My Life.

Okay, one day before I totally decide to shut down this blog I promise to post a video of my son and one of our stimulating conversations. I want to do this just to prove that I am NOT making up some of the stuff this kid says! Last night he left me speechless during two conversations in the span of thirty minutes. I literally did not know what to say to him and I think it's because he always shocks me. It's never anything I expect.

Case in point, his father was going over results from a comprehensive physical that he (my husband) takes every year. So, my husband is at the table in the breakfast room and my son and I are listening to him from the family room. My husband is going on and on acting as if his over production of creatine is a death sentence when my son out of the blue asked me, "Mama have you ever had leprosy," I stared at him extremely puzzled because I'm thinking there is no way he just asked me if I had leprosy. I barely know what leprosy is surely a 4 year old has no clue what that means. "What?!" I asked. He repeated the question- slowly, for my benefit obviously. "Where did you hear that? Do you even know what that means? Why did you ask me that?" I hit him with a barrage of questions.

He grabbed my hands like he's trying to soothe me and he said, "Leprosy is when you have a bunch of sores or scales on your body, like on your skin. We learned about that in a Bible story at school. But don't worry because Jesus can heal you if you get that," My super parental reply? I started coughing and had to go and get some water. By the way, I've never had leprosy unless Jesus cured me before I realized I had it.

Less than ten minutes later I am in my bedroom, while my husband is STILL reviewing the results of his physical, when my son comes in and says he wants to talk to me. Oh, no more conversations about leprosy! This time he tells me he would like to share a secret with me. I TOTALLY encourage the sharing of secrets because while sometimes they are innocent and ridiculous they could eventually be something totally serious and life threatening so, I always want him to be able to share secrets with me. . .actually I try to discourage having secrets from mama in the first place.

Anyway, he tells me this little girl- who he talks about constantly as he's blushing and grinning from ear to ear- this little girl in his class (who is also FOUR) told him that she is falling in love with him. My mind was still reeling from the leprosy thing so I asked him if we could share his secret with daddy. He hesitated but shook his head, "yes". So I go back to the kitchen and tell my husband a little girl is falling in love with your son, please handle.

His head snapped up from the report and this idiot- I mean wonderful man that I married- started grinning and asking "who"? UH, not helping daddy. I do not want my son to be labeled as the pre-school sexual deviant because he ends up kissing this girl or holding her hand. We are living in a totally different society and while on one hand it makes you cover your heart and go," AWW," on the other hand all it takes is for one little innocent action by him to totally turn this into a suddenly serious situation.

So, his father proceeded to tell him that this girl probably just really likes him because he's smart and handsome but they are just friends and that he doesn't want him trying to kiss or hug her. He goes on to say they are too young to be talking about love and just be her friend and play together like he does with everyone else. I thought that was a good answer until my husband started talking about all the little girls who adored him in school when he was growing up too. If I weren't pregnant I probably would have taken a Valium (or two) and went to bed!

Pray for me!!

Letter to My Little Prince

There are so many headlines featuring black men in the news lately. Stories ranging from the ridiculous- Chris Brown, baby, what the hell!? To the sublime- President Obama. . .regardless to all the hateration I'm still floating on cloud nine. . .a black President?!!!

My husband and I were watching a reality show (Road to Redemption) on MTV starring T.I. and I thought it was great!! He's not trying to teach Hustling 101 nor is he trying to mold the 'hood's next superstar. He is actually trying to make a difference in young people's lives who are headed down the wrong road. On the episode we watched he took a young man to a FUNERAL HOME to see the dead body of a young man who was hustling just like him- to show this kid "this could have been you". Talk about keepin' it REAL!! Anyway, after watching the show and just checking out all the latest news headlines I was inspired to write a letter to the little black boy I'm raising:

My Dearest Son,

I am writing this letter to you from the bottom of my heart to let you know how much I absolutely adore you. You are such a wonderful, smart, funny and handsome little boy and I am enjoying being your mother so much. Although there are times when you try my patience I am extremely proud of you for being so inquisitive and being able to discern what’s reasonable from what’s bullshit at such a young age. I think you will make a great lawyer or politician someday as long as you don’t get things twisted.

In all honesty I would love to chart the course of your life because as your mother I just think I know best. But I promise to try and stand aside and let you live your own life and make your own decisions but I can’t promise to stand by and let you make decisions that I know will destroy your life. The main thing I want you to get out of this journey is to live it to the fullest and always give your best. Get the best possible education you can because that is something no one can EVER take away from you. Pray, read, travel, laugh, always use condoms, don’t lead women on, never hit a woman no matter what, have babies after you’re married and always call your mama.

