimental bone in their bodies!

Anyway, I'm still freakin' out because there are only 16 days until Christmas and I still have over half of my family to buy for. . .I would just get everyone a gift card but my family is so anti-gift cards. They prefer ripping open presents and pretending to be excited and then calling each other behind your back and saying, "what in the hell, why would he give me that ugly ass scarf," Ha ha! 'Tis the season!

Like Butta

Today I am taking a break from my hormone fueled rantings about marriage and focusing on the holiday season. After all 'tis the season to be jolly fa la la la fu- WTF?! Is it really 0nly 20 days until Christmas?!?!?

Okay, I am so not ready and this is so NOT like me. . .but I'm nothing like myself lately anyway so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I went out last weekend (not on Black Friday) to try and do a little shopping and ended up buying a few decorations and a gift for myself. They have this bath robe at Bath & Body Works. . .OMG!!. . .it is soooooooo soft and cuddly! I imagine that's what clouds might feel like. . .before you fall through them and come crashing to the Earth- but I digress, the robe is like butta! I LOVE IT! And I scored such a deal. It was on sale in the store for $29.99 and I had a coupon to get $10 off any item so I got this delicious robe for $19.99! The best $20 I've spent all year!

If you need a new robe or you want to give one as a gift you've got to check it out! It comes in it's own over sized box and a variety of colors. All you have to do is wrap it! Happy shopping!

Role Play

Okay, remember when I was ranting about the roles we play in marriages? Well, I almost went ballistic last night when my husband starting making snide comments about ME not cooking. Then he did the ULTIMATE and started to mention how his mother, God rest her soul, used to work full time and still managed to cook a hot meal every night.

First of all, I think I startled the entire neighborhood when I yelled, "I ain't yo mama!" Second of all, she had EIGHT kids! And I'm thinking at some point one of them should have been old enough to put some chicken in the oven. Apparently the lady had Julia Child aspirations.

I will be the first to admit my son could probably benefit from a lot more nutritious meals but one thing is for certain he eats EVERY night! Let's get that straight first. Now, regarding me being Suzy Homemaker. There was a time for a couple of years after we were married that I would come home after working 8 hours at a job that I HATED ( complete with a 1 1/2 hour commute one way) but endured because my salary was CRUCIAL to our household (still is) and I would cook a delicious, hot meal. I'm talking a meat and two sides! Sometimes dessert!

But as time marched on it seemed it went from being appreciated to expected. The number one thing I hate about cooking is that not only do I prepare the meal but folks sit down at the table and want you to bring them a plate and then I have to clean up the kitchen too?!?!? Oh, HELLLLL no! I found the kitchen stays a lot cleaner when nothing is cooked in it. Ha ha!

Seriously, can we step in to the new millennium DEAR HUSBAND? I mean I do work full time, my commute is about 35 to 45 minutes longer than yours, I go to school (taking THREE classes), I'm preggers, trying to be the best mommy I can be to our son and you think I'm gonna come home (when you're already at home) and start frying chicken and snapping peas?? Baby, I regret to inform you that you married the wrong woman. So sorry. No refunds.

I think I should probably call and tell him to stop and get a burger on his way home tonight. . .or he is more than welcomed to hook up a big pot of spaghetti tonight- he actually makes it better than me. So, what's really going on? I guess because he cuts the grass and changes the oil in the cars, boiling spaghetti is just asking too damn much.

When you stop by the Burger Shack tonight be sure to hold the onions and mayo on mine!

Blah-Blah-Blah

Happy Belated Turkey Day!! Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Mine was awesome. We went to my sister's house and gorged on way too much food! It was divine. Also, saw some family and friends that I had not seen in a while.

The day before Thanksgiving I had a doctor's appointment and it was confirmed that I am having a GIRL! Let the drama commence! Ha ha! My son didn't really mask his disappointment and he still refers to her as a "him" I guess he thinks if he wishes hard enough things will be different when April gets here. . .you never know. . .but I think both doctor's are pretty certain there are no boy parts in there.

It's getting to a point with this blog- unfortunately- that it's just another thing on my "to do" list. And I can almost predict its demise. It's been fun but I honestly don't know how much longer I'll keep it up. It was supposed to be an interim type thing while I regrouped with my parenting website but it kinda took on a life of its own and I never started the other website so I used this one for an outlet.