Although it’s your life I wouldn’t be a mother if I didn’t mention how stupid it would be for you to use drugs, smoke cigarettes, steal, lie or cheat. And FYI- the police will have NO tolerance for you so, please stay out of the criminal justice system until you become a lawyer. Jail is not a place you want to live or visit- do not place that burden on your mother to see her first born locked up like an animal. You may as well cut my heart out of my chest with a dull knife!

You also need to know that I will ride your ass like a mechanical bull if you don’t do well in school. If you are having problems I will be the first person to try and help you either myself, by hiring a tutor or having you tested for learning/ developmental issues. But I will NEVER EVER accept excuses or laziness where school is concerned. I might let you get away with a lot stuff throughout your time with me but NEVER will you be allowed to get over on mama when it comes to school. Besides I already know how smart you are so you have to keep it up!

Finally, never let someone else (including me) define for you what it means to be a man. You are a unique manifestation of God first and foremost and by serving God and your community you do a great service to all mankind. I sincerely appreciate you for being the first person to ever teach me the meaning of unconditional love, patience and selflessness. I hope your star shines brightly for many, many, years to come! There are no "do-overs" in life so be sure you live it right the first time.

Love You Forever,
Your Biggest Fan,
Mama

Friday the 13th: Looking for better luck!

Okay, so here' s goes my um. . .weekly post. I know I lied but I did try. I tried to keep up with the blog and tried to keep it relevant just like I've been trying to keep motivated at work, engaged with my son and enchanted with my husband. That last one has been tough considering dude was working my nerves for a about a month or so at the end of the year!

At any rate, I've felt like a major failure on all fronts. Of course I'm thinking a good idea is to totally blame EVERYTHING on this pregnancy. I didn't do it all with my first pregnancy (I was like ridiculously calm and energetic) so I figure I'm going to milk this excuse until this kid is at least TWO! Ha ha!

Anyway, my life is back to feeling like I'm being tossed around in a food processor at high speed. This month, this short little month of February, I have SEVEN of my family members- close family members (hubby, mom, both/only nieces, uncle, only aunt and step daughter) who have birthdays- three of which are milestones (16, 18 & 60). Everybody is having a party or celebration that requires my attendance and there are only FOUR weekends in the month. You do the math.

Then March rolls around and that first week my son turns 5 and is having a party on the 7th. Then I've been told a baby shower is being planned for me on the 14th. That leaves FOUR short weeks until Bambino Number 2 makes her debut. Oh, but wait in between that time I have a presentation due for school AND a ginormous project at work that I've just been told is expected to be completed before I go on maternity leave.

And on top of all of this my laptop is out of commission. . .I have been forced to use the antiquated desktop in our game room that is temperamental as hell. But the best part of my week was being sick- I'm talking complete with throwing up soup (sorry I know that's TMI)- for most of this week. Fevers, night sweats the whole nine. Just some random bacterial thing going around. My son was down for the count also so, I'm blaming those snotty nosed kids at his school! No, really I'm blaming their parents- I never send my son to school if he's really sick, i.e, has a FEVER of 100.9 or higher. Everyone knows or should know if a kid is running a fever they are more than likely infectious/contagious and can make other kids sick!

Ah, but I digress. . .or not, this started off as a rambling post and I guess it's best to finish it that way. Tomorrow is my husbands b-day, yep he's a Valentine's Baby. His defense when I tell him he's being a little too touchy-feely- he says he can't help it because number one I'm so irresistible (yeah, me and these extra 24 pounds) and he was born on the day of love. O. . K. I bought him this gadget from the Apple Store that he's been wanting and my son and I plan on making heart shaped cookies. I know the restaurants will be a mess tomorrow but it's been kind of a tradition to go to Pappasito's every year so, I guess we'll get started early.

Hope everyone has a great Valentine's Day! And be careful not to let any black cats cross your path tonight! Although it might have the opposite effect on luck for me. . .

Party Over Here

This past weekend I took my son to a birthday party at Minute Maid Park. Houston's baseball stadium and home to the Houston Astros. I didn't even know you could have birthday parties at the stadium! But leave it to my friend to find the most awesome places for her children's parties.
The party was really NICE! So nice in fact, that most of the adults were saying they were going to have their birthday parties there! We met outside the stadium and our party was escorted by a hostess to one of the box suites with the most incredible view of the field. Once the children finished their personal pan pizzas, drinks and gourmet cookies we headed down to the field.

The kids got to walk around the diamond with strict rules NOT to touch the perfectly manicured turf. They also got to sit in the actual dugout and take pictures and then it was on to the play zone appropriately named Squeeze Play. A two story enclosed play area with slides and things to climb on and run across. There was also as spot where the kids could hit balls of water that came up over a mock version of home plate. My son's favorite thing was racing against this cardboard cut out of one of the players.

I highly recommend Minute Maid Park for a unique party experience even if your child isn't a fan of baseball they are sure to love this place!

Frogs, Snails & Puppy Dog Tails

Okay, I know in the beginning when I found out about our little accident, er, I mean blessing from God. . . I had hoped it would be another boy. My thought was that a boy would be "easier" since I've already experienced parenting a boy up to age 4.

Well, now I cannot wait for more estrogen to enter our household! My son is slowly evolving from a sweet, docile little mama's boy into a straight up maniac! If he's not jumping from the highest point in the house (apparently thinking he can fly!) he's running through the house screaming battle cries and doing high kicking karate. Often he won't respond to you unless you address him by his superhero name or unless you know the secret password.

I know that for the most part this is normal "boy" behavior but I am in such unfamiliar territory. I grew up in a single mother household with a sister. We operated on emotion and logic. Right now my son is operating on pure IMAGINATION! I think he sees something else in his mind instead of what's real. Like perhaps when he jumps off the top of the couch he sees himself landing in an ocean or perhaps a bed of soft cotton instead of hardwood floors! This boy has banged his head, foot, arm, knees and shoulder so many times in the past few months I am shocked he hasn't broken a bone yet.

Ah, the joys of boys. . .WHATEVER. He's nutty as a can of Planter's! I can't wait for my little princess to make her debut. I'm actually looking forward to Barbie dolls, tea parties and manicures! And I know pink is kind of passe when it comes to being the color of choice for girls but I cannot wait to buy a cute PINK frilly dress with a bunch of flowers and lace that screams I AM A GIRL!!! Ha ha! I do absolutely ADORE my son but I can't wait to even things out in our household.

Confused

I am confused about something. Why is it when some people decide life is not worth living anymore they also make that decision for others? I seriously don’t understand the murder-suicide phenomenon. I hate my life so much that not only am I going to kill myself but I don’t want you to live either so, I guess I hate your life too???

I mean if a person is so determined to end their life then DO IT and claim that one way ticket to hell. But by all means don’t take other folks with you! I was shocked to hear about the man in L.A. who killed his family and then himself. How in the hell do you kill FIVE little children, your wife and then yourself? Because he got laid off (I think his wife also lost her job). Sorry if this sounds crass but if he really wanted to turn a selfish act into a selfless act he should have found away to terminate his life that would appear to be an “accident” and then perhaps his family could have collected some type of insurance policy. I’m just sayin’. . .

The other thing that shocked me is that this was a BLACK man. Surely he was aware there were other options. Was he that proud or just an idiot? I’m thinking the latter. I have had some low points in my life, which when you really think about it is what makes life well. . .life. You have peaks and valleys. It’s never perfect and there are ALWAYS tests of strength, will and faith that you have to get through and I guess it’s true that only the strongest survive. The weak apparently take their lives (and the lives of others) because they figure it’s easier. Like I said, I’ve had some low points but NEVER, EVER, NEVER would I ever kill myself.

In all honesty I can say that I’ve thought about what “life” would be without me. Would I be missed? But those thoughts always had to do with me either never having been born or dying of some natural cause. I can barely swallow those big ass prenatal vitamins so I know I couldn’t take any pills. I would never try to shoot myself because what if my aim is slightly off and I become paralyzed instead? And why in the world would someone stick a knife in their chest over and over? I like to think I have a high tolerance for pain but come on. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

Life is already short enough and regardless to how much we dread it or even fight it the fact is we will ALL die someday anyway- why hurry along the process. Find the light, the love and the goodness in life and enjoy it while you can. Sorrow don't last always. . .

Untitled

Man, it's been a whole week since I even THOUGHT about this blog! It's getting kinda sad. . .

Hmm, I guess I could recap my week:

1. BARACK OBAMA is in the WHITE HOUSE!!!! Was that not the most AMAZING inauguration ever?! Although there were some white conservatives HATING on the event because- get this- they were focusing too much on black people. I ain't making that up. They felt the media focused "too much" on black people in the crowds and that the majority of the entertainment and speakers were black. So, when things are reversed and a white president has white supporters and white entertainers/speakers. It's okay? Got it. Moving on from all things ignorant. . .

2. Had another doctor's appointment and the little princess seems to be growing and doing fine. April 13th will be here before you know it and I will NOT be ready. But it's been my experience that it all ends up working out. :-)

3. Enrolled in a Psychology course. Theories of Personality. I can already tell it's going to be an interesting semester. Maybe I'll continue this blog to psychoanalyze people in my family and the media.

4. I think I might be mildly obsessed with the Twilight book series. Yeah, I know that's supposed to be a "young adult" series. I don't really want to elaborate except to say although Stephenie Meyer is not the most prolific writer in the world she has to be given credit for creating one of the most enthralling modern day fictional characters (Edward Cullen) in a long time.

5. I am tired of working. 'Nuff said.

Hopefully I'll be able to get some more interesting/relevant postings in this week.