But with school, work, the holidays and a second child on the way- a sista is tired and totally not feeling the blog. I know it's getting bad because I don't even lurk around on other blogs like I used to. Although you wouldn't know it by the comments I actually get quite a few hits on this site about 50 a week. . .but there are only a handful of people who comment. I sincerely appreciate Super Dave, TheDad, Veronica and Don for taking an interest and leaving comments.

I am going to try and keep this going at least until the baby is born- don't want to leave everybody hanging but I apologize in advance if the posts are sporadic or just not that entertaining. Winds of change are blowing in. . .

The Greatest

My son and I have been left to our own devices since Thursday because my husband was out of town. We had a great weekend that consisted of "movie night" (we rented DVD's because my son confessed he doesn't like going to the movies, he's so strange), library day, shopping, pizza and games @ Gattitown, sleeping late and lounging in our pajamas all day Sunday.

I think I fell in love with him all over again this weekend. I simply cherish these days because he is such a sweet, smart, funny and just wonderful little human being. Everyday when I pray to God, one of the things I ask is that my son maintains some of those endearing qualities throughout his lifetime. And I pray that I remain strong and healthy enough to be positive influence to keep him on the right path.

Here are some of the priceless highlights from this weekend:

Me: (tickling him mercilessly) Now what are you gonna do, huh?
Him: (screaming in between fits of laughter) Stop, stop! No tickling!
Me: (I stop because I'm out of breath) Whatever, Egghead!
Him: (scrambling away from me) You said exactly what you are
Me: What?!
Him: What did you call me?
Me: Egghead.
Him: (laughing) That's exactly what you are (runs from room laughing)
Me: (mouth hanging open and thinking to myself- man, I'm gonna have to use that one!)
______________

Me: (giving him a vitamin) You've gotta take your vitamins so you can be big and strong
Him: (chewing it without complaint) So nobody will try to be a bully to me
Me: That's right, you let them know you are not the one!
Him: That's right, if somebody comes up to me and pushes me I'm gonna push them back and say, 'Not today, brother,' (but it totally sounded like BRUDDA).
Me: (laughing so hard I almost choked).

_____________

Me: So when your new baby brother or sister comes along, you are going to have to be in charge and show them how things work around here.
Him: Like the t.v.
Me: (laughing) Yes, but I'm mostly talking about the house rules.
Him: Like what?
Me: Like who's in charge, where things go, no whining, picking up after yourself, -
Him: Helping me clean up my room

Oh yeah, he is so ready to be a big brother! Ha ha!
_____________

Daddy will be back today and he was missed. He ran the Philadelphia Marathon in 32 degree weather in 4 hours 22 minutes. That is truly amazing to me! Twenty six miles?! Are you kidding me?! I couldn't have walked twenty six blocks! Hell, after two or three blocks in 32 degree weather I would have been dying!!

I'm really proud of him and can't wait to see him this evening. See, how absence makes the heart grow fonder. Now, if I could only get him to be gone for a week every month, I am more than certain we'd make it to ten years! :-)

Dead Wrong

No, I am not referring to my post from yesterday, although hubby was way too sweet yesterday when he got home. Don't know if it's because he was leaving to go out of town for four days or because he read the post. . . .

Anyway, why did I go to Subway for lunch today and see this unsupervised little Hispanic boy around 3-years old hanging out at the door as people were leaving the restaurant. Seriously every time someone left he all but followed them as if he were trying to hitch a ride home.

I go into Subway and he is running all over the place. As I am in line I notice a woman, who I assume is his mother, get him and promptly place him in a booth between her and another lady. OMG! He starts screaming bloody murder. His voice was literally echoing off the walls and irritating the shit out of everyone in the place. So, his "mother" allows him to get down and continue his running rampage with every stranger he encountered.

As I am paying for my sandwich I notice the person sitting across from this woman and another woman has on a Subway uniform. So, I think they must be friend's of this Subway employee and they are visiting her at lunch.

Unt-uh. I go to get my drink from the fountain machine and I see a JOB APPLICATION on the table between them. This woman is on a freaking INTERVIEW with her kid wrecking havoc everywhere! When I passed by I couldn't help but give the Subway MANAGER a look of disapproval when she says to the woman, "Can you start Saturday?"

That is why customer service in minimum wage paying service industries is so BAD!! I don't care if you are interviewing to be the person who scrapes gum from under the table at McDonald's- you should always be PROFESSIONAL! Proper attire, knowledgeable about the position and you come ALONE!!! What in the HELL! And as a manager doesn't that lady realize she is hiring someone who apparently has BABYSITTING ISSUES?!?!?

It would be funny if it wasn't so doggone SAD! I mean I can appreciate the fact that she is trying to get a job but why couldn't her "friend" or whoever the other lady was sitting with her, stay in the car with that little boy or push him around in a basket at Target next door until the interview was over?!?!

That's a big part of what's wrong with this country- mediocrity is accepted and common sense is overlooked!

Why Did I Get Married?

When Tyler Perry's movie came out earlier this year I ran to the theater to see it- not because I'm huge fan of Mr. Perry's (although I do think his accomplishments are phenomenal) nor because I was a big fan of anyone in the cast. I ran out to see it so that I could perhaps gain some understanding of this thing called marriage. Sadly, I wasn't given any insight- no more than I already had, which is not saying much.

I've been married six years and while it seems like a lifetime to me, it's nothing when I think about people who've been married 50 plus years or even my own sister who got married at 18 and has been married 17 years. I guess part of the secret to a long marriage is either marrying the "right" person to begin with or having the fortitude to deal with whatever bullshit comes your way and not give in or give up.

But I wonder what happens when the person you thought was "right" changes in to someone all wrong. Or perhaps you change and that person is no longer what you need. How do you deal with that? Will you constantly be forced to change who you are or suppress your true needs in an effort to make things "work"? And then when children are thrown into the mix-man- I think most of the time couples find themselves trying get along just for the children's sake but meanwhile their (the couple) relationship is suffering.

I think what honestly happens in most marriages is that as men and women we get settled into these roles. The man is supposed to take care of the house, fix the cars, cut the grass, etc. While the woman makes the house a home, decorating, cleaning, cooking, washing, etc. Eventually these roles become very lopsided and one person- usually the woman- is doing WAY more. ESPECIALLY if she works full time AND has a child.

So, then the woman voices her need for some assistance and perhaps because she's fed up with having to pick up dirty socks off the floor everyday, the request may sound more like a complaint. So now she is tagged as a "nagger" (gasp!). Simply because she wants her mate to pick up after himself. And the unraveling begins. . .

Most men talk about wanting an "independent" woman or a woman who is successful or ambitious but I think they also want that same woman to cater to them. You can't have it both ways. Women like that want a man to cater to them. And some of us are so selfish in our relationships that we establish a "quid pro quo" rule. If you do this. . .then I'll do that. Instead of doing something for your mate and not expecting a damn thing in return. I am more than sure there are married couples out there who operate on the no expectations principle but more often than not I'm sure their efforts are reciprocated by their spouse. But there are probably also those unions where one person is doing all the giving and the other is being a selfish receiver.

I started this post because I was beyond PISSED at my husband. And as I washed out a RANCID skillet that he scrambled eggs in on Sunday (yes, today is WEDNESDAY) and buried at the bottom of the sink still full of eggs that stuck to the pan. I began having these thoughts that if I was SINGLE I wouldn't be washing out this stinky ass skillet or having to waste time cleaning up instead of DOING HOMEWORK, which is why I am off on Wednesdays, so that I can catch up on homework and attend class! But instead of finishing two quizzes online and getting ready for my 1:00 class here I am cleaning up because apparently I am the only person in this house that cares whether or not mushrooms start growing up through the floor! And don't even get me started on wiping PEE from the top of the closed toilet lid. I only have one thing to say. When I pee I am 99.99% sure it is going IN the toilet.

ARGH!! There are times when I consider myself extremely blessed to be married and have a family, my health, a home and a decent paying job. And there are other times like today when I wonder "why did I get married" and where would I be in this moment if my time, my life and my future were my own and not tied to another person?

But I am married and I know why I did it: L-O-V-E. I married a great guy and although I want to tie him up and stuff him in a closet sometimes- I do love him. And we've created a great family that we will (God willing ) be adding to pretty soon. So, I will more than likely mention the skillet episode to him. He will more than likely down play it. I will more than likely get mad and keep stressing how disgusting it was. He will more than likely tell me that I need to give it a rest. I will more than likely tell him to go hell. We won't speak for thirty minutes. We'll go have a nice dinner out with my son to wish my husband good luck on the Philadelphia Marathon this weekend. And it will be over.

I guess I probably should just let it go since I am getting a TREAT this weekend. My husband leaves tomorrow morning for Philly (he has relatives there) and won't be back until MONDAY! Woohoo!! Maybe a little taste of "single life" is just what this married girl needs!

I LOVE this song by Anita Baker. . .I thought it was appropriate for this post. No more fairytales! Marriage can be wonderful but it is HARD WORK! I plan on hanging in there for the long haul! :-)